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I think if all you have said is a fair and accurate representation of the circumstances then your Mother is being too clingy and should let you go. However, if you really want to be independent you have to live on your own. It's nice to be able to save money and stay home while you go to school, but as long as you live there you have to follow her rules. If your details are accurate... I would let you go.
Is your mom typically this anxious about other things? Did she not want you to attend college away from home? Does she typically depend on you for a lot of emotional support? How 'short' is a 'short' driving record? One year, one month?
Go. Your car, your money, your time. It may be rough but she's going to have let go sometime and for something so minor and so short, I think this is an excellent opportunity. Just tell her you love her but she has no grounds to object and that's that. She may get upset and all but still do it. She needs to get used to the idea you're an adult and the sooner she does so the better it will be.
Man I drove to the beach 12 hours away when I was a senior in high school and only left a note on the kitchen table saying, "Gone to Padre, be back soon." Anyway, but this is you. Why doesn't she want you to go?
I'm a 19 year old who wants to visit his hometown this summer, which is about a four hour drive from where i live. My mother wont let me drive down there by myself. I have younger friends who are going to places like el salvador and hawaii by themselves on planes for a week and whose parents are paying and letting them and these folks ain't ones i trust fully a week by themselves. My plan is to drive down in the car i'm paying the payment and insurance on and pay my own way shopping, gas, all that, (i work 25 hrs a week and go to school). Also, i would stay with someone responsible like a well-known friend, one of my mother's good friends, or family. I'm also just not the party type, my plans are to hang out with my old friends, go to my old church, and go to the big malls, not get wasted (i don't party period where i live). I consider myself very responsible when compared to the average 19 yr old. If you were my parent knowing all this would you let me go? If you would how could i convince my mother?
Well, you are 19, paying for the car, insurance...etc.
Technically, as well as legally, she can't do much about you hitting the road.
Can't remembewr of ANY law, stating that once you are 18, that you CAN'T go on to a road trip......(as long as averything is on the up-and-up concerning the car).
My stepson was almost 18, when he drove 4 hours to NC to visit his mom and friends.
What were we supposed to do...stop him??????
There is a time in a kids life, when parents just need to lean back, and let them make their own decisions.......... and driving is one of them.
Just think, once you are hitting 18 you are allowed to vote, go into the US military, and even get married....
Your mom's biggest concern, shouldn't be you driving 4 hours away....
Go, and have a good time.....just be smart about things!
Last edited by MB2; 06-24-2007 at 08:40 AM..
Reason: typo
Normally I would say, living in your Mom's house, therefore follow Mom's rules or move out, just as you would with any other landlord...
But something else is going on here - this isn't the same as "Don't stay out to all-hours and come home drunk" or "I don't like your friends"...although maybe she doesn't appreciate the people you plan to spend time with?
Bottom line, you ARE an adult paying household expenses, car/insurance and your own schooling costs (Bravo!) and her restricting your ability to travel is...well, it crosses that comfortable line of sensibility. If you were a deadbeat driving her car my opinion would be different...
Sit down and have a serious talk with her.
Find out what her real concerns are and if you are truly as responsible as you present yourself here, reassure her of your clear mind, able body, good driving record...tell her you are going...give her a phone number to contact you for emergencies and stay out of trouble.
Let me tell you from a Mothers perspective...I'm sure she is worried something might happen to you...and something could happen to you NO MATTER how good a person you are...
I know our tendency as parents can be, to be overprotective with our children...my daughter is a part of my soul...I don't know what I would do if something happened to her...I would rather die myself then allow something to happen to her...now realize your Mother no doubt feels the same way about you, this is probably the reason she is hesitant...not because she thinks evil of you or mistrusts you or doesn't want you to have any fun. I would also kick myself for the REST of my life if I gave permission for my daughter to do something and then she was hurt by it.
My daughter is only 10 years old, I allowed her to fly from Orlando to Denver to spend 2 weeks with my sister. I was a nervous WRECK until I got the call that she had arrived safely...I am have been a little uneasy the entire time since she left and no doubt that will continue until she is back with me...its part of being a parent. I want her to have the confidence to be independent...thats why I have allowed to her fly on her own the last three summers...I allow her to do several things in order to increase her independence and confidence level but that doesn't mean it doesn't tear me up sometimes AND I always take precautions...
Yes my daughter walks down to the bank of mailboxes our development has to get the mail alone but she also carries a cell phone with her.
Give your Mom a break, try to come up with another way of doing it so that everyone will be happy. She is only trying to keep you safe...you are the most valuable thing in the world to her...put all the gold in Fort Knox on one side and you on the other...she would choose you...hands down.
Just think, once you are hitting 18 you are allowed to vote, go into the US military, and even get married....
Hell, you can be married at 14 in some states and enter the military at 17.
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