Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am the stepfather of a wonderfull 6 year old boy. I have been with his mother since he was two months old. I fell in love with him as much as i did his mother. He has called me dad since he could talk and has no idea that I am not his real father...I feel like it would do more damage then good to tell him untill he is old enough to understand (probably 10-12 but we will handle that as it comes). The thing me and my wife are having trouble with is...he has denied from the beginning that the boy was his. After hearing the storry from my wife and seeing pictures of the man...I know with very high certainty that he is. So lets just assume that for now. we have tried to keep track of him in some way (social media and other places) so that when I do tell my son the truth if he has question about his biological father we can answer them...also medical history is sometimes needed and i would like to have that information if necessary. Also we have found out (through) social media that he had another baby...so now my son technically has a half sister. We plan on contacting the woman involved to inform her that her daughter has a half brother...I just feel like she needs to know. seeing as this man is going around making babies and leaving them (the woman and him have split up) I feel like this man should start paying child support so if nothing else he has consequences for what he is doing. My wife is affraid that if we locate him and take him to court for child support that he would then have custody rights. I would be fine with him seeing his biological son in the future but not right now seeing as i have not told the boy...so if we did press for child support and he started paying would he instantly be given rights to see the boy (he was informed that the boy was his ...he sent a $500 check and disapeared) So do judges take that into consideration. As i stated if he payed child support to prove he would be a man about it...then down the road i would be ok with them meeting, But i would rather not have the child support if he would instantly be in MY sons life. So can anybody point me in the direction of any information on how this would be handled legaly?
I am the stepfather of a wonderfull 6 year old boy. I have been with his mother since he was two months old. I fell in love with him as much as i did his mother. He has called me dad since he could talk and has no idea that I am not his real father...I feel like it would do more damage then good to tell him untill he is old enough to understand (probably 10-12 but we will handle that as it comes). The thing me and my wife are having trouble with is...he has denied from the beginning that the boy was his. After hearing the storry from my wife and seeing pictures of the man...I know with very high certainty that he is. So lets just assume that for now. we have tried to keep track of him in some way (social media and other places) so that when I do tell my son the truth if he has question about his biological father we can answer them...also medical history is sometimes needed and i would like to have that information if necessary. Also we have found out (through) social media that he had another baby...so now my son technically has a half sister. We plan on contacting the woman involved to inform her that her daughter has a half brother...I just feel like she needs to know. seeing as this man is going around making babies and leaving them (the woman and him have split up) I feel like this man should start paying child support so if nothing else he has consequences for what he is doing. My wife is affraid that if we locate him and take him to court for child support that he would then have custody rights. I would be fine with him seeing his biological son in the future but not right now seeing as i have not told the boy...so if we did press for child support and he started paying would he instantly be given rights to see the boy (he was informed that the boy was his ...he sent a $500 check and disapeared) So do judges take that into consideration. As i stated if he payed child support to prove he would be a man about it...then down the road i would be ok with them meeting, But i would rather not have the child support if he would instantly be in MY sons life. So can anybody point me in the direction of any information on how this would be handled legaly?
Unless you have legally adopted the boy you have no legal right to do anything with him, tell anyone anything about him, make any decisions on his behalf or tell him anything. That is his Mother's decision what to do and when to do it.
Moderator cut: delete
Last edited by Miss Blue; 01-31-2016 at 07:04 AM..
Reason: off topic
Unless you have legally adopted the boy you have no legal right to do anything with him, tell anyone anything about him, make any decisions on his behalf or tell him anything. That is his Mother's decision what to do and when to do it.
Moderator cut: orphaned.
I understand that I "legally" have no right when it comes to him...I am speaking on behalf of me and my wife who are trying to figure out "together" what would happen. But I have raised this boy and loved him ....so I can tell him what I want. I am dad. not biological father...but I am dad to this boy. Thank you for you input. we will most likely take the advice of justmike77 and see an attorney. Thank you mike for the "helpfull" advice.Moderator cut: orphaned response
Last edited by Miss Blue; 01-31-2016 at 07:07 AM..
Reason: deleted the response to deleted quote
I am the stepfather of a wonderfull 6 year old boy. I have been with his mother since he was two months old. I fell in love with him as much as i did his mother. He has called me dad since he could talk and has no idea that I am not his real father...I feel like it would do more damage then good to tell him untill he is old enough to understand (probably 10-12 but we will handle that as it comes). The thing me and my wife are having trouble with is...he has denied from the beginning that the boy was his. After hearing the storry from my wife and seeing pictures of the man...I know with very high certainty that he is. So lets just assume that for now. we have tried to keep track of him in some way (social media and other places) so that when I do tell my son the truth if he has question about his biological father we can answer them...also medical history is sometimes needed and i would like to have that information if necessary. Also we have found out (through) social media that he had another baby...so now my son technically has a half sister. We plan on contacting the woman involved to inform her that her daughter has a half brother...I just feel like she needs to know. seeing as this man is going around making babies and leaving them (the woman and him have split up) I feel like this man should start paying child support so if nothing else he has consequences for what he is doing. My wife is affraid that if we locate him and take him to court for child support that he would then have custody rights. I would be fine with him seeing his biological son in the future but not right now seeing as i have not told the boy...so if we did press for child support and he started paying would he instantly be given rights to see the boy (he was informed that the boy was his ...he sent a $500 check and disapeared) So do judges take that into consideration. As i stated if he payed child support to prove he would be a man about it...then down the road i would be ok with them meeting, But i would rather not have the child support if he would instantly be in MY sons life.
So can anybody point me in the direction of any information on how this would be handled legaly?
The boy has the right to receive child support from his biological father. The father also has the right to follow whatever custody/visitation agreement the courts set up. Child support and visitation/custody are two separate issues.
And, any decision that needs to made is legally the decision of the boy's mother as you have absolutely no rights in the child's life. You may love him and care for him but he is not your son.
I'm afraid that you will regret it if you get in touch with the biofather. Life is good now. You love this boy. I suggest you and your wife speak with an attorney about getting biofather's rights terminated, and adopt the boy.
The child already has a dad who loves and supports him...you. Why bother dredging up a deadbeat who has clearly shown he doesn't want to be bothered? I think you should leave well enough alone. What does your son have to gain, other than a child support check? Along with that check can come rejection, hurt, confusion, and a lot of pain. It's so not worth it.
Let it go. Why after 6 years are you suddenly so interested in child support?
Most importantly it is NOT your place to contact the other woman he has a child with him. That could be like hitting a bee hive. Who knows that bio dad would do if you intruded into his life like that.
Get the attorney, do what he says.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
