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Well I worry about my son being nerdy, small and being bullied. He is very sensitive and not like your typical rough/tumble boy. That really concerns me especially in this day and age of bullying on all levels (phones, internet and in person).
As far as gay-wouldn't bother me in the least with the exception of the bullying or getting picked on. I have several friends that are gay and lesbian and seem to be quite successful and happy.
I agree. I honestly wouldn't care if my son/daughter turned out to be gay, but I would be fearful of the fact that they might get picked on.
My son is only 2. But, I'm genuinely fearful that he'll be gay. I'm fearful of a lot of things... maybe he'll be a serial killer, maybe he'll be an alcoholic... etc. But my fear of him being gay is just odd, I think. I mean really, would it change anything? No, not really. Would it be a problem for me if he was gay? No. But I still worry about it. Is that weird? Although I have no problem with gays, does this make me homophobic? Haha, I think so.
Anyway, any thoughts? Is this kind of fear normal for a dad? And am I allowed to have this fear?
Thanks
If you don't get your worries under control, you are going to drive your son nuts as he is growing up. He is gonna turn into a gay, alcoholic serial killer. Get your fears under control!
Gosh and I am worried my 5 year old will never learn how to tie her shoes or like vegetables....
I don't know which of us is crazier. I mean, rationally, if ya think about it, mental/emotional issues are somewhat genetic, so a real worry and something you can't do much about. Drug use, again, something you as a parent can't really control. I haven't met an adult yet that can't tie their shoes or doesn't eat a single veggie
So who's worse, me for worrying about things out of my control, or you for worrying about things that are inevitable?
So who's worse, me for worrying about things out of my control, or you for worrying about things that are inevitable?
You're both wasting your time.
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It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there's nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.
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Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere.
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Worry is a complete cycle of inefficient thought revolving about a pivot of fear.
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The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
My son is only 2. But, I'm genuinely fearful that he'll be gay. I'm fearful of a lot of things... maybe he'll be a serial killer, maybe he'll be an alcoholic... etc. But my fear of him being gay is just odd, I think. I mean really, would it change anything? No, not really. Would it be a problem for me if he was gay? No. But I still worry about it. Is that weird? Although I have no problem with gays, does this make me homophobic? Haha, I think so.
Anyway, any thoughts? Is this kind of fear normal for a dad? And am I allowed to have this fear?
Thanks
There are very helpful medications now for people with this much anxiety.
Please do see a doctor soon, before you make your son as neurotic as you are.
Your entire post is fantastic idealism, but just that. Just because you know a concept doesn't mean you can apply it, especially when it concerns the workings of the mind and emotions.
I wouldn't worry about it. After all, if he IS gay you can't change him. All you can do is love him and accept him.
Maybe your fear is irrational, or maybe not. Sometime's a mom's intuition picks up on these things very early.
I have a friend whose daughter has been dressing like a boy since she was a toddler. She's also referred to herself as a boy since she learned to talk.
She's 11 now and pretty much lives her life as a boy. She's been through extensive counseling and her therapist believes she's transgendered.
It was hard for my friend to deal with at first because she's a total girlie girl, the type of woman who has 100 pairs of shoes, gets her nails done every Saturday, etc. But, at this point she's come to accept her daughter and says she'll support her if she want to have a sex-change operation once she's 18.
Your entire post is fantastic idealism, but just that. Just because you know a concept doesn't mean you can apply it, especially when it concerns the workings of the mind and emotions.
No problem has ever been solved or averted by worrying. But you go ahead and worry anyway. I just have better things to do.
To be honest, this thought has also crossed my mind. I have one son and I would prefer that he not be gay. Would also feel hugely disappointed if he decides to live his life as a transsexual.
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