Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I haven't read the thread, but I want to say that I'm glad I lived with men prior to marriage.
It doesn't matter how well you know a person, you don't really know them until you live with them. I should know since I've lived with four men in my life.
"Living together" prevented me from making marriage mistakes and helped me make the smart marriage choice in my husband, whom I lived with for 5 years before marrying.
I would advise my childrent to "live together" before committing to marriage. But I would also advise them to not have children until marriage too.
I assume that you are aware that people who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than those who do not live together first. It's all about the level of commitment.
I can't imagine CHOOSING to have kids without a husband. It's hard enough WITH one. Who the heck wants to do all that work alone?!
Young adults these days are more infantalized and entitled than they were 100 years ago. They can barely manage their laundry at 22...marriage is out of the question.
People live longer. Careers take longer to establish. Women are pursuing their own dreams that don't involve being shackled to a home, man, and children at an early age (some want to see the world, experience living in different places, etc).
Frankly, I don't think most people (myself included) really know who they are and the direction they want their lives to take until their mid to late twenties. There are exceptions that fall on either side of that age range, but if couples are going to make it in this crazy, complicated world, they're better off armed with as much ammo as possible.
I assume that you are aware that people who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than those who do not live together first. It's all about the level of commitment.
I can't imagine CHOOSING to have kids without a husband. It's hard enough WITH one. Who the heck wants to do all that work alone?!
Yes but is that really a good thing? How many are staying together because religious ideals say not to divorce even though they are unhappy? Often most people who don't believe in moving in together before divorce are the same group who don't believe in sex before marriage as well.
Young adults these days are more infantalized and entitled than they were 100 years ago. They can barely manage their laundry at 22...marriage is out of the question.
People live longer. Careers take longer to establish. Women are pursuing their own dreams that don't involve being shackled to a home, man, and children at an early age (some want to see the world, experience living in different places, etc).
Frankly, I don't think most people (myself included) really know who they are and the direction they want their lives to take until their mid to late twenties. There are exceptions that fall on either side of that age range, but if couples are going to make it in this crazy, complicated world, they're better off armed with as much ammo as possible.
I think you are absolutely right that this is the current attitude held by many younger people towards marriage.
I don't really understand it, though; you can certainly move around and see the world while being married! I think many young people are also understanding marriage through an outdated lens, and see marriage as the same thing as settling down in the stereotypical house with the white picket fence and having kids. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that lifestyle, either, but marriage in itself doesn't lead to that life, and marriage doesn't mean that you can't also do fun things and have adventures.
On the flip side, I think that overly romanticized view is also leading to problems for some people who do get married. It puts the focus on a perceived lifestyle, and for good or for bad, getting married isn't going to make life into some modified Martha Stewart fantasy.
Now-a-days there are so many more things for young people to do and see that they put marriage a little longer down the road....
I always told my sons all through High School, do it now......have fun....because once you get married, then have children, a good job, the things that you wanted to do, somehow just don't happen...and life goes on....
I wanted my sons to be able to say they did a lot of stuff, (like I should have)...........So when one of my sons wanted to go to a school in London, while as a parent the thought is horrifying. I said yes.........go out there and see what the world has to offer.......
People live longer. Careers take longer to establish. Women are pursuing their own dreams that don't involve being shackled to a home, man, and children at an early age (some want to see the world, experience living in different places, etc).
I guess I have to agree. To make it these day kids have to go to college and establish careers which pushes things back at least 5 years. Plus the freedom is awsome for young folks. They come and go as they please, enjoy sex with no commitments (unless they choose to commit to one person), and arent tied down to a house and family while they are young and energenic.
Maybe I am seeing it all wrong. But It seems like its there way of steering clear of commitment to each other. Giving them an easy out to just leave if it gets boring or lifestyle gets cramped. Or even cause it allows them an open door to cheat without worry of consequences of divorce and divorce settlement.
Actually, there are a lot of married folks who do all of the above. Some divorce; others look the other way. I know quite a few people (acquaintances, friends of friends, etc.) who are still in their 20s and are already divorced.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
