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I'm a 25 year old male, and times have definately changed since my grandparents got married years ago! A few reasons I can think of from my perspective not to get married and start a family, even though my mother and girlfriend would rather I chose to get married:
1) There are already too many people in this world. If we want the human species to go extinct faster, one way to do it would continue aimlessly doing what we have done for centuries. Pro-create, use resources, and multiply exponentially until eventually, most everything is gone. Why would I want to bring a child into this world when jobs are declining and competition is getting more fierce?
2) I do not believe in divorce. Therefore, I will not get married.
3) And if your spouse suddenly decides to divorce you and you have been married more than eight years... you might as well donate half of everything you own to her. If you had kids with her, multiply half of everything you own by 1.5 is what I've heard.
4) Once you are married, you lose a lot of freedoms. You'll probably end up buying a house, which will eventually become something of very close resemblance to a prison cell, and your wife will control 90% of the houses decorating and uses from my life observance. You might get a toolshed or something, or maybe a small room for your personal uses and hobbies. Even at that, if you spend "too much time" in your space without her, she'll start complaining and it might lead to divorce, which leads back up to #3.
5) The world is not the same as it used to be. Therefore, marriage is not as beneficial as it used to be. You can still love each other without a worthless legal document and interference by the government.
6) Bottom line (in my humble opinion) The way the legal system in the United states is set up, it is indesputable that the current state makes it an asset to get married FOR WOMEN ONLY, regardless if it ends in divorce or not. They will still come out way over the top. For men, it is always a gamble. If she is a true companion, and you both want it to work out and it DOES WORK, well great. Once again though, you do not need to get married to experience these benefits. That was a century or two ago. FOR MEN, if it ends up in divorce, you will be screwed and no one will care.
4) Once you are married, you lose a lot of freedoms. You'll probably end up buying a house, which will eventually become something of very close resemblance to a prison cell, and your wife will control 90% of the houses decorating and uses from my life observance. You might get a toolshed or something, or maybe a small room for your personal uses and hobbies. Even at that, if you spend "too much time" in your space without her, she'll start complaining and it might lead to divorce, which leads back up to #3.
6) Bottom line (in my humble opinion) The way the legal system in the United states is set up, it is indesputable that the current state makes it an asset to get married FOR WOMEN ONLY, regardless if it ends in divorce or not. They will still come out way over the top.
FOR MEN, if it ends up in divorce, you will be screwed and no one will care.
Yep. All it is now is a social construct that is pounded into the heads of young girls who pine to be a "princess" for a day and have a guy finance their reproductive and social status yearnings. Then when you break up she gets most of your assets.
I'd rather go to Vegas and play Roulette. Better odds.
I think marriage percentages are higher in the middle of the country compared to the coasts based on my personal experiences. Divorce rates are the highest in the Bible Belt which most people don't realize...
I enjoy my personal freedom, and like to travel around the US. My career field will likely take me to many different cities so I definitely DO NOT want to be tied down at all. I have seen way too many people "settle down," and then become totally rigid or complacent. I don't want to be stuck in place. I know some people might thrive in a differing environment. To each their own.
Victor 14...
It is a well known fact that women suffer financially more than men after a divorce. Men still make more in wages than women even in same education class. Many times women curtail their careers or at least don't make advancements in careers in order to have children and provide majority of care for them.
Also Married Men live longer than unmarried men so when you say marriage benefits women more than men you are way off.
Yep. All it is now is a social construct that is pounded into the heads of young girls who pine to be a "princess" for a day and have a guy finance their reproductive and social status yearnings. Then when you break up she gets most of your assets.
I'd rather go to Vegas and play Roulette. Better odds.
Haha, nope. I never asked. I am just jaded after seeing my dad (who made very good money) die penniless after being married three times while his wives got all of his money.
I am not sure the parenting forum is the right place to post this but here goes.
Why does it seem like many young people arent interested in marriage anymore? would like to here from young folks out there. (just for the record I am not saying no young people marry, It just seems to me that young couples marriage rate has dropped alot).
I hear more and more people saying my daughter, grandchild and boyfriend live together. Or daughter and child live in an apartment and the father comes around now and then.
Maybe I am seeing it all wrong. But It seems like its there way of steering clear of commitment to each other. Giving them an easy out to just leave if it gets boring or lifestyle gets cramped. Or even cause it allows them an open door to cheat without worry of consequences of divorce and divorce settlement.
I am not bashing you younger folks, times change, things change, I just want to understand why its like this now?
Welfare, WIC, and Medicaid, free day care make it more sensible for women to have children outside of marriage. Women who don't want children also have no real need to marry either. And for the men, marriage can end up very costly and they can have plenty of sex without it.
I haven't read the thread, but I want to say that I'm glad I lived with men prior to marriage.
It doesn't matter how well you know a person, you don't really know them until you live with them. I should know since I've lived with four men in my life.
"Living together" prevented me from making marriage mistakes and helped me make the smart marriage choice in my husband, whom I lived with for 5 years before marrying.
I would advise my childrent to "live together" before committing to marriage. But I would also advise them to not have children until marriage too.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,742,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Victor14
I'm a 25 year old male, and times have definately changed since my grandparents got married years ago! A few reasons I can think of from my perspective not to get married and start a family, even though my mother and girlfriend would rather I chose to get married:
1) There are already too many people in this world. If we want the human species to go extinct faster, one way to do it would continue aimlessly doing what we have done for centuries. Pro-create, use resources, and multiply exponentially until eventually, most everything is gone. Why would I want to bring a child into this world when jobs are declining and competition is getting more fierce?
2) I do not believe in divorce. Therefore, I will not get married.
3) And if your spouse suddenly decides to divorce you and you have been married more than eight years... you might as well donate half of everything you own to her. If you had kids with her, multiply half of everything you own by 1.5 is what I've heard.
4) Once you are married, you lose a lot of freedoms. You'll probably end up buying a house, which will eventually become something of very close resemblance to a prison cell, and your wife will control 90% of the houses decorating and uses from my life observance. You might get a toolshed or something, or maybe a small room for your personal uses and hobbies. Even at that, if you spend "too much time" in your space without her, she'll start complaining and it might lead to divorce, which leads back up to #3.
5) The world is not the same as it used to be. Therefore, marriage is not as beneficial as it used to be. You can still love each other without a worthless legal document and interference by the government.
6) Bottom line (in my humble opinion) The way the legal system in the United states is set up, it is indesputable that the current state makes it an asset to get married FOR WOMEN ONLY, regardless if it ends in divorce or not. They will still come out way over the top. For men, it is always a gamble. If she is a true companion, and you both want it to work out and it DOES WORK, well great. Once again though, you do not need to get married to experience these benefits. That was a century or two ago. FOR MEN, if it ends up in divorce, you will be screwed and no one will care.
Pretty much sums it up for us young males.
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