how to tell a parent their child is not working out? (babies, appropriate)

[WhereTheSidewalkEnds]

Originally Posted by kahskye

Don't worry about upsetting the parents. They'll be the first one coming after you w/ a lawsuit if their child is injured.

This exactly what I was going to say. Something bad happens and they will be questioning why you didn't use better judgment when it came to the safety of their child since it's your job to know what is and isn't safe. I don't understand how a parent is even being allowed to set a screaming child onto one of your horses.

Are these really lessons or just pony rides? Is it a one time thing or pony rides where you are leading the horse as a sort of "lesson" to get used to horses?

This is YOUR lively hood - so there shouldn't be any exceptions in my opinion. There is no need to "tell a parent they are pushing their child to do something the child has no interest in". You just need to have very strict rules about how a child acts when they get on a horse. If they are acting in such a manner that is not safe, they don't get on. End of story.

[reebo]

While I understand you don't want to scare people away or develop a reputation for being difficult, you do want to cultivate a reputation for safety, both for the horses and students. At the barn where we ride there are several forms a parent has to fill out and sign; a liability form and a barn policy form. The barn policy form details late policy, skipped lessons policy, 30 day cancellation policy, etc. If you don't have one already, write one and put in your policy on maturity and age. Have the parents sign it so if it becomes an issue, you can whip it out. I can't think of anything more counterproductive than trying to "teach" a crying child. Dangerous for everyone.

[lmabernathy]

just to clarify, the screaming children are at pony parties (birthday parties) I am leading the horse and there is also a side walker but you would not believe how many parents will throw their crying child on a horse "just for a picture" usually while I am still working with another child-helping them with a helmet for example. The horse I use for parties is extremely quiet, he has even had an airplane land 20ft from him before, I'm not really worried about my horse persay but more the next horse they come in contact with. Because I realize my horse is worth his weight in gold and he is also 23 year old but he is very few and far between!

I do make everyone sign a waiver for lessons or parties, trying horses to buy, ect.

If you think this sounds bad you should see some of the things people do when looking for a horse to buy. I had one parent let her child ride a tricycle directly behind a horse, I mean who brings their kids tricycle with them to go horse shopping anyway???

I realize I am too nice, I don't want to offend people by telling them they are crazy and how their child made it to the age of 5 is beyond me, but serious even as I type this out, I realize that is def. the case sometimes.

I just wonder where common sense has gone? I know I don't have kids and I do know about horses but who thinks that's ok?

[Hopes]

I'd stop doing pony rides for 5 year olds and make the age cut off higher.

Add a height requirement to avoid the parents who lie about their children's ages, like amsuement park rides have height requirements.

[lmabernathy]

Yeah I think 8 is a better age. I have a really hard time finding saddles small enough for 5 year old too. Thanks for your help guys, I just needed some other perspectives, horse people see the same things all the time so you can lose sight of the forest because of the trees ;-)

[aidxen]

You need advice from a ballet teacher. There is nothing a parent fears more than the ballet teacher.

[Eresh]

I would increase the minimum age for lessons. Personally, I won't let my daughter start taking lessons until she is big enough to groom and tack up the horse (pony) herself AND cool down/un-tack after. She is only 4 now, so I have a while (assuming she still wants lesson by then). When she's ready, I will look for an instructor who teaches grooming and tacking up first.

As for the pony rides, I would also be very firm with the parents and not worry about your reputation. Actually, gaining a reputation for putting safety above making a buck might help get you a more sensible clientele.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by lmabernathy

Hello parents,

First off, I am not a parent. I teach horseback riding lessons and would like some advice.

I will not teach children under the age of 5. Children that young do not have the attention span or the physical strength to control a horse by themselves. A pony ride where I am leading the horse is different. The child only has to sit there, and even then you wouldn't believe how many want to jump off when they are done or scream and yell because they are scared. I will not put a child on a horse that is screaming, but their own parents will-how do you explain to people that they are totally disregarding their childs safety by doing this? Keep in mind I have to do this quickly while leading/holding a horse and a parent shoving their screaming child on top.

I would like to note I use very suitable horses that are not bothered by childrens behavior, but anything could happen and I'm worried that if I pi** parents off, they are just going to find another place who may not have the exceptionally well behaved horses that I have.

Also, many times parents fib about how old there kids are, so I will teach them. How do I explain to people horses are not toys, or cars, or stuffed animals. They are 1000lb animals with a mind of their own and if your child throws a tantrum kicking and screaming, they are telling the horse (with cues he is trained to listen to) to run! Now granted, these are usually parents who wanted to ride when they were young but now their child has no interest in it. As someone without children I do not want to bash someone elses parenting skills, but if the kid doesn't want to do it then it can be dangerous especially if your child doesn't listen to me.

Please don't get me wrong, some kids love horses (I did-and now its my career) and will do anything to be around them and those kids are a joy to teach. My main problem is how do you tell a parent they are pushing their child to do something they have no interest in?

I think you should change the way you do your lessons to something more comprehensive. I don't believe kids should just be put on a horse's back and start riding but that lessons should include brushing and grooming the horse, how to approach a horse, how to lead it with a rope, pick up the feet to check for stones.

Riding a horse requires understanding the nature of a horse, and respect. The kids should learn plenty of respect for the horse before they get on to ride. But also they should learn how to control the horse from the ground.

Then you could have your lesson plans accordingly, and make sure the parents know the expectations before the child "graduates" to riding.

[icibiu]

I have to agree with NJ GOAT about some type of introductory period for regular lessons with 1 or 2 of the first classes being based more on getting to know the horse and how to care for the horse. The last 10 minutes of the second class can be sitting on the horse first time, it will seem more like a reward and by then child will not be as scared of the horse. Let parents know up front that if their child begins crying, screaming or kicking when they first mount they will be taken off and given the option to take two more intro classes or leave the program.

As for pony parties I would suggest making up a sign that you put near the line saying "For your childrens safety any upset children will be dismounted immediately".

You seem like the type of person who is reluctant to tell people "no" so I would suggest making your party line "For insurance purposes you can't XYZ."

[sandycat]

My daughter started lessons pretty much on her 6th birthday. She's been obsessed with horses since day one and hasn't stopped. I was watching her ride the other day, and the instructor said that she has never had a child that young be able to listen so well to instruction and to actually do what she says. So with that being said, I think that there are no hard and fast rules to age. Some kids can, some can't. BUT it becomes a liability thing with horses, so an introductory period would be good. My son comes to the barn at times, and he knows that he can't run around the horses, and I make sure he doesn't stand behind a horse. They are huge animals. Parents can be pretty stupid when it comes to safety, you really have to let them know what is allowed and not allowed at the barn. You don't want a horse/small child accident.