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I have one of those! The best thing (for us) is that he is military and a week after my 2nd child was born he had to leave for a year. When you know you HAVE to do everything yourself it gets easier. I would suggest pretending he's not there! If you wake up evetday thinking you NEED to do it all yourself it's not as hard when the hubs doesn't help!
I couldn't help noticing your choice of possessive adjective, "my" second child. Why not our second child? Either you are saying that your husband is not the father of the child or that in your mind, you don't really have a marriage and you have already kicked him out, psychologically speaking. I thought the husband and the wife were supposed to be in it together.
I couldn't help noticing your choice of possessive adjective, "my" second child. Why not our second child? Either you are saying that your husband is not the father of the child or that in your mind, you don't really have a marriage and you have already kicked him out, psychologically speaking. I thought the husband and the wife were supposed to be in it together.
Just a guess, but since she went through the painful part, Id say its more hers....Hubby just got to do the fun part.
I couldn't help noticing your choice of possessive adjective, "my" second child. Why not our second child? Either you are saying that your husband is not the father of the child or that in your mind, you don't really have a marriage and you have already kicked him out, psychologically speaking. I thought the husband and the wife were supposed to be in it together.
She kicked him out psychologically speaking because HE wasn't willing to be part of the TEAM and help out. Don't blame her!
Yep, and she's raising the children on her own because he's never there, and when he is there, he might as well not be there because he doesn't help.
And maybe he doesn't help because she already had the attitude that it was her child and not our child. Sure, I agree that I cannot know this; I am just raising the possibility.
lisalan, When I first started posting on this board I was pretty hard on you. But you gave back to me as good as you got so I consider us even.
But the more I read your posts the more I started putting things together and thought that instead of being an overly-permissive mom you were a young mother, with small children, and totally overwhelmed. And I began seeing you in a very different light. By this thread I can see I wasn't too far off base.
First I hope you are being treated for your PPD. Depression changes the chemicals of the brain, and it changes the person you are. Having PPD and three little kids on top of it is a tough row to hoe. I joined a cognitive therapy group and it helped me immensely. If you should get the chance to do something like that I'd recommend it. A good group leader will show you how your thinking is all screwed up and how to correct it. Plus you'll be in with a group of people who totally understand you because the are in the same boat. Huge help.
I'm so happy you are getting out of the house. And I hope you can make it a regular event. When we're not getting help, and the kids are demanding all of our energy 24/7 the walls close in very quickly.
Most of all, hang in there! I think if you can get the PPD under control and get back to your normal self things will be easier to cope with! I'm thinking of you and promise to be a lot more understanding in the future.
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Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Enjoy your ladies' night out. You deserve it!
