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I don't recall ever believing in the tooth fairy. I know I was in kindergarten when I found out about Santa, so I don't really have any Santa memories either. I'm not sure how I will confront some of these things. We don't want to lie to our children flat out like that. Now, we may do something about Saint Nicholas, you know the real guy.
Guess there are no surprise parties in their immediate future then.
I do not think that kids asking always means they are ready to be told the whole "truth". My kids started asking at pretty young ages, and part of the reason I did not want to tell them at that time was because I was pretty sure they would tell all the kids at school (when I was about 5, I told all the kids on my street and they were not too happy with me!).
I don't recall ever believing in the tooth fairy. I know I was in kindergarten when I found out about Santa, so I don't really have any Santa memories either. I'm not sure how I will confront some of these things. We don't want to lie to our children flat out like that. Now, we may do something about Saint Nicholas, you know the real guy.
What if your children want to have the imagination to believe in it for awhile?
Why take from children what they enjoy just b/c "you" don't recall the experience?
I'm a girl & never played Batman, but I have boys who are dressed up outside right now playing it...not going out there & telling them how none of it is real!
There comes a time & point where the "truth" about such things is appropriate, but to squelch it all from day one...honestly, that is pure selfishness & a disservice on the part of the parent. It's called imagination.
And to equate lying and the tooth fairy...it is not the same. If your 13yr old is forced to believe that a magical fairy puts money under a pillow that is one thing. If your 5yr old loses his first tooth & you immediately say "No such thing as the tooth fairy. It's mommy & daddy!!"...you are taking away imaginations and dreams from young children.
I have 5 kids, ranging from high school to later elementary. We've handled it by not saying much until they ask questions, and then giving answers appropriate for their age. We've tried to never tell outright lies. When little ones asked if Santa was real, we'd say he's a very real spirit that inspires everyone to give and care for each other--that was good enough for them--they took it literally. As they got older (usually 4th or 5th grade) they started asking more specific questions, and we had to elaborate more. If they asked if we put the presents under the tree, we said yes. They were good with that. I still have one left who believes, but I think his days are numbered. Surprisingly enough, his older brothers are the ones who don't want us to tell him--they love still having a big Santa surprise on Christmas morning. I explained to them that we can still do that no matter what--we still give gifts from Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny to the older kids, and we'll probably continue for the rest of their lives
I still remember asking my Mom about the Easter Bunny and how horrified I was when she told me that it was really my parents. I was so sure she would say "Of course, he is real!". With my kids we have told them that Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy stops coming after age 12. The reason it is such an old age is that we have a lot of years between siblings and we didn't want them to wonder why their siblings weren't getting anything. When they have asked me I have told them that Santa, etc. only comes to those who believe in him and this has stopped them from asking further. I feel very little guilt about this and anticipate all will be forgiven when my youngest is older (it worked with her older siblings).
And a note on top of the "If you don't believe in Santa he don't bring you anything..." The rule in my house is if you "hunt" for "it" before Christmas and find "it" I will promptly return "it", whatever "it" is.
I keep the presents put away but that is still my rule. When my oldest was 7 or 8, she had been bugging me about opening presents early. She bugged me for DAYS. I kept telling her no, no, no. She caught me busy with little sister and found them and opened 2. I took the 2 back that she opened. She knew I didn't want her to bother them. After that NO ONE looked for presents.
Just my rules....
My daughter has asked me several times if the tooth fairy is real. I don't answer her directly; I ask her what she believes. She used to say "I think she is real" but she recently said "I think she might be real, but I think it might be that the parents put the money under the pillow." I said "that seems like a good possibility." But she didn't ask me to be more direct about it, and I take that as she still wants to play the game. Sometimes kids need to get places on their own.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mb1547
...We've handled it by not saying much until they ask questions, and then giving answers appropriate for their age. We've tried to never tell outright lies. When little ones asked if Santa was real, we'd say he's a very real spirit that inspires everyone to give and care for each other--that was good enough for them--they took it literally. As they got older ... they started asking more specific questions, and we had to elaborate more. If they asked if we put the presents under the tree, we said yes. They were good with that.
Pretty much this. I think believing in a little "magic" is a fun and special part of childhood but when mine were old enough to ask directly and specifically, I did not lie to them.
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