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Oh, they're definiately different now. You just wait. You'll see.
You've never seen a boy upset over girls just wanting sex because you haven't been a mother of a teenage son yet.
I don't think my son is rare. Momma Bear's son has the same problem.
I'm sure at some point they gladly had sex with girls, but eventually they realized the girls weren't interested in them for relationships.
And it hurts their feelings because they really like a girl and want her to be their girlfriend, but she only wanted him for sex.
It's like the genders have switched roles.
My son is not unusual. He wants a girlfriend. He wants someone to go to the movies with him. He wants a girl to come to the house and hang out with him. I am sure he would gladly have sex with the right girl but he doesn't want to have sex JUST to have sex.
I am sure there are some boys who tell their parents what they want to hear. However, my recent experience with my son had him coming to me asking me why this girl was doing this to him. I didn't initiate the conversation, he did.
He is extremely upset at being used to boost someone's social status. He says he wants a real girlfriend.
Same here. I didn't initiate conversation. My son came to me because he was hurt and heartbroken.
He spilled his entire soul before I even said a word. I didn't influence his feelings whatsoever. I felt so badly for him.
There is nothing about the way I raised him that would cause him to think I needed to hear that spin for any reason.
Thanks for posting in this thread, Momma Bear. It's nice to know that I am not the only mother with a teenage son struggling with this.
To get back to the OP's question. I don't think there is a "one size fits all" answer. Depends on the child, the age ("teen" runs anywhere from 13 - 19...my response would be quite different for a 13 yo than a 17 or 19 yo) and the situation.
I agree with this statement. I would be much more concerned if a 13 year old said he was ready for sex vs. a 17-19 year old. I don't expect my kids to wait until they are married for sex, but I do expect that they will be emotionally attched to the person.
My son is not unusual. He wants a girlfriend. He wants someone to go to the movies with him. He wants a girl to come to the house and hang out with him. I am sure he would gladly have sex with the right girl but he doesn't want to have sex JUST to have sex.
He's 16, turning 17 in Feb.
I, too, have a 16 year old son.
And, to be honest, the thought of him having a truly serious relationship at that age worries me. Everyone know that teenage boys aren't the best decision makers when it comes to alot of things, and relationships are no exception. But, that's just my $0.02
My son is not unusual. He wants a girlfriend. He wants someone to go to the movies with him. He wants a girl to come to the house and hang out with him. I am sure he would gladly have sex with the right girl but he doesn't want to have sex JUST to have sex.
He's 16, turning 17 in Feb.
I hear you. Mine is almost 19. He wants the same things your son wants. I don't think they are unusual either.
I do know that my son has had sex with quite a few girls before he realized they were using him for sex.
He was heartbroken. That's when he decided he didn't want to have sex, just for sex. He wants a real relationship with a real girlfriend.
He was about your son's age when this happened---around 16 or 17---and he still doesn't want to have sex, JUST for sex.
And, to be honest, the thought of him having a truly serious relationship at that age worries me. Everyone know that teenage boys aren't the best decision makers when it comes to alot of things, and relationships are no exception. But, that's just my $0.02
When mine was younger, I feared that too.
The last thing I wanted was a heartbroken teenager (girl or boy) depressed over a breakup of a serious relationship.
But I ended up with a heartbroken teenager anyway!
So what do you do in that situation? Do you show them bc methods and take them out to get them. Do you say OH HEEEELLL NOOO and lock them in a closet? Or do you just say "thats nice honey just clean up when you are done"?
Assuming that they were able to read and view pictures, I'd go out here on the net and gather every statistic that I could find,
relating to the growing problem of Socially Transmitted Diseases among teens and also find the most graphic of images of those who
have been physically ravaged by the effects of STD. Sometimes the facts will tend to get through when a focus upon morality seems
to fail. A picture is worth 10,000 words and It serves a purpose to shock an impressionable teen into applying a bit of reasoning to their
desire to start a sexual relationship, before their time has come. The orgasm is for but a moment, Herpes is for a lifetime...
My son is not unusual. He wants a girlfriend. He wants someone to go to the movies with him. He wants a girl to come to the house and hang out with him. I am sure he would gladly have sex with the right girl but he doesn't want to have sex JUST to have sex.
He's 16, turning 17 in Feb.
I have a 20 year old who feels the same way. He had a bad experience with a hellion of a girl when he was 17, his first steady gf, who pushed him in directions he wasn't ready to go and has been gun shy ever since. He recently had a girl ask him if there was something wrong because he didn't try to get physical on their first and only date.
I have an aggressive daughter and a passive son and it's been a ride, let me tell you.
Oh, they're definiately different now. You just wait. You'll see.
You've never seen a boy upset over girls just wanting sex because you haven't been a mother of a teenage son yet.
I waited tables at a family restraint up until about 2 years ago for extra money and am well aware of what they are like. And while they are more aggressive i was referring to the belief that someone girls were more pure in days past in regards to having sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
I don't think my son is rare. Momma Bear's son has the same problem.
I'm sure at some point they gladly had sex with girls, but eventually they realized the girls weren't interested in them for relationships.
And it hurts their feelings because they really like a girl and want her to be their girlfriend, but she only wanted him for sex.
It's like the genders have switched roles.
I don't know i am only going by experiences of having a decent amount of male friends in college and hs and male relatives and don't ever remember any of them crying over a girl wanting to have sex over a gf.
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