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This is something I'm obviously not proud of but it can't be undo.
Over the years (I'm 23 now) there has been 3 altercations with my mother, in which I hit her back. Knowing I could have applied more physical force, it was left as slapping and shoving. The latest argument with her happened on the 18th of this month, 4 years later after the first 2 confrontations.
Last year there was once an overheated argument with my father as well, in which I said ''If you hit me, I'll hit ya back'' then he was like ''I'll damn send you to a mental hospital''. Towards the end of the argument I was saying something like ''I'll kill ya (what I really meant to say is ''I'll really mess you up good or I'll ruin you'').
Obviously my behavior was atrocious/unexcusable and she's still not quite over it. Is there a mending to this?
I'm trying to remind myself that no matter they're my parents. Has anyone of you ever dealt with this or hit back one of your parents (or threatened)?
Or I'm I a monster created as she has told my father today? However, I'm really not the instigator of arguments. Is this bond to occur between explosive arguments even with one's parents?
My mom hit me a couple of time after I turned 18, it wouldn't have happened more than once had I calle the cops on her. Being a parent doesn't make you above the law.
First time was a glass of wine to the face, I should have called then.
I was 18 and was kind enough to have asked before just leaving and she was already at the bottom of a bottle of wine and she got pissed and sloshed her last glass in my face. At that point I told my friend what happened and to just come get me.
Second time she slammed a door on my arm and I pushed the door back with my other one and I guess me getting a door off my arm warranted her then hitting me so hard in the side of the head that I got a concussion which I had to go to the hospital for because I started throwing up, I was 19 then.
Those are the two most vivid situations but there are countless time of being slapped.
Plain and simple it's against the law for one adult to hit another.
Next time she hits you don't hit back and call the cops instead.
Hold up some of yall got it confused her mother hit her first shes grown that's abuse. shes 23 years old why df she suppose to accept abuse? some of yall must be mentally ill if yall think yall's grown children will let y'all hit on them an they cant do anything about it. girl leave an cut you're parent's out you're life it's not going to get better.
To the guy living with his toxic patents: move out with roommates. And go get a two year certificate in something, like in healthcare, so you can support yourself. Lpn?
Unfortunately, it is legal in the United States and many other countries for parents to hit kids (how hard, with what, and how much damage can potentially make it illegal). There is no law that says you cannot hit him back, so, yes, you can.
A better idea would be to just stay out of his way until you are 18 and can leave for good.
Hits you how? If he just swats your arm or something, that doesn't warrant knocking him right out. If you feel you need to defend yourself on the other hand, then that's different.
This is not a good relationship regardless. Nobody should be hitting anyone. Seek family counseling and/or move out ASAP when you're 18.
Or I'm I a monster created as she has told my father today? However, I'm really not the instigator of arguments. Is this bond to occur between explosive arguments even with one's parents?
If you as a family are going around telling each other you are monsters or mentally ill or want to kill each other - and so forth - then you have issues much deeper and requiring of professional intervention than merely your propensity to resort to violence.
That said however - on a more general note - if parents have brought their children up teaching them that conflict resolution or disagreement resolution or communication is to be done through the medium of violence then I have little sympathy for them if the day comes when those children communicate back in kind. They brought it on themselves.
It sounds like you need help. All kinds of help. I hope you seek it. I hope you find it. Together as a family. Because not one word you wrote sounds healthy to me.
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