Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-12-2010, 09:34 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,844,983 times
Reputation: 1740

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by SKP440 View Post
There is no backtracking at all. My wife and I have had this conversation at least twice now and she knows how I feel about the subject. Therefore for her to state to my daughter that its ok for her to go out and come back as late as she wants to WOULD be going against something we have already had at least two conversations about. She does disagree, but one again since I seem to be the only one who graduated from the Police Academy I usually make the call about personal safety just as she gives us the flu shot. As far as what every cop knows while I am fully aware of what every cop knows (and in spite of what the numbers are Nationally NYC is a different animal all together). I live in the suburbs, but I know my child likes to hang out in the city because I have taken her and her friends on many little shopping trips, or plays in the city. Would it ever occur to you that I don't put my faith in just numbers, but on actual real world experience (i.e. years spent on patrol dealing with people at all hours of the day) now of course you can put your eggs into that wonderful basket known as statics, but I choose NOT to. I have seen what is out there and yes I have an old fashioned approach, but its the one both my wife and I have talked about. So yes as far as I'm concerned the sky is falling. Now as far as that warning of her doing what she wants to anyway. I guess she could, but the consequence for doing so will be hers to bear. Bet on the likelihood that I will find out, and there will be hell to pay.

Of course there is backtracking my friend....you stated that your wife and daughter would cry foul if you said this and now you have not 1 but had 2 conversations with her about it? Oh nyc is a different beast is it....well those numbers i give you are coming from any major city, but i guess nyc just somehow bucks the trend now does it? Sure there might be hell to pay but your daughter will keep on doing it anyway with your wifes support i am sure.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-12-2010, 09:41 AM
 
13,219 posts, read 9,828,208 times
Reputation: 14262
Quote:
Originally Posted by notfriedkasei View Post
Does it never occur to anyone that their sons might be the ones other people's daughters 'need' protection from? Plenty of boys-next-door are rapists when there is enough peer pressure, alcohol, or testosterone around.

It isn't just about teaching kids to protect themselves from others ... it is about educating everyone not to be the predator, either.
Yes, that's why I originally posted this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus
And most of all, make sure you raise sons that are not going to drug, attack or rape somebody's daughter. For their own safety. Because my child is going to be trained in how to do the maximum amount of damage to anybody that tries to hurt her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2010, 09:47 AM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,802,115 times
Reputation: 1947
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
No but even you have to admit that any parent who has clear double standards for their children based on a "it's because i said so attitude" is going to just create the situation they are trying to avoid. You are not going to be able to do that and have your kids have much respect for you. You do want your children to be safe, but you can allow one child to do anything he wants due to his gender and the other to be locked up and have any expectation that you won't be having problems. While i don't agree with your style of parenting, you treated your kids equally from what i can see. And just go back and look at some of this dudes posts. In almost everyone he is either talking about how in an argument he made some grand point his wife could not answer,talking down on women, or making sweeping statements on how things will always be as HE says in his house no if ands or buts. He will tell you he usually defers to his wife on medical but then say unless he has questions about it.
I did treat them equally, but I had 2 boys and they are 1 1/2 years apart. I have no idea what I would have done if one of them was a girl (I thank God every day I didn't have a girl) but I do know I would worry more about a girl than a boy. I know my parents worried more about me but my brother and I ran in the same circles and he was my shadow and they knew it. They may have been less lenient if he wasn't.

As far as his other posts regarding talking down to women, I have not seen them. If I do, they surely would be met with a hearty lol though.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2010, 09:51 AM
 
1,639 posts, read 4,693,177 times
Reputation: 1028
The parenting forum is nasty. Any topic quickly regresses to personal attacks based on rhetoric, assumptions, and word-twisting...and for what, to try and prove a stranger wrong?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2010, 09:59 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,844,983 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
I did treat them equally, but I had 2 boys and they are 1 1/2 years apart. I have no idea what I would have done if one of them was a girl (I thank God every day I didn't have a girl) but I do know I would worry more about a girl than a boy. I know my parents worried more about me but my brother and I ran in the same circles and he was my shadow and they knew it. They may have been less lenient if he wasn't.

As far as his other posts regarding talking down to women, I have not seen them. If I do, they surely would be met with a hearty lol though.

I can understand being more worried about your daughter, but keeping her caged up doesn't protect her from this world. Eventually girls grow up and leave the house and do things you might have tried to protect her from. The fact is this country is far more violent for men then women so it's time i think we been correcting this misguided views. It's far better we teach our daughters to be smart about about where they go, and who they go places with. Then just locking them up until they turn 18 thinking forgetting that once they leave the house your protection no longer will cover them. And yes his posts are hilarious and a fun read always!.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2010, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,316 posts, read 120,288,414 times
Reputation: 35920
Quote:
Originally Posted by leavingmassachusetts View Post
(i thank god every day i didn't have a girl):
-----o. M. G!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2010, 10:06 AM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,802,115 times
Reputation: 1947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
-----o. M. G!
Sorry if that offended. I just know me...I would not have survived a teenage girl.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2010, 10:15 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,844,983 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
Sorry if that offended. I just know me...I would not have survived a teenage girl.

*snickers* I would love to see the visual.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2010, 10:16 AM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,802,115 times
Reputation: 1947
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
*snickers* I would love to see the visual.
I don't do whining.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2010, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Westchester County
1,223 posts, read 1,682,337 times
Reputation: 1235
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganism View Post
Of course there is backtracking my friend....you stated that your wife and daughter would cry foul if you said this and now you have not 1 but had 2 conversations with her about it? Oh nyc is a different beast is it....well those numbers i give you are coming from any major city, but i guess nyc just somehow bucks the trend now does it? Sure there might be hell to pay but your daughter will keep on doing it anyway with your wifes support i am sure.

How many of those major cities have 10 million people living in them with a Police Department of just over 35,000? I'm not here to argue the stats with you because so far the only numbers in this discussion have come from me an actual member of the later number. When you do a job for any length of time you know the dangers of said job and can (and should) advise your family accordingly. I have advised my family and it seems that since in my home there is a rule in place that offends you (not the child who would actually have to follow said rule and not your child either) you seem to just know (or would in fact encourage) a child to disobey a rule set by their parents, and rally one parent to ignore a rule already discussed between them. If you were my wife's friend I would have a MAJOR problem with that. See its a given that we disagree on this topic, but that doesn't seem to be enough for you. You look to discredit me, and call me names all because you disagree with the way I choose to handle a particular subject. I did not tell you how you should think or what you should do with your family because its YOUR DECISION to make as a parent. The only thing I'm getting from this debate is that disagree with someone and you will be deamonized and called every name in the book just because your idea is different. Sad.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top