U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 11-03-2010, 02:39 PM
 
Location: middle of everywhere
1,855 posts, read 3,829,493 times
Reputation: 1883

Advertisements

Before I became a mom, I figured that this role would be challenging- I didn't realize just how much.

I have a grade schooler (third grade) who just won't stop talking to other children in class. Her teached has moved her 4 different times, and told me today that no matter what, it is still the same issue. She would rather read Diary Of A Wimpy Kid than do her schoolwork. The days she actually does some work, it is incomplete because she ran out of time.

I took her to a therapist, she is diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive) type. I got a solution from the doctor to have her do 40mins of homework, then 20mins of drawing/reading time. That works at home- but what about school?

Her second grade teacher suggested putting her in private school since this new public school (NYC) setting may be too much distraction for her. The therapist says that no matter where she goes to school she will have this issue, so that is unnecessary. There is NO tv time, Nintendo DS is put away, 90% of her toys are tied up as punishment. Where does this end? I think she will get so used to no having these priviledges, they can't be used as punishment.

Of course, the rest of the family (and her father) ask if she has gotten spanked. I don't want to spank every day! I had a friend who's teen was removed because of corporal punishment- I don't want that to happen to me at all!

Please- any suggestion...the teacher is telling me she wishes she put 'promotion in doubt' on her report card due in two weeks, but she wants to give her a chance since she knows she is smart enough to do the work- she just won't do it.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-03-2010, 03:07 PM
 
3,646 posts, read 9,810,900 times
Reputation: 5456
The ADHD diagnosis changes everything here. You might want to move this to the "Special Needs" section, where parents with other kids with ADHD might help you. Parents without this knowledge will give you different advice.

My daughter (not ADHD) had this same issue up to 2nd grade. Her promotion to 3rd was in doubt, but the teacher advanced her anyway. We had a long talk with her. As we were moving, I let her know that if the work was too hard, she could be held back and that might help her, but that if she didn't want to do it during the move, it would carry a stigma if she waited, continued to goof off and was held back in the 3rd grade. That did it for her. There has been a REMARKABLE change in her this year.

But again, your child has ADHD. Totally different playing field. Good luck.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2010, 03:33 PM
 
1 posts, read 3,151 times
Reputation: 10
I have a daughtler who has ADHD and it can be very defacult at times to me it sounds like your doing everything you can to get your child in the right direction but is your dughtler on a IEP plan also dose your daughtler have a helper to sit with her .
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2010, 03:39 PM
 
Location: BK All Day
4,480 posts, read 8,759,701 times
Reputation: 4314
Sounds like my whole life. Though I am not ADHD.I just can't pay attention. Sitting in school is awful when the rest of the world is so much more interesting. Sometime if I am getting distracted I go to the bathroom just to walk around and it helps a little.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2010, 03:40 PM
 
Location: here
24,841 posts, read 30,847,794 times
Reputation: 32481
talk to someone at the school about an IEP or 504 plan.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2010, 04:36 PM
 
Location: middle of everywhere
1,855 posts, read 3,829,493 times
Reputation: 1883
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
Sounds like my whole life. Though I am not ADHD.I just can't pay attention. Sitting in school is awful when the rest of the world is so much more interesting. Sometime if I am getting distracted I go to the bathroom just to walk around and it helps a little.
I can see that happening to her. I sit with her to do her homework, and she will be mid-sentence then start talking about something completely different. I have to interrupt her to get back to what she was doing.

It kills me to have to go this IEP route. I just hate the idea. Although I would hate her being left back even more.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2010, 04:40 PM
 
13,341 posts, read 21,400,151 times
Reputation: 36470
I would definitely ask for an IEP workup. Is your daughter sitting in front of the teacher? That's where we had to have my son sit, front row center. It helped lessen the distractions.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2010, 04:50 PM
 
Location: Boerne area
706 posts, read 1,551,100 times
Reputation: 860
There should be many techniques at the teacher's disposal, IEP or not. Who is the psychologist/diagnostician at your school? They should be able to help the teacher to not just change her seat, but work with her on completing her work.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2010, 05:33 PM
 
10,630 posts, read 23,804,183 times
Reputation: 6710
I second the recommendations above, but I might also reconsider the school setting; not all schools are the same, and while she may indeed have some of the same issues anywhere she goes (I don't have ADHD experience) not all school environments are the same. That doesn't necessarily mean private school; there may also be some good magnet or charter options out there.

On a related topic (and not to hijack the thread!) you say 40 minutes of homework, followed by 20 minutes of play at home; 40 minutes of homework (or possibly even more?) is excessive for a third-grader, which is one reason I wonder if perhaps she'd respond better to a different type of school, one in which the kids aren't drilled so much. (many recommendations are 10 minutes per night per grade level, although there are also many studies out there suggesting that homework in elementary school has no, and in some cases negative, impact on student learning. If she's getting huge amounts of homework, then perhaps she's not having a chance to blow off steam at home?) Do they get recess at school? Obviously you'll want to thoroughly investigate the ADHD issue, but there could also be some environmental factors at play here, too.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2010, 05:47 PM
 
32,525 posts, read 31,475,258 times
Reputation: 32393
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
Sounds like my whole life. Though I am not ADHD.I just can't pay attention. Sitting in school is awful when the rest of the world is so much more interesting. Sometime if I am getting distracted I go to the bathroom just to walk around and it helps a little.
I was another one who did not like sitting in a classroom. I just about kissed the feet of the first college professor I had who took us outside to sit under a tree and discuss American government.

To the OP: Don't rely on one diagnosis. Get a second opinion. Not all kids learn the same way and some are just so bored they act out. I have a brother who could not keep his mouth shut in class. He was also the smartest kid in the school.

Second opinion before you do anything drastic.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top