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Honestly, people put too much confidence in CPS and I can tell you I have absolutely zero faith in them. I understand the need to help this boy, but once CS is involved in your life you are either forever an abuser even if there is no proof. Also, you don't think the mother isn't gonna go off on this kid when CS leaves her house? It's a no win situation, but I think there's more room to reach the mother by a letter or someone talking to her.
We get it. You don't like CPS.
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzie02
Kids are abused every day and people stand by doing nothing. I would try to do something.
I have been a foster mom and sometimes having their kids taken away is the wake up call some mothers need to straighten out..
I totally agree. Doing nothing would not be an option for me.
Where I used to live there was a charity program that assisted 'overwhelmed' families. Exchange Club - Program Listing Maybe there is a similar organization in your area that you could contact?
Best case scenario, the mother needs some intensive anger management therapy. Even if(big if) there's no physical abuse, the child is being verbally abused. That alone warrants the intervention of CPS. Verbal abuse can be every bit as damaging. The child will grow up with some serious emotional scars, depression, manic, etc.
I like the idea someone said about trying to record the outbursts if you can. That way there is proof of what the lady is doing to that poor child.
I don't think the letter is a good idea. It will just tip her off that others can hear what's going on. As for the sound you hear (the series of slaps).... Who in their right mind SLAPS a 2 or 3 year old child?!??!! Multiple times, no less!!!
I wish you knew people on her floor so you could get a better insight.
Ive been following this thread all day. Need to weigh in now. Writing the letter/contacting the apartment manager= bad ideas. This woman will feel attacked, it will worsen the situation. She is obviously lacking the coping skills necessary to parent this child without feeling unduly frustrated several times a day, and reacting in anger. Your intervention now could change both their lives, you need to realize that. She needs support, parenting classes, anger management classes, and the child needs someone officially monitoring his welfare. He is young, and if there isnt intervention early, he will grow up to pattern this behavior himself, with his own children, and so on.
I have reported suspected child abuse before, I know how you feel. But doing nothing wasnt an option for me, I could not take what I was hearing anymore. For what its worth, it did help the situation greatly.
Not sure if CPS would do too much...I was sitting in the pediatrician's office the other day and a mother was terribly agitated at the amount of time she had been waiting and her daughter was fidgety...the mother told her daughter to "shut the 'f' up" but said the entire thing.
I told the pediatrician and she said "Are you sure she said that? What do you want me to do about it? Call CPS? Believe me, CPS won't do a thing unless there are at least 3 calls"...I was SHOCKED, to say the least!
What is wrong with some of you? Clearly you have nothing to do besides try to get others hung. I'm glad I'm not YOUR neighbor.
Has it occurred to you, OP, to just have a conversation with the mother as a neighbor, and get a feel for where she is in her life? You don't know what stresses she has. Sometimes just a friendly conversation helps when things are so overwhelming that we snap at our children.
We lived in an apartment building when my youngest daughter was a baby. She would start to cry, then forget why she was crying and carry on for a half hour sometimes. Scream at the top of her lungs. I did everything I could to get her to stop, but she's a different kind of person. More than once, I unfrayed and shouted at her to shut up (3X to be exact).
My point: I loved my baby and took devoted care of her. The stress in my life at that time was horrendous and there was no one to let it out on, so I shouted a few times. A neighbor, who was jealous because she wanted a baby but couldn't because of health reasons, called CPS. They never called, but my name is in their system to this day. My daughter is 16, almost 17.
Please don't make trouble for this mother and child. If you can't bring yourself to have a conversation, just so she isn't all alone with no kindness, then maybe you could call a nearby church and ask for someone to stop by and chat with her, telling them she may need a friend.
You'd be surprised how much easier it is to have patience when there is another grownup to communicate with. Little kids are a lot of fun and wonderful, but sometimes we adults need another adult to talk to, and not even about problems, but just light, friendly conversation. Makes a world of difference.
What is wrong with some of you? Clearly you have nothing to do besides try to get others hung. I'm glad I'm not YOUR neighbor.
Has it occurred to you, OP, to just have a conversation with the mother as a neighbor, and get a feel for where she is in her life? You don't know what stresses she has. Sometimes just a friendly conversation helps when things are so overwhelming that we snap at our children.
We lived in an apartment building when my youngest daughter was a baby. She would start to cry, then forget why she was crying and carry on for a half hour sometimes. Scream at the top of her lungs. I did everything I could to get her to stop, but she's a different kind of person. More than once, I unfrayed and shouted at her to shut up (3X to be exact).
My point: I loved my baby and took devoted care of her. The stress in my life at that time was horrendous and there was no one to let it out on, so I shouted a few times. A neighbor, who was jealous because she wanted a baby but couldn't because of health reasons, called CPS. They never called, but my name is in their system to this day. My daughter is 16, almost 17.
Please don't make trouble for this mother and child. If you can't bring yourself to have a conversation, just so she isn't all alone with no kindness, then maybe you could call a nearby church and ask for someone to stop by and chat with her, telling them she may need a friend.
You'd be surprised how much easier it is to have patience when there is another grownup to communicate with. Little kids are a lot of fun and wonderful, but sometimes we adults need another adult to talk to, and not even about problems, but just light, friendly conversation. Makes a world of difference.
You have some great points! Perhaps the child has health issues and is very unhappy and uncomfortable...my son screamed, it seemed incessantly, for the first 13 months of his life and it turned out he had a medical issue that required surgery! He was fine after that!
Not sure if CPS would do too much...I was sitting in the pediatrician's office the other day and a mother was terribly agitated at the amount of time she had been waiting and her daughter was fidgety...the mother told her daughter to "shut the 'f' up" but said the entire thing.
I told the pediatrician and she said "Are you sure she said that? What do you want me to do about it? Call CPS? Believe me, CPS won't do a thing unless there are at least 3 calls"...I was SHOCKED, to say the least!
Why would you have the need to tell the pediatrician about a mother snapping at her child? Are you so sensitive that you couldn't understand she was probably frustrated from having to sit there that long?
Why do people feel they need to butt into other's lives without having the slightest notion of what is going on? Running and telling at the first sign of frustration is why things are so messed up these days. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LET PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF THEIRS.
When I was in elementary school, we all went outside and there were no adults. The teachers (Aides hadn't been invented yet, nor were they needed.) used to get after us for running in to tattle. If the problem was serious and real, we were allowed, but just to tattle, we had to stay outside and mind our own business. If the problem was ours, we learned how to settle it between us.
For some reason, busybody adults have a need to tattle on every little thing they hear or see. We aren't allowed to have a bad day, or raise our kids how we see fit because SOMEONE is always watching for that little harsh word or a swat on the bottom so they can run and tattle to the authorities, like you have NEVER done anything like tell your child to be quiet when you were both tired and frustrated.
I told the pediatrician because the woman said "shut the f*** up!" to her 4 year old daughter...by any standard, this is considered inappropriate. The Merck diagnostic manual even considers cursing at a child as verbal abuse...
My concern was if this woman was so bold to curse at her child in public I would be mortified to hear what she says to her child in private. The child is only 4 years old.
My husband is in the medical field and he is required by law to report behavior such as this mothers if he witnesses it...that is in Virginia and I am not sure about other areas.
If everyone ignores what is going on several children would fall through the cracks.
And, no, I have NEVER cursed at my children...NEVER. There is no reason to curse at anyone, especially your own child. In my opinion, cursing shows a lack of adequate vocabulary skills and lack of self control.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses
Why would have the need to tell the pediatrician about a mother snapping at her child? Are you so sensitive that you couldn't understand she was probably frustrated from having to sit there that long?
Why do people feel they need to butt into other's lives without having the slightest notion of what is going on? Running and telling at the first sign of frustration is why things are so messed up these days. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LET PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF THEIRS.
When I was in elementary school, we all went outside and there were no adults. The teachers (Aides hadn't been invented yet, nor were they needed.) used to get after us for running in to tattle. If the problem was serious and real, we were allowed, but just to tattle, we had to stay outside and mind our own business. If the problem was ours, we learned how to settle it between us.
For some reason, busybody adults have a need to tattle on every little thing they hear or see. We aren't allowed to have a bad day, or raise our kids how we see fit because SOMEONE is always watching for that little harsh word or a swat on the bottom so they can run and tattle to the authorities, like you have NEVER done anything like tell your child to be quiet when you were both tired and frustrated.
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