Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 10-19-2010, 06:27 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,764,882 times
Reputation: 30711

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I totally agree about the zero tolerance policies. They prevent kids like the OPs son from fighting back in the only way that violent people respect.
Absolutely true. That's why I was always relieved that my son only had altercations off school property! It really does put responsible parents in a difficult position.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
However, I do think that punishment serves a purpose. Although it does not solve the problem it does put the parents on notice that there is a rather large problem.
I'm not saying that children shouldn't be punished. I'm saying that's not the only thing that should happen. The school should do more.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-19-2010, 06:32 PM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,840,258 times
Reputation: 12273
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
She'll better protect her child if she insists the school district evaluate and provide this bully with the proper resources. They will be going to school together for many years, and they live in the same neighborhood. Taking the "I'm only gonna worry about my kid" approach isn't going to truly protect her kid in the long run.
Honestly, they haven't done anything in 3 years. If I were her I would worry about mine first. If they can help the other as well, that's great, but mine first.

SOMEBODY needs to make this kid pay the price for being violent. All the counseling in the world won't help if he doesn't see that his behavior is anti social. If he NEVER gets in trouble why would actually believe his behavior is unacceptable?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-19-2010, 06:44 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,764,882 times
Reputation: 30711
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Honestly, they haven't done anything in 3 years. If I were her I would worry about mine first. If they can help the other as well, that's great, but mine first.
That's why I recommend writing the letter. When you put something in writing to a school district, suddenly the district takes it seriously.

A written letter is proof that the district was notified. If a parent takes the time to put it in writing, I guarantee that the district will do something.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
SOMEBODY needs to make this kid pay the price for being violent. All the counseling in the world won't help if he doesn't see that his behavior is anti social. If he NEVER gets in trouble why would actually believe his behavior is unacceptable?
He does get disciplined. He's not learning because the district isn't doing more. Counseling will help him see his behavior as antisocial.

If he is abused at home, stopping the abuse is important too. I posted a link to a really good article about the high prevelance of child abuse among bullies.

Schools are required to report suspected child abuse. As a result, it boggles my mind that they don't take the most likely underlying cause of bullying seriously.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2010, 05:13 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,430 posts, read 4,322,225 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by AntiSocialRebel View Post
I would have been more upset that my kid didn't fight back than another kid picking on him. That's just me though.

Oh give me a break Yes lets all just resort back to violence to resolve everything. How neanderthal-like.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2010, 05:14 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,430 posts, read 4,322,225 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by gimme it View Post
If anyone punched my child I would be a raving lunatic. The OP has every right to call it bullying if she wants.

Thanks. I'm happy to see I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2010, 05:16 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,430 posts, read 4,322,225 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
If you can do both at the same time, that's not really an issue is it?

I'm talking about merely writing a simple letter. It's 15 minutes.

Writing a letter isn't going to hold her back from protecting her child.

Plus, the letter is going to contribute to protecting her child in addition to everything else she will be doing to protect her child.

I'm absolutely amazed you think this is putting the other child first.

Heck, I'll even write the letter for her, and provide blanks for her to fill in the names.



Lisalan, if you'd like me to write you a form letter, I'd be glad to do so for you. Just let me know!

Wow. Thanks for the offer but I wouldn't dream of asking you to give up some of your time to write me a letter
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2010, 05:22 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,430 posts, read 4,322,225 times
Reputation: 2186
Update:

My son says that David no longer has any friends in the class. The kids actually call him a bully. My son says that David slapped him in the back and then puched him in the face. He then proceeded to kick another child in the face and hit a few more children. There is something not right with David.
Then a certain resource teacher came and took David out of the classroom for a while. I don't know what that's about. The resource teacher usually deals with kids who have some sort of disability I believe. I'm thinking maybe he has ADD/ADHD who knows?
David also gets frustrated when doing school work. He burst out crying because he didn't understand how to do the work that was requested of him in class.
I really think that David should be suspended for a few days but that's just me.
David is a very small kid my son says he weight 49 pounds. I'm suprised he's not scared to pick on other kids that are bigger than him My son is a foot taller and weighs over 20 pounds more.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2010, 05:52 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,840,258 times
Reputation: 12273
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisalan View Post
Update:

My son says that David no longer has any friends in the class. The kids actually call him a bully. My son says that David slapped him in the back and then puched him in the face. He then proceeded to kick another child in the face and hit a few more children. There is something not right with David.
Then a certain resource teacher came and took David out of the classroom for a while. I don't know what that's about. The resource teacher usually deals with kids who have some sort of disability I believe. I'm thinking maybe he has ADD/ADHD who knows?
David also gets frustrated when doing school work. He burst out crying because he didn't understand how to do the work that was requested of him in class.
I really think that David should be suspended for a few days but that's just me.
David is a very small kid my son says he weight 49 pounds. I'm suprised he's not scared to pick on other kids that are bigger than him My son is a foot taller and weighs over 20 pounds more.
At that age size is not that big a deal. If David is out of control, he's out of control. I think David should be suspended as well, but if he is constantly out of control and hitting other children then it is unlikely that the school will do anything about him.

I think Hopes idea of a letter is a good one. Schools do take things more seriously when they are written down. I also think that if your child gets another injury you should call the police to the school. Something needs to happen to cause the school to take some action. If he is hitting the kids in his class on a daily basis it needs to be stopped.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2010, 06:08 AM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 9,254,055 times
Reputation: 3165
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisalan View Post
Update:

My son says that David no longer has any friends in the class. The kids actually call him a bully. My son says that David slapped him in the back and then puched him in the face. He then proceeded to kick another child in the face and hit a few more children. There is something not right with David.
Then a certain resource teacher came and took David out of the classroom for a while. I don't know what that's about. The resource teacher usually deals with kids who have some sort of disability I believe. I'm thinking maybe he has ADD/ADHD who knows?
David also gets frustrated when doing school work. He burst out crying because he didn't understand how to do the work that was requested of him in class.
I really think that David should be suspended for a few days but that's just me.
David is a very small kid my son says he weight 49 pounds. I'm suprised he's not scared to pick on other kids that are bigger than him My son is a foot taller and weighs over 20 pounds more.
Actually sounds like it is more in the spectrum of autism to me, we have had several kids in several of my kids classes that acted that way and they had one form or another of autism


It doesn't matter what it is though, hitting other children is inappropriate and if it has been going on for awhile it should have been dealt with before it escalated to this point.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2010, 07:45 AM
 
2,714 posts, read 5,344,566 times
Reputation: 6213
I think turning into a raving lunatic is over to the top. I do understand though that that will be the immediate reaction of some, but that doesn't do much to help the situation. Kids hit each other. Some kids are bullies. It's going to happen.

One good thing that Lisa can take from this situation is that her child is not being singled out and hit because of his appearance or other attributes. He just happens to be in class with a child who has anger problems. Once that is determined, then it's up to the school to address that situation.

If the situation repeats itself, I would contact the parents of the other children who were hit and schedule a group meeting with the principal and teacher and tell them you will not tolerate your children being victimized by this boy.

If the kid's parents are of the "boys will be boys, teach your sissy son to stop whining" type then you have a problem because any intervention by the school will fall on deaf ears and the parents will claim they are victims of a school that refuses to accept the fact that kids will be kids and hit each other.

Sorry that your kid was punched. That has to be horrible to see.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top