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Old 08-08-2010, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Where there is too much snow!
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I have a niece that any uncle would be proud of. She works hard in school with outstanding grades and is on many of the schools extra curriculum programs. She wants to attend Ohio State and Go into the Medical profession as a doctor.

But she has a step mother who is an alcoholic/catholic and is constantly putting her down and accusing her of unspeakable things. She's 14, doesn't drink, smoke, party, sneak out at night or starts fights in any level. She's a great kid like I side. She always has her head in a book and is an avid reader. A strait (A+) student and is always willing to tutor other students on their home work when she can.

Her evil step mother (The Drunk) has already chased her own daughter out the door with her drinking habits, accusations of the same and now she has turned her anger and attention on my niece.

I'm not a rich uncle, but my wife and I would love to get her out of the situation all together since her father (my brother) seems to have very little if any back bone against the drunken abuser.

What can we do, we love very deeply and want to see her achieve life's goal and become a doctor some day.
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Old 08-08-2010, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,952,564 times
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I would talk to the father and tell him you feel they and your niece could use a break and you'd like to help out. If you do it without blame or accusation you might get a positive response. Good luck.
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Old 08-08-2010, 09:36 AM
 
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I agree with Whyte Byrd, talk to the father. And stay in contact with your niece as much as possible, lending her support.

I had to laugh at the OP's quote, though, "alcoholic/catholic". Do Catholics tend to be alcoholics?
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Old 08-08-2010, 10:27 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,813,806 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EarthBound? View Post
I have a niece that any uncle would be proud of. She works hard in school with outstanding grades and is on many of the schools extra curriculum programs. She wants to attend Ohio State and Go into the Medical profession as a doctor.

But she has a step mother who is an alcoholic/catholic and is constantly putting her down and accusing her of unspeakable things. She's 14, doesn't drink, smoke, party, sneak out at night or starts fights in any level. She's a great kid like I side. She always has her head in a book and is an avid reader. A strait (A+) student and is always willing to tutor other students on their home work when she can.

Her evil step mother (The Drunk) has already chased her own daughter out the door with her drinking habits, accusations of the same and now she has turned her anger and attention on my niece.

I'm not a rich uncle, but my wife and I would love to get her out of the situation all together since her father (my brother) seems to have very little if any back bone against the drunken abuser.

What can we do, we love very deeply and want to see her achieve life's goal and become a doctor some day.
I would talk to the father about maybe giving the girl a safe place where she can go when things at home are to much for her. It is hard not to accuse him of being an ineffective parent but it is in your niece's best interest that you remain neutral. You can also talk to your brother and get permission to offer your place as a safe neutral ground when things get tough at home.

G-d bless you for your kindness.
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Old 08-08-2010, 11:03 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,645,904 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andthentherewere3 View Post
I had to laugh at the OP's quote, though, "alcoholic/catholic". Do Catholics tend to be alcoholics?
This made me laugh because it reminded me of a story.

When my sister was getting married in a different state, all of the guests converged upon a hotel in town to attend the wedding. She was being married by a Catholic Priest who was a family friend. He drove up from another state. We had not seen him in a few years after he was transferred. He was honored to marry my sister and drove up from the South to marry her.

My best friend's family was invited to the wedding. They were staying at the hotel too. When we got back to my parent's room after swimming, my parents were entertaining her parents and the Priest, who had recently arrived. He was drinking a martini and smoking a cigarrete. My girlfriend's family was Methodist. (Her parents drank and smoked too, btw.) When we left the room, she commented on being surprised a priest was drinking and smoking. I replied, Catholics are allowed to drink, smoke and swear.

Anyway, back to your question. Catholics are less strict about drinking compared to many other Christian denominations, unless they are reborn-again Catholics, (which is a whole new trend that doesn't make sense to me, but that's another thread topic entirely). As a result, I'm not surprised in the least when I hear someone link alcoholism and Catholics together.

It's not that Catholics tend to be alcoholics. It's that people who are from other religions often link the two together. Then again, my father was an alcoholic. But he CONVERTED to Catholic when he married my mother. He was Presbyterian before he married her. And my girlfriend's Methodist father was an alcoholic too. But that had something to do with migraine headaches if I recall correctly.
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Old 08-08-2010, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,044 posts, read 83,895,248 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andthentherewere3 View Post
I agree with Whyte Byrd, talk to the father. And stay in contact with your niece as much as possible, lending her support.

I had to laugh at the OP's quote, though, "alcoholic/catholic". Do Catholics tend to be alcoholics?
I wondered about that, too. I don't think alcoholics in general have any religious preferences, lol.

I also agree with Whyte Byrd. You might also want to see that the daughter attends a few Ala-teen meetings or is educated about alcoholism so she knows it isn't her fault and doesn't believe that there was something she should have done to help or change the drunk.

The father is a total codependent, so don't count on him helping much in this situation.
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Old 08-08-2010, 11:30 AM
 
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That's an interesting story Hopes, thanks! I do know the non-denominational Reverend that married us was a recovering alcoholic. And my current Reverend (non-Catholic) is a light drinker. I never realized that some denominations might drink more than others. Interesting! I always thought the Catholic religion was strict, maybe not so much.
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Old 08-08-2010, 11:47 AM
 
4,471 posts, read 9,804,568 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andthentherewere3 View Post

I had to laugh at the OP's quote, though, "alcoholic/catholic". Do Catholics tend to be alcoholics?
IF you had to follow all those rules you'd need a drink too! I am Catholic just fyi
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Old 08-08-2010, 11:55 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,645,904 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
IF you had to follow all those rules you'd need a drink too! I am Catholic just fyi
Too funny! Yep! Lots of extra rules, none of which mention drinking. (btw, I was 'born' and raised Catholic too!)
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Old 08-08-2010, 12:09 PM
 
Location: In the AC
972 posts, read 2,434,691 times
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Hopes: We Methodists are more concerned with who is bring what casserole and which pie to the pot luck than we are with drinking.

OP: You are getting a lot of support on this thread. So, instead of repeating, I will offer one word of caution. Please tread lightly. A strong backlash could result in your having no contact at all with your neice.
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