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As a kid whenever I had a Dr's appointment my mom would lie to me about it. She'd say we were going to the store and then I'd be in the car and realize that this wasn't the way to the store. This made me really anxious and when I got to the Dr. I would start crying as soon as they put me on that examination table.
My brother had to get his tonsils out at 6 1/2 years old and she didn't tell him about it until he was in the hospital on the day of the operation. She got an earful from the nurse.
My husband's mother AND Dr. would tell him he wasn't getting a needle that day and then stick him with a needle when he wasn't looking. To this day he has a horrible needle phobia.
Just for reference I am 35 and he is 36. Was this a normal thing back then?
I have vowed to be different. I always tell my kids when they are going to the Dr, what is going to be done to them, if they are getting a shot etc. When they ask me if it will hurt I tell them yes it will but not much and it will be quick etc. I don't know if its a result of my approach or not but my 7 year old and 2 1/2 year old are not scared of the Dr. at all so far. They don't cry at all when the Dr. examines them. My 2 1/2 year old went for allergy testing and they did alot of those scratch tests. All she said was owwww each time but never cried. I am so proud of her.
My 10 month old cries because she does not understand yet but I intend to be honest with her as well about the Dr.
Opinions on this?My belief is that if you lie about going to the Dr. or you say a needle won't hurt or you tell your child it won't hurt etc then you are basically strengthening any phobia they are likely to develop. The child thinks "this must be really bad or mom wouldn't have lied to me about it. so it is something to be scared of.
I agree with you. You should be truthful with your children, especially concerning Dr.s and pain, death, etc. that directly affects them. Somethings of course are adult material and should be explained on an age appropriate level.
My parents never lied about things like that. Little white lies about unimportant things that was more story telling or wishful thinking. Like "when we move, Ill buy you a pony", Santa Clause and the Easter bunny.
My parents never lied to me about such things.
As a result, I've never been afraid of doctors, dentists etc...
I'm terrified of dentists and not too fond of Dr's and I already described how my mom lied to me. As a kid the dentist refused to work on me as he was afraid I owuld have a heart attack on the chair
My grandfather was my dentist so getting a dental cleaning was a treat. Mom never needed to lie. She just said we're going to see Papa in his office. I loved it when he'd sit me on the dentist chair, and lift the chair up, and move the back of the seat, and adjust the light so it shimmered so pretty, and the smell of eugenol, and the way he'd mix the powder with the glycerine, and being able to spit in the spitoon like a big girl...
I totally loved that stuff. And Nora the receptionist, who always pat my head and told me I was a good girl and let me pick a toy from the box. And the Highlights magazines in the waiting room and "W..K..C..I....one-oh-onnnnnnnnne..stereooooooo!" on the little box speaker nailed in the upper corner of the waiting room...
And sometimes Nora would let me come with her into the closet, which was converted into the film development room and I'd get to watch the x-rays of my own teeth get developed.
When visiting a doctor becomes an adventure, then a little pin-prick doesn't become a significant part of the plotline. I know I got novocaine shots from my grandfather, but that's not what I remember. I remember how he'd adjust my braces, and show me how to put the little wax balls on the ends of the metal so they wouldn't cut the inside of my cheek. And always, always, the smell of eugenol. When I had my bridge removed last year to replace it with a new one, the dentist I went to, used a particular tool - and memories of my grandfather tugging my braces off, finally after four years of wearing them, came flooding back. It was such an overwhelming emotional experience that I actually cried. And the dentist asked why and I told him because I missed my grandfather and he started crying too.
Make going to the doctor and adventure and don't stress about it on behalf of your child. When you stress, he'll stress.
I'm a bit shocked parents would lie about things like going to the doctor. [mod cut]
The only lie I remember was hillarious! While I was riding in the car with my father, I became very upset by the dead animals on the side of the road. I told him it was so sad they weren't being buried. He told me that there was a county position that took care of that. I asked him what the position was called and he said, "taxidermist."
Fast forward years later. In my early 20s, I had moved to a town surrounded by lots of rural areas. Rural areas have many more dead animals because the wildlife population is higher than in a metropolitan area. I was riding in the car with a bunch of friends, and I commented that the county taxidermist wasn't doing his job!
Yeah, 10 years later I found out my father lied to me. Oh, it was so funny! My friends and I had a great laugh! I wasn't upset. My father had a great sense of humor. I enjoyed that he could make me laugh even without being around years later. When I 'got' the joke, I laughed like I would have laughed if I had 'got' it at the time.
Last edited by mrstewart; 08-25-2010 at 08:05 AM..
Reason: Personal attacks
My husbands Grandmother lied to my MIL about the doctor when she was a kid. I think in the olden days parents just did that rather than deal with the kid having a fit the whole way.
My husbands Grandmother lied to my MIL about the doctor when she was a kid. I think in the olden days parents just did that rather than deal with the kid having a fit the whole way.
That is my mom's reasoning but this was in the 1980's not 1880's.
That is my mom's reasoning but this was in the 1980's not 1880's.
lol! I was talking about the 1950's-60's. !980's aren't too far off.
My parents didn't lie to me and I am phobic of the dentist. I hate it! AND....I have to go today! lucky me!
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