Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
These parties have turned into nothing but a display of the parent's wealth. Which, in a lot of cases, means how much they can charge on VISA and pay off for the next three years. I have a friend who lives in one of the wealthiest communities in the country and the kids complained that the hummer limo that was rented wasn't orange! I heard that and threw up my hands.
We went with invite your friends for a bar-b-q in the backyard or at the beach where they could surf and get free food!! Fun but not ostentatious. We flat out told our kids that their college funds had first crack at any excess cash that was going to be thrown around. Meanies.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 07-25-2010 at 11:07 AM..
I LOVE goody bags. They say "Thanks for coming!" One year, we did a cowboy theme at a stable and I got them shaped like little cowboy boots. It was cute!!!
I did think about the museum this year and they do a sleepover that I hope we might do next year. I am ready for my kid to want smaller parties. This is a great stage though.
As an aside, I have truly come to despise attending Little League. I do it. But, my inner child is being drug through this kicking and screaming.
Where is it written that kids have to have birthday parties? We live in a big beautiful, expensive house, have more than enough income, etc and our kids have never had more than a family birthday party. All this was mentioned only to show it is not a matter of money.
We let them decide on what they want to do as a Family activity- museum, park, swimming, tour, book store or whatever and pick one day that is special for each girl. We don't invite friends and our family is just the 4 of us locally. I do take cupcakes and party napkins to school so each girl feels special but we have not done anymore than that and this is fine with them.
One girl is very shy and the other has sound sensitivities so big parties at chuck e cheese, etc are not pleasant for them. We don't go overboard on lots of expensive presents either. At least 3 new books, some craft kit or activity and yes clothes count as birthday presents.
This is our second set of kids separated by 19 years so I've been in the "my kid deserves it all" phase before. Now I realize what is really important.
They are only 8 but as they get older we will do some volunteer type party. Like helping at a pet rescue facility, donating for a charity or project to raise money. I'm all for teaching my kids to give back more than they take and this philosophy has to begin very young.
BTW last birthday I asked each girl separately if they wanted to have a destination birthday with lots of friends invited and they said a resounding NO. They prefer our special Family Birthday Tradition. That makes me happy.
No one has to have a birthday party. But no one has to have presents, weddings, Super Bowl parties, Fourth of July parties, Bunco parties, etc either. *shrug*
I like your ideas about the volunteering. My older son and I are going to start volunteering at the soup kitchen, but not on his birthday. My youngest sister, who turned 16 this year, turned down a big Sweet 16 party too. And lots of people think she is spoiled because my parents buy her basically whatever she wants.
Both of my girls birthdays are within a week of each other. It is in May so I have taken them and 1 friend to the local Renaissance Faire for the day. It has cost us anywhere from $100-150 every year. It might be more than a home party but I would lose my mind with 20 kids running through my house. No clean up and hubby goes in the middle when it gets to a hot part of the day and gets us a birthday cake with ice cream in the middle and it is SOOOO GOOD by then. Plus most of the time we get to have cake/ice cream with the King and/or Queen and alot of the cast. The girls love it.
Both of my girls birthdays are within a week of each other. It is in May so I have taken them and 1 friend to the local Renaissance Faire for the day. It has cost us anywhere from $100-150 every year. It might be more than a home party but I would lose my mind with 20 kids running through my house. No clean up and hubby goes in the middle when it gets to a hot part of the day and gets us a birthday cake with ice cream in the middle and it is SOOOO GOOD by then. Plus most of the time we get to have cake/ice cream with the King and/or Queen and alot of the cast. The girls love it.
I'm in Ct. too, and that is so true! I'm even finding some charge $400-500, and that's without goody bags or cake! My college-aged kids had parties hosted by entertainment/sports centers/restaurants etc. when they were younger, but it wasn't that expensive. Now it's just plain ridiculous. My youngest has yet to have a party, but I might next year. One other thing that gets me about these huge parties is the timing of them. Some are scheduled at the oddest times. One last year was scheduled during a day off from school that was for parent-teacher conferences----we had to rush through the conference so we could make it to the party! Hello, who would schedule a class party during parent-teacher conferences? A couple of kids couldn't come at all. And my son just recently got an invitation to an evening party on a weeknight that will be an hour or more away with rush hour traffic, it would take up the entire evening! I said no to that one. I know parents do this because "off-peak" times are a little cheaper, but at least plan them closer to home.
yikes! About $200 is more the norm here. that includes all the paper products and in some cases, the cake. I'm looking onto our rec centers for the next one. $180 for 15 kids, includes the paper products and the cake.
That's bad planning on the parents part.
I agree about keeping them closer to home. An hour drive is ridiculous.
So I guess cupcakes made with Betty Crocker cake mix, with grandma's special frosting, hotdogs and cole slaw or a couple large pizzas, and pin the tail on the donkey isn't done anymore? And balloons, with little fist-sized bags made out of plastic netting holding chocolate channukah gelt (gold wrapped chocolate coins) for favors..
The only reason people are spending $15 a head on parties is because they have forgotten about simplicity. And of course we have taught complexity to our children, who now expect it, and would whine and think mommy doesn't love them anymore if they don't get the 'big deal' party.
Not including the main course (pizza or hotdogs) you could have a party in the back yard or living room for under $100 all inclusive. The local dollar store has party hats, 12 for $1. The same store has napkins, in all kinds of festive colors and designs, $1.00/20. With matching plates - that's another buck. So we're..under $5 right now, and we've already gotten the hats, the plates, and the napkins.
Here's the fun part - it doesn't matter that they're cheap. Everyone's gonna be throwing them away after the party anyway. The kids won't know they're cheap unless the adults tell them. And even then, chances are, the kids won't know what that -means- unless the adults teach them. Which is a pretty rotten thing to teach a little kid who just wants to have fun on his birthday.
An old sheet and a couple of upturned lawn chairs makes a tunnel, and colored Sharpies can turn the sheet into a tree-shrouded castle, or a secret space ship. Six oversized garbage bags taped together lengthwise over the grass with an adult in charge of the garden hose can become a slip-n-slide. No lawn of your own? Bring the kids to the public park for a big party-hat-wearing playdate. Bring the cupcakes, unadorned, and some frosting in different colors and flavors, and sprinkles and shots and mini M&Ms and whatever else, and have a "design your own cupcake" party. My mom used to give us Make Your Own Sundae parties.
There's no reason at all to have expensive birthday parties for kids, except to try and impress the adults. Children can experience joy in very simple pleasures, unless the adults ruin it for them by teaching them that simple pleasures aren't worth enjoying.
FWIW, I think some of the at-home parties can be more elaborate and expensive than the bounce house type parties where they do everything for you for $200. I'm just not a party-planning creative type person. It is not my strong area. I hope next year we can either combine my 2 kids' parties into 1, or do something smaller with family only or just a few friends.
So I guess cupcakes made with Betty Crocker cake mix, with grandma's special frosting, hotdogs and cole slaw or a couple large pizzas, and pin the tail on the donkey isn't done anymore? And balloons, with little fist-sized bags made out of plastic netting holding chocolate channukah gelt (gold wrapped chocolate coins) for favors..
The only reason people are spending $15 a head on parties is because they have forgotten about simplicity. And of course we have taught complexity to our children, who now expect it, and would whine and think mommy doesn't love them anymore if they don't get the 'big deal' party.
Not including the main course (pizza or hotdogs) you could have a party in the back yard or living room for under $100 all inclusive. The local dollar store has party hats, 12 for $1. The same store has napkins, in all kinds of festive colors and designs, $1.00/20. With matching plates - that's another buck. So we're..under $5 right now, and we've already gotten the hats, the plates, and the napkins.
Here's the fun part - it doesn't matter that they're cheap. Everyone's gonna be throwing them away after the party anyway. The kids won't know they're cheap unless the adults tell them. And even then, chances are, the kids won't know what that -means- unless the adults teach them. Which is a pretty rotten thing to teach a little kid who just wants to have fun on his birthday.
An old sheet and a couple of upturned lawn chairs makes a tunnel, and colored Sharpies can turn the sheet into a tree-shrouded castle, or a secret space ship. Six oversized garbage bags taped together lengthwise over the grass with an adult in charge of the garden hose can become a slip-n-slide. No lawn of your own? Bring the kids to the public park for a big party-hat-wearing playdate. Bring the cupcakes, unadorned, and some frosting in different colors and flavors, and sprinkles and shots and mini M&Ms and whatever else, and have a "design your own cupcake" party. My mom used to give us Make Your Own Sundae parties.
There's no reason at all to have expensive birthday parties for kids, except to try and impress the adults. Children can experience joy in very simple pleasures, unless the adults ruin it for them by teaching them that simple pleasures aren't worth enjoying.
Fine. Then YOU do that. I am not interested in taping garbage bags together to make a slip n slide. I don't see that this party thing is a big issue. I've seen all kinds of birthday celebrations, including not doing anything at all. Not EVERYONE is going as overboard as some would have you believe. My kids have been to home parties, parties at the park with games, parties at the rec center pool, and some of their friends don't have parties at all. If YOU feel you have to keep up with the Jones's that's your own problem (not YOU, but people in general). I think people going overboard is the exception not the rule, at least not around here.
There have been some great answers here - and some good explanations!
My parents, their friends, and most of our friends were always pretty well off.
But almost all our parties were backyard pool parties with cake, cokes, and maybe someone would grill...food was rarely meals and usually just snack-type stuff...maybe pizza. Then we'd all dry off, watch videos, eat popcorn, tell ghost stories (slumber parties), open presents...there were rarely any parents there (besides the supervising ones)...if they did come, they'd have a beer, chat, and then leave. Sometimes we'd sneak out at night and TP someone's house. Or hide underwear in the freezer.
Parties were fun because of who was going to be there, not because of what we'd be doing. And they really didn't cost a whole lot. There was rarely a theme, there were rarely goodie bags, hats, anything like that...
My kids are going to be sorely disappointed if they think there's gonna be anything like the parties we've been going to...I can see the food part, but the rest is just silly.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A couple of kids couldn't come at all. And my son just recently got an invitation to an evening party on a weeknight that will be an hour or more away with rush hour traffic, it would take up the entire evening! I said no to that one. I know parents do this because "off-peak" times are a little cheaper, but at least plan them closer to home. 
