Help!!! My wife is lazy... (toddlers, older, house, running)

[Akama13]

Is it really dirty or are your expectations unrealistic?

[NYMD67]

I know quite a few SAHM's who do have housekeepers.... I don't understand it, especially when/if the kids are in school all day long, but that is their choice.
Seems that there would be alot of extra time to do what?
It isn't something I would choose to spend my money on, but that is just me.
Certainly, if that would help matters, I would say to look into it.

I also know quite a few SAHM's who don't cook. They feel that they have "done their job" all day and when their husband comes home, he takes over so to say. I joke and say "I am off duty" but for the most part, I still cook (not EVERY night, but most of the nights) and I always do bath duty & we do bedtime routine together, when he is here... (he is out of town frequently...).

[wsop]

I just thought of another idea, although I'm not sure if this has already been suggested. Although getting a maid to come in once a week is worth it for 50 bucks, that's still $200 a month! I know that's not in my budget right now!

But what about finding a mothers helper? These are usually preteens and young teens that will come in and help around the house or keep the kids occupied while your wife gets a little cleaning done or cooks dinner. 4 hours a week would only cost you $20!

[mconzemius]

Yes, I take pride in my clean house, my well happy children, etc....just as I would take pride in bringing home a paycheck if I worked outside the home. When I return to work, my husband will be expected to share the household responsibilities and the responsibilities of the children. Not only will he be expected to, but he will expect it of himself.

I see my role in our marriage (at this current time) as one of taking care of him and the kids. His role is to make the money. That is the agreement we made when we agreed I would stay at home. I feel that he is taking care of me and our family by providing financially and that in return I should take care of him and our children. I can, however, respect that the way I live my life isn't for everyone! Not everyone will be as happy about cleaning and cooking as I am! LOL!

[mconzemius]

Originally Posted by lucygirl951

Really? He doesn't do anything but take out the trash? Is it 1952? I only work part-time, and I do the largest portion of the housework, but I do expect my husband to participate.

If my husband sat me down and said, "Honey, we need to come up with a cleaning schedule for you," I'd divorce him. Wives who are SAHMs are not required to be servants to the household. Maintaining a clean home is a family responsibility.

Seeing that it's now 2010, the home financial situation is typically a family responsibility as well.

However, I'm blessed to not HAVE to work. The financial responsibility is SOLELY on him, so the household responsibilities are SOLELY on me. I don't necessarily think this is an old-fashioned way of life, but more so being fair to my husband in our roles. He takes care of us financially, I take care of us in every other way.

If I worked full time, we would have a 50/50 agreement on housework (well, maybe 60/40, me being the 60 of course! LOL!).

[Informed Info]

Originally Posted by NYMD67

I know quite a few SAHM's who do have housekeepers.... I don't understand it, especially when/if the kids are in school all day long, but that is their choice.
Seems that there would be alot of extra time to do what?

Whatever they want to because they can afford to?

[lucygirl951]

Originally Posted by mconzemius

Seeing that it's now 2010, the home financial situation is typically a family responsibility as well.

However, I'm blessed to not HAVE to work. The financial responsibility is SOLELY on him, so the household responsibilities are SOLELY on me. I don't necessarily think this is an old-fashioned way of life, but more so being fair to my husband in our roles. He takes care of us financially, I take care of us in every other way.

If I worked full time, we would have a 50/50 agreement on housework (well, maybe 60/40, me being the 60 of course! LOL!).

I've been the major breadwinner in my family. I was until we became pregnant with our second daughter, when I went down to a part-time teaching schedule. We've been married for 14 years, and for the first 6, I was earning most of the money. I still bring in a portion of it.

I just don't think the division household responsibilities/financial responsibilities is a fair one. It's entirely unbalanced. Running the household isn't just about cleaning and cooking. It's about doctors' appointments, shopping for food and clothing (and school supplies), managing time with the extended family, setting up the playdates, getting the kids to dance classes or art classes or rehearsals, keeping the family budget, communicating with teachers, helping with homework, and many a whole lot of other things I'm forgetting. The details of it are a real time suck.

My husband understands this too, and he would never use his earning power as leverage in our marriage. We are partners.

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by misplaced1

I'd think it wrong also if your husband had gone griping to a bunch of strangers years later about your smoking if he'd married you with the addiction.

Oh please. My husband knows I ***** about him and I know he ******* about me.

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by wsop

And one more thing. Posting on a public forum that your wife is uneducated and incapable of doing anything other than menial tasks for minimum wage is pretty degrading. What the he11 is the matter with you?

LOLOL This cracks me up. I see women complaing about their husbands every.fricken.day on here. A man complains about his wife and he is soooo bad?

[lucygirl951]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

Oh please. My husband knows I ***** about him and I know he ******* about me.

Hee hee! I love it, and I agree. Let's just be real people here, shall we?