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Apologizing isn't defensive. Apologizing is good manners.
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Originally Posted by ValueAddedWorker
That's your opinion. You should learn to understand that not everyone agrees with you and that's okay.
In my experience, people who have a problem apologizing are usually very insecure people. Sadly, you don't realize that an apology can be very powerful.
I think life is too short to be so cold and play power games to feel better about oneself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ValueAddedWorker
Maybe I'm the one getting my knickers in a twist...
That's what we've been saying. It's not a big deal. YOU are the one making it a big deal.
Just calling to let them know that you're sorry you missed the invite isn't a big deal. But you prefer to have your knickers in a twist.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ValueAddedWorker
what do you mean the heir or the spare?
exit82 was asking if you are the loved child who will inherit the family estate or the 'spare' child who won't get anything unless the loved child dies before you.
Get rid of your home phone, they'll have no choice but to call your cell phone.
The family I nanny for does not have a home phone number. I only have a cell phone I can be reached on. It will stay that way, I will never be getting a home phone..
Many police departments require their officers to have a home phone actually .
Ever since us "kids" moved out, he's no longer as tolerant and is becoming a mean spirited grumpy old man. Now back to the dinner situation...I'd say it was an insincere invitation- there was no call to my cell and no follow up call either by anyone in the family, for that matter.
Tell your mom to give him a little more access to the love canal for the good of the family .
Well I called my parents just now and they didn't answer, so I left a message saying that I heard they recently had a dinner...too bad I missed it but I hardly every check my home phone voice mail, but do check my cell every day, so please call that phone next time. See you later... (click).
Ever since us "kids" moved out, he's no longer as tolerant and is becoming a mean spirited grumpy old man.
Are you sure your dad isn't my dad, lol. They sound like the same guy!
Been there before. If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't say anything about missing dinner. If they invite you next time, just stay for a little while for your mandatory visit (my visits are like pulling teeth to say in the nicest way possible) and off you go.
I visit my parents every Sunday for exactly 30 minutes. I don't really make conversation with my dad because he's my dad.
Life is too short to be getting all worked up over a grumpy dad who can't lighten up. It's old age, dementia or something, I tell ya. Once they start becoming terminally ill is when they start to soften up and learn the error of their ways with you. ...sometimes.
In my experience, people who have a problem apologizing are usually very insecure people. Sadly, you don't realize that an apology can be very powerful.
I think life is too short to be so cold and play power games to feel better about oneself.
As a survivor of a jerk of a dad (he's not all bad I've learned some good from him), is that an apology is just an open invitation to belittle and insult me. I will never hear the end of it; that he was right and some other blah, blah, blah stuff I kinda tune out because if I listen, it will just make me cry and make him pick on me some more. 5 years later, he will still talk about it and even brag to his friends. Yeah, dysfunctional at its finest. It's best to just stay quiet and subscribe to the less is more way.
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