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Old 09-15-2010, 06:35 AM
 
Location: In a house
13,250 posts, read 42,668,791 times
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I was born to a Jewish mother, therefore by birthright, I'm Jewish. No amount of "other" teaching, or choice to not believe, will change that fact. I could even get baptized a card-carrying baptist - and according to Jewish law, I'd still be Jewish. Thankfully, I was also raised Jewish, so I didn't have to grow up being thoroughly confused about that.

Once I was old enough to understand differences between religions, that "the rest of the world isn't necessarily all Jewish," I asked questions, and was directed to people of other faiths to answer them. I was a member of a Methodist youth group for awhile, I'd been inside a Catholic church and wondered at the stained glass and cathedral ceilings and pipe organ and the "feeling" of religion in the building. I didn't have to believe in Christ to appreciate that feeling.

My husband's mother was a Marian Catholic, and father was also Catholic, and he was raised that way, and went to Catholic school from K-12. He has a vague belief in the general concepts of Catholicism but is non-practicing.

People can choose when they're adults. If you are comfortable with your own religion, it's good to raise your kids with the same religion, because it gives them a more fluid sense of community and fellowship. Whether they choose to believe the dogma is another matter entirely, but the general idea of having "faith in something" and knowing that all those people share that with you, can be a comforting thing when you're growing up.
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:24 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,730,313 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Occam's Bikini Wax View Post
Oh brother. Everyone is born an atheist (and please learn to spell it if you're going to diss it).
Funny. I spelled it both ways in this thread. One of the Atheists in this thread doesn't know how to spell it. I didn't point it out to her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Occam's Bikini Wax View Post
Children have to be taught to believe in god and follow a religion, they don't have to be taught to be atheists.

And no, smart kids who are taught to think for themselves will have very few questions about gods and religions, because even a child can use logical thinking and see just how foolish those things really are.
I never discussed "God" with my children, but they started to ask about "God" around 4 years old----"Who's God?"

(Even smart four year olds aren't logical. )

If your response to their question is a negative "There is no God" or any other "spin" on your belief then you're teaching your children atheism.
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:55 AM
 
Location: Swisshelm Park, Pittsburgh, PA
356 posts, read 913,505 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post

I KNOW the meanings of Christmas and Easter.
But we never celebrated them in the traditional sense in my family.
Christmas was/is just always the time we exchanged gifts and Easter was just the time we got some candy in an Easter egg basket.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Occam's Bikini Wax View Post
Oh brother. Everyone is born an atheist (and please learn to spell it if you're going to diss it). Children have to be taught to believe in god and follow a religion, they don't have to be taught to be atheists.
My mother was raised Catholic and my father Methodist but neither was religious as an adult. My brother and I were raised in a vaguely Christian tradition (we celebrated Easter and Christmas and were read associated the bible stories, prayed before dinner and sometimes before bed as little children) but were raised without church or faith.

So consistent with the poster above - we are both agnostic and/ or atheist..but we are both married to Catholics and are raising our kids to be Catholic.

One of the reasons why is because we want our children to be able to choose whether or not religion/ faith will be important to them when they are grown. We both feel that we don't have Faith and cannot have Faith because we were not taught it as children. We do not perceive this as a shortcoming of our parents and we believe that it is possible to be good, happy adults without Faith, but we have also both seen that Faith can be a great source of strength and comfort to some people and church can be a good source of community and we want our children to have that option. Of course, this also makes our spouses happy.

As far as raising our kids Catholic, my husband and I are taking each stage as it comes. Currently, our daughter goes to Catholic school, both for religious and school quality reasons. We go to church as a family only on the days that the children's program is held because it is hard for my preschool-age son to behave for the entire mass otherwise. I think after my daughter does first Holy Communion next year, we will start going every week or her dad will take her every week.
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Old 09-15-2010, 08:08 AM
 
16,579 posts, read 20,631,621 times
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I'm Catholic and my husband is an atheist. I took my daughter to the Catholic church for a couple of years and she received the sacraments of reconcilation and first communion. We went for a while after that, but now haven't been for a couple of years. I got so put out at the last round of priest abuse and also at the political rhetoric coming out of the Catholic church during the last election cycle that I lost interest in going. I miss it though and keep telling myself I'm going to go back.

My daughter will resist going with me, I'm sure, if I start to go back. Not sure what I'll do about that. She's had an introduction to religion and knows what her dad and I believe. I want her to have some information to make choices with later.
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Old 09-15-2010, 08:19 AM
 
Location: Denver
4,564 posts, read 10,932,843 times
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I was raised going to a church that I now consider borderline cult. Unbelievably strict environment. Very fear based. It was actually a very big worldwide church back in the day and even had two college campuses. My degree is in Theology.

Now? My husband (who grew up the same way) and I saw the light when the church leaders suddenly started making a lot of changes - "reinterpreting" the bible, and much of what we knew growing up was suddenly different. Seemed convenient to get more people into the church.

I had always quested everything, but at that point, I finally "got it" and we broke ties. That's been about 15 years ago or so. I now consider myself an atheist.

I'm not going to deny that our son has our same beliefs. It's inevitable growing up in our household. But we've always told him that it would be a good idea to give the bible a read - it does have some good stories.

We have always been very adamant regarding being respectful of what others believe. Which is incredibly important no matter what you, yourself feel.
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Old 09-15-2010, 08:51 AM
 
3,004 posts, read 3,875,868 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
I am not going deep into this as not to offend anyone. Religion is supposed to be a choice,,,,because if not you are not following it for yourself and don't trully comprehend it.
Of course religious belief is a choice -- FOR ADULTS!! Children don't follow anything of their own accord, nor do they comprehend complex philosophical ideas, which is what religion is all about. Children take their lead from the adult caretakers in their life. That is what they are capable of developmentally. They need the security of knowing that someone has the answers in as far as their little lives go.

You don't give a child a choice about whether to have sex at age 10. Why on earth would you give them a choice about what faith to practice? It makes no sense. Some children will be more inquisitive than others but in general adolescence is a good time for a child to begin to think for himself and make faith decisions on his own.
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Old 09-15-2010, 09:11 AM
 
623 posts, read 1,599,083 times
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It surprises me that many people say they want their kids to decide when they get older if religion is a choice they want to make. Do you no realize that your children look to their parents to figure out whats important in life. If you don't hold religion as a high value in your home then your children more than likely will see no value in it later in life.

Why is it that many of you see it this way? Do you hold the same mentality on other things such as drugs, sex, money. When they get older will you let them decide it they want do that. Or do you teach them the importance of those things.

If you see no value religion thats fine bet don't pretend that your kids will be able to make an unbiased choice when they have been brought up to believe its just a bunch of nonsense.

Remember that most of the time we are who are parents are. Some of us can become different but most of us live our lives with the values we were brought up with.
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Old 09-15-2010, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Oxford, Connecticut
526 posts, read 999,456 times
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I grew up in a Reform Jewish household. I did Hebrew school and Saturday school up until my Bat Mitzvah at 13. Then Confirmation education started and we had years of studying world religions,world culture, and from a variety of perspectives- including atheism. It was endless lectures and papers. All quite interesting to me. Later on I chose to be confirmed as a Jew. Most in my class did - some chose to wait and learn more and in many ways we are all still learning.

My husband grew up with no formal religion in his life although his family is Catholic. Cuturally we celebrate both religion's holidays with our children because the cultural aspects were part of both of our lives growing up. Religiously we celebrate Jewish holidays but take care to explore and learn about many cultures and religions.
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Old 09-15-2010, 09:31 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,846,494 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chattypatty View Post
Of course religious belief is a choice -- FOR ADULTS!! Children don't follow anything of their own accord, nor do they comprehend complex philosophical ideas, which is what religion is all about. Children take their lead from the adult caretakers in their life. That is what they are capable of developmentally. They need the security of knowing that someone has the answers in as far as their little lives go.

You don't give a child a choice about whether to have sex at age 10. Why on earth would you give them a choice about what faith to practice? It makes no sense. Some children will be more inquisitive than others but in general adolescence is a good time for a child to begin to think for himself and make faith decisions on his own.

Because you only get them to believe for you. Meaning they don't and a lot of times can't appreciate the faith if it's only something you make them do. Often you will see kids forced give up on religion later in life because to them it was nothing but a chore. So it is a choice for adults....and not for children. But that doesn't mean you should slam the idea home that they have no choice but to be so in your family either. Not that i am saying taking your kids to church to experience your religion is not a good idea because it is always good. But the very nature of christs teaching shun forced belief.
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Old 09-15-2010, 09:31 AM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,995,814 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
My faith in my beliefs is just fine thank your very much. Spirituality is an adult decsicion i believe, so you are no more equiped to make that descion then they are. I don't find it wasting energy...i take them to different hosues of worship....and answer their questions.
Didn't mean to offend.

But if my wife and I spend our Sundays driving around to various houses of worship to satisfy the whims du jour of our children, then that is time we cannot spend connecting with our own community of faith.

What's more, I would offer merely showing up for one service and then moving on to the next denomination really does a disservice to both the child and the congregation you just visited. Because every belief system carries its own set of beliefs that doesn't necessarily emerge in the course of a single worship service.

After all, the liturgies of the Catholics, Lutherans, and Episcopalians are very similar in nature, but the belief systems are quite different. These differences would almost certainly not manifest themselves in the course of a one-hour mass. So then one's religious choices might be made for the most superficial of reasons.
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