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Old 07-25-2010, 09:21 AM
 
28,164 posts, read 25,189,385 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYMD67 View Post
See, for me, it has become more difficult... my kids are 5 & 8 and they DO NOT sleep in, up by 6:30am almost every,single day, no matter what time they go to bed. They want me to still play with them, all of the time,unless they are watching tv... I don't allow the tv on during the day though, it is shut off by 9am and that is it ,once in awhile, if it is a rainy day or something, they will watch a movie or something.....
I wish they would sleep in, that would be wonderful!!

My kids want me to play with them all the time too - they are 6 & 3. But I make them play with each other and by themselves. I know it's not a popular concept, but I am not their playmate or friend. I'm their mom. Now, I will play board games here and there or build a fort with them, but by and large they are on their own to entertain themselves.
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Old 07-25-2010, 11:35 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
My kids want me to play with them all the time too - they are 6 & 3. But I make them play with each other and by themselves. I know it's not a popular concept, but I am not their playmate or friend. I'm their mom. Now, I will play board games here and there or build a fort with them, but by and large they are on their own to entertain themselves.
You're doing the right thing. Children who know how to entertain themselves are much better off. I do the same thing. I don't play dolls or action figures with my girls, but we spend a chunks of time together during the day. We'll bake or play a board game or make up stories. My husband likes to play the wii with them in the evenings. Most of the time, however, they're running around with their friends.

Children need to learn how to entertain themselves. We should check in and pay attention, but children learn through play, and they won't learn with an adult controlling all of the action. One of my favorite things to do is to listen to my girls and their friends play imaginary games. The things they come up with!
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Old 07-25-2010, 12:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lucygirl951 View Post
You're doing the right thing. Children who know how to entertain themselves are much better off. I do the same thing. I don't play dolls or action figures with my girls, but we spend a chunks of time together during the day. We'll bake or play a board game or make up stories. My husband likes to play the wii with them in the evenings. Most of the time, however, they're running around with their friends.

Children need to learn how to entertain themselves. We should check in and pay attention, but children learn through play, and they won't learn with an adult controlling all of the action. One of my favorite things to do is to listen to my girls and their friends play imaginary games. The things they come up with!

LOL I agree. I love seeing what the kids come up with when they use their imagination. I am so much better with taking them to museums or whathaveyou then playing with Matchbox cars...hahaha.
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Old 07-25-2010, 04:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by whosez View Post
What perplexes me is how working mothers who work full time and are out of the house 9-10 hours a day, get the same chores done as SAHM. I have friends of grammar school aged children (5+) who work full time and others who are SAHM. Both groups of women clean their homes, prepare meals, do laundry, garden, grocery shop and attend to their children before and after school. Yet, many SAHM's claim to be very busy all day - even when their children are school aged and in school for 6+ hours a day. I know that having small children at home all day is one thing - but when they're in school all day, SAHM's have 5-6 hours of interrupted time to get a lot done.

I work full time and receive frequent calls from friends who are SAHM. They get up early and do things around the house, but they also tell me that they go to the salon, or lunching with other SAHM's, or may grab a nap during the day, or lay out in the sun at their pools, etc.

I think being a SAHM is awesome and it's a great thing that some women can do it. It's a luxury for many. But all moms have the AM and PM responsibilities of child rearing and working moms have to the "job" of being a mom before work, putting in a full day at work outside of the house and then returning home for their next "job" and may have 4 hours after work to cram in a lot of stuff.

I have been both a working mom and a SAHM. When a working mom, evening were very busy. Get home from work through together a quick meal, try to do a little cleaning and spend time with the kids. Laundry got done when there was no clean towels. As a stay at home mom the house stayed clean, laundry stayed caught up and we had more 'meals like grandma would make." The evening were family time, after dinner all I had to do was dishes. We had a much more relaxed day because I did all of the chores through the day. Weekends were more relaxing because through the week I would get all of the shopping and errands done. Hubby didn't have to help out when I was home either.
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Old 07-25-2010, 04:55 PM
 
2,839 posts, read 9,960,728 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whosez View Post
What perplexes me is how working mothers who work full time and are out of the house 9-10 hours a day, get the same chores done as SAHM. I have friends of grammar school aged children (5+) who work full time and others who are SAHM. Both groups of women clean their homes, prepare meals, do laundry, garden, grocery shop and attend to their children before and after school. Yet, many SAHM's claim to be very busy all day - even when their children are school aged and in school for 6+ hours a day. I know that having small children at home all day is one thing - but when they're in school all day, SAHM's have 5-6 hours of interrupted time to get a lot done.

I work full time and receive frequent calls from friends who are SAHM. They get up early and do things around the house, but they also tell me that they go to the salon, or lunching with other SAHM's, or may grab a nap during the day, or lay out in the sun at their pools, etc.

I think being a SAHM is awesome and it's a great thing that some women can do it. It's a luxury for many. But all moms have the AM and PM responsibilities of child rearing and working moms have to the "job" of being a mom before work, putting in a full day at work outside of the house and then returning home for their next "job" and may have 4 hours after work to cram in a lot of stuff.
If mom works all day and the kids are in daycare/school, then no one is home messing up the house. If you have two toddlers running around, then you are constantly cleaning after your little tornadoes. If my kids are off with friends for the day, then my house stays very clean, as it would if I worked full-time.

If I worked full-time, I imagine that my husband would do half of the housework... as it is, I'm home all day so he rarely if ever has to cook dinner, load the dishwasher, sweep/mop the kitchen floor, vacuum, wash laundry, fold laundry, get the kids to pick up their rooms, clean bathrooms, etc.

With all of that said, I'm sure that working moms don't get as much of a break when they're home, because they need to do the dinnertime shuffle, spend time with their children, and catch up on everything that they did not do during the day (bathrooms, laundry, washing floors, vacuuming, etc).
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Old 07-25-2010, 05:33 PM
 
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I do the cooking, most of the basic housework, laundry and errands. I also walk the dog and work out for about an hour. I take the kids to their doctor's appts, supervise playdates, get their hair cut, etc. By the time my husband gets home, the kids have done their homework and dinner is in the oven. He usually offers to do the dishes and I let him (there usually aren't many because I wash as I go). We enjoy some family time together. If the kids have gotten a bunch of toys out in the play room or in the family room my husband will get them to pick up. After the kids go to bed we watch t.v., read or talk for a while.

During the Summer months I take the kids to the pool (sometimes ours, sometimes a friend's pool). We also visit museums, nature centers, parks and get together with friends and family for various activities.
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Old 07-26-2010, 10:40 PM
 
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It's a nice thought that working women's husband would do half of the housework, but I don't think this is the case in all homes. Yes, if kids are in school and no one is home during the day, the house won't be as messy. Having toddlers at home during the day will surely make for a messy home . I was refering to the scenario when kids are in school all day. And I realize that some mom's volunteer at school; but that's a choice, as is all volunteering. Some mothers choose to work. Others have to work. It's not easy getting a week's worth of major chores done over a weekend; especially if the kids have to be shuttled around to sports and activities on weekends. No matter how you cut it, SAHM's with kids in school, obviously have more time and are more empowered as to how to manage their time. When one works and is out of the house 8-10 hours a day, that leaves about 4-5 awake hours, before bed to tend to children, make dinner, clean up and hopefully unwind a bit before bed.

Driving kids to school doesn't require a mother to have on makeup, dress clothes and the preparation it takes to get ready for work. Most of my friends who drive their kids to school, wear flip flops and capris and head back home. I work and will tell you that the days that I've been off of work on paid time off, I RELISH on going to the grocery store and running other errands. The stores have so many less shoppers than they do on weekend. It's a real treat. None of my SAHM friends shop on weekends. The shop during the day when their kids are in school. It's a good thing.
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Old 07-27-2010, 12:02 AM
 
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I'm not technically a SAHM, but I teach part-time during the academic year at our local university. I used to work full-time, and I will attest to having a much more relaxed pace than most working mothers I know. I only teach for a few hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays while my girls are at school. On the days that I don't teach, I get my kids off to school, enjoy a slow cup of coffee, go to the gym, run errands if I have to, come home and grade papers for a couple of hours, do household chores, and I'm ready to greet my girls when they get off the bus. I don't pretend for a minute that I'm not fortunate. I also volunteer not only at the school, but also for two local non-profits and at our church.

However, my husband and I worked hard for our degrees (we both have MAs, which we earned without any financial assistance whatsoever from parents), and we set ourselves up before we decided to have children so that we wouldn't both have to work full time. We have also chosen a simpler lifestyle than most of our two full-time income friends. We live in a far more modest home (3BR, 1 and 1/2 bath). We drive inexpensive but reliable cars, not SUVs, cars. Our kids have never been to Disney, and nobody in the house has an Ipod or an Iphone. Our children don't have computers or televisions in their bedroom. We don't even own a DVR. So yeah, it's an easier life, but it's also a simpler one.
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Old 07-27-2010, 05:23 AM
 
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Lucygirl, I can't rep you again. We also choose to live simply so that I can stay home and homeschool the kids. We have made a lot of economical choices... and have also made a lot of financial mistakes, which we learned from! With that said, my part-time work-at-home business is picking up, plus the new school year is beginning soon, and I have been considering paying for a cleaning lady every other week or so, just to scrub the bathrooms, wash the floors, and vacuum. Yes, we buy our clothing used, live in a modest home, refuse to take on car payments.... but are considering a cleaning lady. LOL Everyone makes choices based on what's important to them.
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Old 07-27-2010, 09:45 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 6,164,428 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whosez View Post
It's a nice thought that working women's husband would do half of the housework, but I don't think this is the case in all homes. Yes, if kids are in school and no one is home during the day, the house won't be as messy. Having toddlers at home during the day will surely make for a messy home . I was refering to the scenario when kids are in school all day. And I realize that some mom's volunteer at school; but that's a choice, as is all volunteering. Some mothers choose to work. Others have to work. It's not easy getting a week's worth of major chores done over a weekend; especially if the kids have to be shuttled around to sports and activities on weekends. No matter how you cut it, SAHM's with kids in school, obviously have more time and are more empowered as to how to manage their time. When one works and is out of the house 8-10 hours a day, that leaves about 4-5 awake hours, before bed to tend to children, make dinner, clean up and hopefully unwind a bit before bed.

Driving kids to school doesn't require a mother to have on makeup, dress clothes and the preparation it takes to get ready for work. Most of my friends who drive their kids to school, wear flip flops and capris and head back home. I work and will tell you that the days that I've been off of work on paid time off, I RELISH on going to the grocery store and running other errands. The stores have so many less shoppers than they do on weekend. It's a real treat. None of my SAHM friends shop on weekends. The shop during the day when their kids are in school. It's a good thing.
I never intended for this thread to become a debate over who has it harder, stay at home or working moms. It seems quite clear that stay at home moms with kids in school would have more free time then parents who work outside the home. It's a different lifestyle. Both come with benefits and sacrifices. The biggest benefit of staying home for me and my family has been more quality time together. The sacrifices have all been financial.
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