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I have a 15yr old daughter and she is so totally clueless when it comes socially, and in self hyigene. As in I have to tell her each day to brush her teeth, brush her hair, wash her face. If I dont, she wont do these things. She will walk around with nasty stuff on her teeth, a dirty face, and hair a tangled mess. We've tried charts, bribes, threats, Dr visits, you name it. sigh. I thought teenage girls were supposed to be all wrapped up in themselves and their looks. Now grant you, I was never into the makeup/hair styling, but theres no way I would have ever even THOUGHT about going in public w/o doing the basics. My daughter, she could go a WEEK w/o doing any of them and not think twice.
The other part to this, is she is socially clueless. While her classmates are going on about boys, she is going on about how HOT Harry Potter is. Or about how much she is in love with Jacob from Twilight. She got really into the James Patterson Max series and so she goes around with her self proclaimed nickname of Max and is obsessed with that and all the charicters that go with it.
Now grant you, she was a micro-premiee (27weeks) and along with some extremely mild CP I know she is immature for her age. I just dont know how to help her out. Or if what shes doing(not doing) is typical at all? Im thankful Im not having the worries of her being sexually active, she still hasnt even had a boy call the house or anything. Ever. Theyre just not interested. Frankly, I dont think I could be either. Not when it comes to the point where my otherwise beautiful daughter is walking around all day with crusty boogers all over her nose. (YUCK!!!) Shes got younger siblings who dont have issues with this stuff. Even her 11yr old brother thinks its gross to go w/o brushing teeth. And her little sister, oh boy, She's the one who thinks shes a teen!! I know kids are all different, but I hate to see my oldest daughter constantly left out of everything because of this stuff.
Any thoughts, tidbits, advice, or experience??? please?
could this be some form of autism? how is she doing in school? Sounds very abnormal to me and I doubt blame you for being concerned. I think some therapy sessions are in order.
Why not MAKE her take a shower every night. After dinner, simply say "_______, it's shower time" and make sure she takes her shower, washes her hair, etc. You can "help" her with the hair washing and I'm sure after a few times, she'll want to do it on her own.
Buy her her own shower gels, lotions, deodorants, shampoo/conditioners, a shaver for her legs/armpits. Buy her a hair blower. Take her to the salon to get her hair done.
Have you ever sat down with her privately and told her directly how nasty/gross/disgusting it is to go out without washing up and brushing her teeth??? Have you ever had "the boy talk" with her? You really need to speak with her privately and directly and if at that point she doesn't "get it" or still doesn't seem to care, I would absolutely get professional help.
I'm just surprised her friends or other kids in school haven't said anything about it to her.
Do not wash her hair for her in the shower. I don't think the object should be humiliation, which is what that would be.
What does she say when you ask her why? Did she respond at all to charts, etc? How long did you try each attempt to modify her behavior? Is this a big power struggle in your house?
15 year olds should be FAR away from boys... don't encourage that. We were not allowed to date until age 16. Before that in HS only school dances. That is the way it's gonna be with my kids too.
I would make a physician (preferably female) discuss hygiene with her. Have a dentist explain teeth hygiene (the usually do that every office visit anyway!) Let her pick out her own grooming products. Bring her to a salon, so she can see how hair washing is professionally done. Have the salon person explain things to her about "products". Maybe get her a manicure so she can see how nails are done. She can then do them herself at home. Even if she doesn't like polish, she can keep them trimmed and all.
I have a 15yr old daughter and she is so totally clueless when it comes socially, and in self hyigene. As in I have to tell her each day to brush her teeth, brush her hair, wash her face. If I dont, she wont do these things. She will walk around with nasty stuff on her teeth, a dirty face, and hair a tangled mess. We've tried charts, bribes, threats, Dr visits, you name it. sigh. I thought teenage girls were supposed to be all wrapped up in themselves and their looks. Now grant you, I was never into the makeup/hair styling, but theres no way I would have ever even THOUGHT about going in public w/o doing the basics. My daughter, she could go a WEEK w/o doing any of them and not think twice.
The other part to this, is she is socially clueless. While her classmates are going on about boys, she is going on about how HOT Harry Potter is. Or about how much she is in love with Jacob from Twilight. She got really into the James Patterson Max series and so she goes around with her self proclaimed nickname of Max and is obsessed with that and all the charicters that go with it.
Now grant you, she was a micro-premiee (27weeks) and along with some extremely mild CP I know she is immature for her age. I just dont know how to help her out. Or if what shes doing(not doing) is typical at all? Im thankful Im not having the worries of her being sexually active, she still hasnt even had a boy call the house or anything. Ever. Theyre just not interested. Frankly, I dont think I could be either. Not when it comes to the point where my otherwise beautiful daughter is walking around all day with crusty boogers all over her nose. (YUCK!!!) Shes got younger siblings who dont have issues with this stuff. Even her 11yr old brother thinks its gross to go w/o brushing teeth. And her little sister, oh boy, She's the one who thinks shes a teen!! I know kids are all different, but I hate to see my oldest daughter constantly left out of everything because of this stuff.
Any thoughts, tidbits, advice, or experience??? please?
I have a 15yr old daughter and she is so totally clueless when it comes socially, and in self hyigene. As in I have to tell her each day to brush her teeth, brush her hair, wash her face. If I dont, she wont do these things. She will walk around with nasty stuff on her teeth, a dirty face, and hair a tangled mess. .... My daughter, she could go a WEEK w/o doing any of them and not think twice.
.... my otherwise beautiful daughter is walking around all day with crusty boogers all over her nose. (YUCK!!!) Shes got younger siblings who dont have issues with this stuff. Even her 11yr old brother thinks its gross to go w/o brushing teeth. .... but I hate to see my oldest daughter constantly left out of everything because of this stuff.
Any thoughts, tidbits, advice, or experience??? please?
I truly think that this part is what is most disturbing about your posting. That and the fact that lots of people here are first to rush her on to a psyche doc. instead of asking more questions.
It's not the socially clueless part, it's the basic human hygiene part that is something YOU will need to be on top of.
Somehow she's made it to age 15 without having the slightest about basic tooth brushing, washing her hair, face etc...???( She sounds more like my first grade boy?!) Is this a new problem, or has she always been allowed to be so unkempt?
Whatever the case may be, you should help her to focus on the basics, who said parenting wasn't fun, eh?
She doesn't need to all of a sudden become a total girly Barbie wanna be, just cleanliness.
As for the social part? Well, I think once you've tackled the basic cleanliness issues, then the rest will just come along. She'll find her friends who have similar interests in all things Hogwarts and Twilight.... besides, Harry is kinda cute!
Last edited by bellalunatic; 12-21-2009 at 07:25 PM..
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