Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-10-2010, 12:39 PM
 
Location: California
37,056 posts, read 42,020,339 times
Reputation: 34872

Advertisements

I put my kids in every conceivable sport we could think of and could find, but neither of them ended up athletic. We would try something once, and if there was no interest at all we moved on. The same goes for clubs like scouts, 4-H, etc. I would say it was a waste but it gave us something to do and let my kids experience things so they never had to wonder "what if". LOL.

The one constant for our eldest was art, and it was the only activity she wanted to participate in multiple times, and she spent much of her free time drawing and making things. Her college major was art related and so is the industry she is now working in. She likes to walk and goes to the gym for exercise.

Our youngest does not really have a passion for any activity, he prefers reading, talking, debating, and conversing on heavy topics. Only time will tell what he will end up doing.

The point is, either you have it or you don't. Musically, athletically, etc. we (me, kids, dad) just don't. I don't know what to say about that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-10-2010, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,280 posts, read 6,065,549 times
Reputation: 3924
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
This describes our family perfectly. My oldest and youngest play football, lacrosse, they wrestle, weightlift, etc.....

My middle son played lacrosse when he was younger. He liked it at the youth level but he is not hyper competitive so he stopped playing in middle school. Now he is in band at school. He plays in a community band. He does percussion ensemble in the spring. He takes piano and drum lessons. He has interests, they just aren't athletic interests.
That's my sister. In high school she was in orchestra, jazz band, and drum line. She would have been in more, but that's all she could take. Haha. Her interests were and still are much more art and music related.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-10-2010, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 3,223,386 times
Reputation: 1723
My suspicion is don't start too early. Of all our kids, our oldest started swimming lessons at the oldest age compared to the others but she kept at it much longer and swam some races in her first year of high school. whereas the others really never got into the racing part. Likewise she started playing netball at 10 wheras the two boys started soccer somwhat younger like 6 as I recall. She has stuck with netball whereas the younger of the boys is just not into it at all and has to be coaxed & cajoled into going to training and games. So we have held off getting 6yo daughter involved in any compeditive sport just yet.

Some parents seem to have a try this and try that approach and the kid does a term of one thing and then swapps to something different. Not sure if that innoculates the kids against doing it and in the long term does it help develop ideas of loyalty and sticking with something. Just thinking aloud here. We do say to our kids that if you sign up then it is for the entire season.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-10-2010, 09:58 PM
 
442 posts, read 739,190 times
Reputation: 258
Default Parents vs. Child Wants

A 4 year old girl or boy does not know what they want, but it's important to get them to try new things. There were a lot things my parents encouraged me to try and even though I was against them at first, I actually ended up liking the sport or class in the end. I'm glad my parents encouraged me. They weren't always right about things, but either was I.

I don't want to be the kind of parent that says yes I have a 4 year old artist and now I don't have to worry about encouraging anything else in their life that is not art related....What a cop out!!!!

Parents need to give their kids direction and build confidence through a variety of different aspects of life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-10-2010, 10:05 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,280 posts, read 6,065,549 times
Reputation: 3924
You said that you want sports to be a part of her life. You don't want to be too laid back about it. That does not sound like just encouraging her to like sports. Believe it or not, at four I knew I was really into sports. My sister at that age was not into sports. Personalities form early. My niece is six and knows that she likes certain sports. Thank goodness she likes the sport that my family loves.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-10-2010, 10:38 PM
 
10,629 posts, read 26,650,244 times
Reputation: 6776
I think it would be helpful to have the original poster's goals clarified a bit, as we're all doing a bit of our own interpretation. Is it to play a team sport? To compete? To have an interest in watching sports? To win a scholarship? To be healthy and active? I think we all want kids who are physically active, and as noted, there are a lot of ways to that end.

To the OP: she's still really young. It's definitely too early to specialize. You may want to look into park programs or other outside classes that cover a lot of different activities; I know I've seen things like that offered in some places. Instead of committing to an entire season of one sport the kids could play a little of this, a little of that, and therefore get exposed to a lot of different things; maybe she'll find something she really loves that way. Or, as someone said earlier, maybe even if she doesn't like soccer this year, it doesn't mean she won't love it next year. Exposure is good; pressure is not. I was just talking with some parents about this and someone mentioned that their kids are afraid to say they like certain sports because they don't want to get roped into a serious commitment to something, at least not until they've had a chance to get to experience it more casually at first. Today's focus on competition from such an early age seems to not allow kids to dabble like they used to be able to do.

One other suggestion that I don't think I've seen yet on here: how about getting out there and playing with her? Kick around the ball in the yard or at the park? Throw a ball around with the neighbors? Make it casual and fun. Sports shouldn't be a chore, something that has to be endured. And most little kids don't want to be bothered with formal rules. Or, even better, why not run around in yard and park and make up your own game with its own rules? We used to do that as kids. Doing that instead of a formal class or team isn't going to mean that your child can't take up a more formal or official sport or team down the road when a little older.

And one final comment, just in general: I don't think an appreciation or involvement in sports has to be an either/or proposition; you're not either an athlete OR an artist, or an athlete OR a scholar, just as being in sports isn't going to automatically keep your kid on the right track. (I do think every kid needs physical activity in his or her life, though, although there's no need for it to be formal. Walking the dog, jumping in leaf piles, playing tag, etc. Just normal childhood stuff.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-11-2010, 02:01 AM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,190 posts, read 7,949,686 times
Reputation: 3320
Quote:
Originally Posted by aidxen View Post
My suspicion is don't start too early. Of all our kids, our oldest started swimming lessons at the oldest age compared to the others but she kept at it much longer and swam some races in her first year of high school. whereas the others really never got into the racing part. Likewise she started playing netball at 10 wheras the two boys started soccer somwhat younger like 6 as I recall. She has stuck with netball whereas the younger of the boys is just not into it at all and has to be coaxed & cajoled into going to training and games. So we have held off getting 6yo daughter involved in any compeditive sport just yet.

Some parents seem to have a try this and try that approach and the kid does a term of one thing and then swapps to something different. Not sure if that innoculates the kids against doing it and in the long term does it help develop ideas of loyalty and sticking with something. Just thinking aloud here. We do say to our kids that if you sign up then it is for the entire season.
Its all about what the KID want's, not the parent.
Its the sport the kid wants and the age the kids wants to start, not the parent.

If you kid wants to play soccer at age 6, put them into soccer at age 6.
If they don't want to start swimming till age 12, then so be it.

Introduce them to sports but don't force it.

I wanted to spay soccer since I was really little, I wanted to be in sports and I really wasn't and I am still pissed about it to this day. I could be a much better soccer player now if my mom had just put me into the sports when I wanted to do them.

Instead she put me into softball and volleyball. Sure they were fun but not my cup of tea, soccer and swimming are my passions and my mom never was in tune with that, she put me in everything else but what I really loved.

When I have kids I will not make that mistake.
I will introduce them to all sports and which ever ones they choose at whatever age will be supported and paid for by me, because I think that is what kids deserve.


And just curious Aidxen...
If a sport required your girls to wear soccer shorts or some sort of athletic shorts (not a sports skirt) would you allow it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-11-2010, 09:15 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,845,813 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
I have raised 4 children. Sports are what keeps adolescents busy and out of trouble in high school, but in order to compete, children need a foundation in sports from a very young age. If you are able, you must live in a community which has programs for this.
Girl's programs are in place now, where they weren't always, so your daughter should definitely be encouraged to participate.

Eh first off i know many people who didn't start sports until high school and were competitive. And second many girls on my softball team were in more trouble then girls who weren't, that belief that sports keeps kids out of trouble is a myth.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-11-2010, 09:18 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,845,813 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by midlifeman View Post
I agree with gentlearts. Kids need a foundation of sports at an early age to build the coordination and confidence, especially girls. I remember growing up how the girls in the neighborhood were uncoordinated becasue they were NOT taught basic skills of throwing and catching. I always found it odd how the girl next store threw a ball like a shot put. Is this a life skill? perhaps not, but if not learned at an early age it can discourage someone from participating on a team.

So kids who don't have a foundation in sports from the age of 4 will be gawky and socially backwards then you are saying,especially girls? Many girls and boys on sports teams are not very confident,many have just as many problems as girls or guys outside of sports. Many girls on my team were depressed, many cut themselves, a good portion abused drugs. Playing sports doesn't instil confidence in kids, good parenting does that.

Last edited by paganmama80; 10-11-2010 at 09:35 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-11-2010, 09:20 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,845,813 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by midlifeman View Post
I am a father of a 4 year old daughter. I'm not trying to push her to be a professional athlete, but wanted sports to be a part of her life. She is currently in soccer class, and seems a bit disinterested compared to the other kids. I don't want to push too hard, but don't want to be too laid back either. For those who have been down this road before I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks.

Your daughter is 4....let her chose, i feel you are pushing your personal preferences on her. You want her to be a part of a team and not laid back not because she wants to play but because you want her to play.

Last edited by paganmama80; 10-11-2010 at 09:35 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top