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Greetings. This is the first time I post on this section of City Data. Given that my children are all adults, I never had a need to post here. Sadly, I have need to do so today, and not for very good reasons.
My youngest daughter (age 20) is good looking, intelligent, and usually a quick wit. Her mother and I divorced 3 years ago. Ever since that time, my daughter has developed a violent streak. Not only has she become verbally and physically aggressive towards her two other siblings, but she is also verbally defiant against her mother. According to some of her close friends, she has verbally aggressed a few of them, and has gotten into physical altercations with others while out with friends.
A few months ago, my daughter informed me that she wanted to purchase a firearm. After listening to her reasons for acquiring one, I served her with my reasons as to why this was not the best time to exercise her second ammendment rights. She agreed and has not further pursued this.
For some reason, I am the only person whom she has not acted out against. Even though I live only 10 minutes from her house and meet with her frequently, it is evident that my absence has caused this change in her behaviour.
I've never heard of a female turning to violence as a way to cope with the pain of parental divorce, and greatly fear the worst possible outcome.
Has anyone else witnessed such phenomena? If so, how was it dealt with?
No. I just wanted to say that the children of divorced parents are the ones who really suffer. Please try and get her some therapy.
She has been under therapy with a family therapist since early this year. Her outbursts have somewhat diminished. But this week I had to run to her side late in the evening after yet another incident. It's so painful to see my little one behave this way.
First of all, stop blaming the divorce for her new volitile personality.
Even though this started at the time of the divorce, the divorce only CONTRIBUTED to whatever other problem she has.
Another traumatic event could have triggered this same behavior in her even if you had stayed married.
Things that could be causing this run from her starting drug abuse around the same time as the divorce OR her being predisposed to developing anxiety and depression after big life changes.
Violence---even in women---can be a symptom of anxiety and depression. It can also occur in post tramatic stress syndrome.
IMO what your daughter needs is professional mental health treatment.
Violence is another issue from anger. Violence, especially towards another person, is never an acceptable way to deal with anger, whether that anger is associated with depression or some other cause. People who suffer from mental illness where anger occurs need treatment -- not only with medications, but with counseling and behavioral therapy to learn healthier ways of dealing with the anger. Certain illegal and street drugs can also lead people to have bursts of uncontrolled anger, including metabolic steroids, cocaine and PCP.
btw, I'm glad you talked her out of getting a gun. Maybe you can influence her to seek therapy too.
She has been under therapy with a family therapist since early this year. Her outbursts have somewhat diminished. But this week I had to run to her side late in the evening after yet another incident. It's so painful to see my little one behave this way.
What kind of therapist are you taking her too, and i mean what are his or her credentials.? Believe it or not in many states you don't even need a degree to hang put therapist on your door. I would make sure you are taking her to a psychiatrist or a psychologist as they both would have more training.
She has been under therapy with a family therapist since early this year. Her outbursts have somewhat diminished. But this week I had to run to her side late in the evening after yet another incident. It's so painful to see my little one behave this way.
What's her diagnosis? Was she prescribed any medication? If so, does she continue to take her medication or did she quit taking it?
(It's common for people to quit taking medicaiton even though they really need it.)
If she has been actively in therapy for a year and hasn't been diagnosed mental health disoder, you really need to consider if the therapy she is receiving is appropriate and/or if she is involved in recreational drug use.
What kind of therapist are you taking her too, and i mean what are his or her credentials.? Believe it or not in many states you don't even need a degree to hang put therapist on your door. I would make sure you are taking her to a psychiatrist or a psychologist as they both would have more training.
Totally agree. Someone with her problems shouldn't be seeing a licensed social worker for therapy.
She needs professional mental health treatment with a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Definitely.
I'm interested in know what the OP's daughter was diagnosed with. She couldn't be receiveing quality therapy for a year without receiving a diagnosis.
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