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Your daughter is acting out because she is ANGRY there is something that has happened to her to make her this way. Please send her to a child psychologist so they can figure out why she is acting this way.
I disagree. Kids don't need therapy for every little hiccup along the way. Therapy can be a very useful tool, but from what I read in the OP, I honestly don't think it's needed.
OP: Talk to your daughter. She may not open up at first, so spend time with her. Take her out to her favorite restaurant once in a while, have a spa day, etc. Even 15 minutes together at the grocery store can be benefical. As you become closer to her, things will become easier.
And someone posted something very, very true. This didn't just happen overnight. It's gonna take awhile for you to build up your relationship with her, but it's all worth it.
God where do i start, my 11 year old daughter is hell on legs, she lies, steals, argues, shouts, bullies her 8 year old brother. Tyries to cause arguments between her dad and me, says i lies about everything , when i dont, she makes out that i am the one thats in the wrong not her, i really dont know how much more i can take. I work full time nights and her dad is the home keeper and cares for the house and kids while i am at work, she has a nice family and never goes without. She is the perfect student at school, is lovely to her friends and thier parents, and is even nice to strangers.
I have got to the point where i would rather be at work, and as i already work 72 hours a week it copuld be difficult, she doesnt get to see much of me any way. So why be so horrible from the minute she gets up the when she shuts her eyes. I have even started to consider locking things away, and switching the phone off. I just cant express how horrible she is to me and her father on a 24 hour basis.
God where do i start, my 11 year old daughter is hell on legs, she lies, steals, argues, shouts, bullies her 8 year old brother. Tyries to cause arguments between her dad and me, says i lies about everything , when i dont, she makes out that i am the one thats in the wrong not her, i really dont know how much more i can take. I work full time nights and her dad is the home keeper and cares for the house and kids while i am at work, she has a nice family and never goes without. She is the perfect student at school, is lovely to her friends and thier parents, and is even nice to strangers.
I have got to the point where i would rather be at work, and as i already work 72 hours a week it copuld be difficult, she doesnt get to see much of me any way. So why be so horrible from the minute she gets up the when she shuts her eyes. I have even started to consider locking things away, and switching the phone off. I just cant express how horrible she is to me and her father on a 24 hour basis.
I understand from your next post that you work on a ward for cancer patients in the UK. Is this with the NHS or BUPA? If it is the NHS can you ask for flexi-time? I know its difficult especially with the tax increases and Lord knows what else is coming...I feel your pain because we were in your situation where work had to come first just in order to put food on the table.
But...your daughter lash out is a cry for help. Her bullying of her brother seems to be a huge sign...I wonder if she is being bullied by so-called friends. I think you need to take some down time and investigate further. The problem might not necessarily be you or your husband but something else which you are not seeing.
I too had a teen that was very difficult at this age, and I am a stay at home mom. The only thing that got us through was building our relationship. This is difficult when a child is acting out and angry and argumentative. but THERE IS NO OTHER HOPE. Its sink or swim here. No one can tell you how to build a relationship with your little terrorist. She may need therapy, medication, but they will not be a magic wand. You,ve got to start very small and let her know she is special to you. You've got to find time for just her even if it seems she wants nothing to do with you. She desperately needs your approval of her as a human being even if it seems she does not give a damn.
One hour a week having your undivided attention, even if she sulks the whole time, will build the bridge. Good luck, take a deep breath, and remember that studies show 13 year old girls have the same brain waves as mass murderers! Luckily, they also have the same hearts as the babies you held a decade ago.
What does your husband think is the problem? Does he work? What is his reaction when she misbehaves?
I agree with others, too, who feel she needs more quality time with her mom. If mom spent more one on one time with her, she might also figure out if there's something going on causing her to behave this way. Maybe it's just hormones or maybe it's something else, but mom won't know if she's not there participating more.
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, she doesnt get to see much of me any way. So why be so horrible from the minute she gets up the when she shuts her eyes. I have even started to consider locking things away, and switching the phone off. I just cant express how horrible she is to me and her father on a 24 hour basis.
