Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
"I was holding the cigarettes for my friend....."
This and many other excuses won't get you anywhere. Deal with it. If you don't like your mom's rules MOVE OUT! I think we have established long ago you are living on borrowed property. You cannot take financial responsibility for yourself but you can for a friend? I learned VERY QUICKLY when I turned 18 to not co-sign, open accounts for, or in any other way put my name/reputation/credit report on the line for ANYONE other than myself. I got $CREWED big time by a friend for doing something very similar to what you did.
I figured out that Yes, my mother will go through my stuff even if I hide things, she finds them.
I broke her of it...but I was 25 at the time AND living on my own. I don't know why you are so surprised. Do you honestly think she never went through your stuff before? Unless you have a padlock on your door I will bet money on it. Your brother probably has too.
None of you here would be angry if someone went through your stuff and then told family members lies?
My mother-in-law did went through my things in MY HOME when she used to babysit my older daughter. Sometimes, when people are helping us, they feel that they have that kind of access to our lives. That's why she doesn't babysit in my home anymore. If I need her to watch the kids, I take them to her house.
That's the life of an adult. When someone violates your boundaries, empower yourself to create new ones. If you plan to continue to live on your mother's dime, you can get a lock box or rent a safety deposit box for your private papers.
When I grew up, I moved out. I had roommates when I couldn't afford to live on my own, and we -shared- the expenses. I paid for the right to live in my room, and with that right, came the right to not have people snooping in it. Even when I lived at home, after I grew up, I paid for the right to my privacy in the form of a modest weekly rent.
If you aren't chipping in for the rent, then no, you haven't paid for your privacy and therefore don't have any "right" to it.
Rinse, repeat, see ya in another week for the next episode of the same old tired story.
If your mother is the homeowner, there is no home in the house that she shouldn't have complete access to.
bunk.
it's a matter of personal dignity.
unless there are legitimate concerns about issues involving health, morals, or safety, a person's personal rights include privacy. and it doesn't matter if the OP is 20 or 12.
You've been mad at your mom any number of times in the past year that you've been posting....and each time you seem not only indignant but surprised. I don't get that. You say you want to move out but not at the expense of having a Blackberry or preparing food for $8/hr.
My prediction? Another year of posts about how bad your mom and brother are and how everything will change when you are making big bucks as a rookie police officer. If you ever get to the academy or go to school and actually finish even the classes you aren't interested in or don't think you should have to take. With any luck, by the time you are 25, you will understand that the only way your life will change is by owning it. How much time will you waste in the meantime?
So I get an IM from my grandmother just maybe 10 minutes ago.
My grandmother says to me I heard you have a $500 phone bill.
I thought she was talking about my mom's verizon bill which I am still on, which my mom doesn't pay and sometimes owes $500 at once on.
No, she was talking about me.
Apparently, my mom told her I ran up a $500 cell phone bill.
She also told her I snuck out, took the truck without permission, ran out $50 in gas and was out till 4am.
I can explain this all.
The truck: We did police training till 2am. I got home, my friend went to bed. I had not eaten all day, I woke up went straight to work, straight from work to training and then home, he didn't want to take me to get food because he was too tired. My brother was having friends spend the night and they were asleep in the living room. My mom was asleep in her room. I went to del taco to get food because there was nothing to make in the house and even if there was there were people asleep less than 10 ft from the kitchen and I didn't want to wake them up. I took the durango to go to del taco to get food, met a girl from work there and sat and talked with the durango off for an hour & a half to two hours. I didn't sneak out, I went out the garage door, when you open it, you can feel it in my moms room. And I went to get food because there was none at the house. She can't honestly expect me to go a whole 24 hours without eating. And you all know all hell breaks loose if she's woken up.
The cell: I opened up a cell phone account in my name for a friend. I was going to join on later once I had gotten my job. He got a replacement phone sent to him and sent back his old one. Verizon lost it and then charged us for it, it's all been taken care of. I had a bill sitting in my room that said I owed $600. This bill is VERY old.
Leads me to my next point.
My mom KNEW about the lost cell phone issue but how could she have told my grandmother exactly how much I owed if she had never seen the bill? Because I never showed it to her, just told her about it.
The other day I came home from work and my fan was off, stuff was moved and this miniature aquarium thing I have was switched on and running. In order to even get to it you have to make an effort to get to it, it was behind a box and a FULL laundry basket, my bills were sitting RIGHT above it on the next shelf up.
She must have come in to turn off my fan and then gotten curious and went through the rest of my room...
Words cannot express the anger and betrayal I feel right now. She VIOLATED my privacy. I am 20, 21 in 24 days, what is she doing going through my PERSONAL BILLS.
I know her house, she can do as she pleases, move out.
Well right now, I am PISSED OFF and have all rights to be.
Will you PLEASE stop posting these in the parenting forum. They are not parenting posts. I get it that you are irritated with your mother but it simply does not belong in this forum.
bunk.
it's a matter of personal dignity.
unless there are legitimate concerns about issues involving health, morals, or safety, a person's personal rights include privacy. and it doesn't matter if the OP is 20 or 12.
She kept her mother's car out, without asking, until 4 am. She needs to learn to give the kind of respect that she expects to get. It works both ways.
She kept her mother's car out, without asking, until 4 am. She needs to learn to give the kind of respect that she expects to get. It works both ways.
I was out for two hours, sitting less than a mile from home EATING because I hadn't eaten all day, and talking with a co-worker.
Should I have woken her up at 2am to ask her if I could take the car to get food?
Should I had made a disturbance turning on the lights in the kitchen, looking for ANYTHING to eat?
Should I have just gone to bed hungry?
What SHOULD I have done?
I woke up, went straight to work, worked all break, had a bag of combos to eat and then went straight to training that night.
I couldn't have gone to get lunch on my break because the closest thing is a 7-11 and a Chilis to work, I don't have the money for Chilis and 7-11 was the only thing left, everything else is too far to walk on a 30 minute lunch break.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
