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I think it can be useful with older kids (teens). Teens often ask for very specific privileges, skate on the grey line set out by their parents, and then claim they did not break the rules. If you have a kid like this then it can be very useful to set the rules out in writing (including what will happen if you break them) and have the child sign the contract.
I would not do general contracts, but contracts to define specific privileges might work well. I would not do a contract for a child younger than 12/13.
Tried to rep you but I couldn't
My thoughts exactly. Sometimes with teens you need to be really, really specific! What's obvious to us is not to them.
My thoughts exactly. Sometimes with teens you need to be really, really specific! What's obvious to us is not to them.
Exactly! While I may say "You need to come home right after school." He may interpret that as: "You need to be home at some point before dinner." He may see nothing wrong with stopping at friend's house to do homework there, while I will be at home seething (probably calling him to find out WHERE ARE YOU?). A contract can be useful.
Not every child will benefit from contracts (mine listens pretty well) but others really need every detail spelled out, in writing.....Know your child.
Exactly! While I may say "You need to come home right after school." He may interpret that as: "You need to be home at some point before dinner." He may see nothing wrong with stopping at friend's house to do homework there, while I will be at home seething (probably calling him to find out WHERE ARE YOU?).
This made me laugh! Mine listens pretty well too. But there have been times where I've asked him to clean the basement since he's the main one who uses it. His definition of clean and mine are vastly different! So I've learned to spell it out as to what I expect.
Gotta love teens. It's hard because one minute they act very adult like and the next their age. Hard to remember their brains are still developing.....
Nope.
Why would there be?
Contracts don't always work for businesses and individuals...why would they work for families?
Depends on the family. Derek Jeter, one of the most admired baseball players ever, signed a contract with his parents every year.
This is excerpted from CBS News's 60 Minutes Interview with Jeter and his parents:
"And work at it he did. Every year from the time he was a kid until he graduated high school, Derek had to sign a contract drawn up by his father. He would be permitted to play baseball only if he complied with all 18 clauses, including "no arguing," "no alcohol and drugs," and "respect girls.""
Nothing wrong with a contract if used appropriately - contracts outline expectations and provide clarity for both parties. I agree with jkcoop and momma_bear....I would guess they would be best utilized with teens if needed. Frankly - a basic understanding of contracts and how they work is a very good thing to provide your teens as they get older.
I used contracts with my children a few times throughout their lives---at various ages, not just as teens. The first time was around the 10-11 age range.
It's a fantastic parenting tool that outlines expected behavior or goal and details consequences and rewards.
Having them sign a contract mentally commits them to the agreement. We had great success with contracts.
For some reason, my children took contracts very seriously. They even wrote and presented a few contracts of their own when they wanted to accomplish something.
In my experience, parents who resist the idea of contracts are parents who do not want to promise anything to their children.
They were parents who parented without clear consequences and give out punishments at whim instead of thinking through their parenting.
I have never known a parent to request a contract from their child. Anyone who does can't be too secure in their role as parent, or are afraid of their kids. It would damage the trust between parent and child IMO. When families trust each member, there is no need for a contract.
Nope.
Why would there be?
Contracts don't always work for businesses and individuals...why would they work for families?
Sure they can work. Any relationship is healthy when there are clearly laid down roles, expectations and duties.
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