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With the exception of #9, which I think is optional, I think it's pretty much a "duh!" list.
It's funny to read number 9 - the one about religion - when i think about the substantially negative affect religion had on my upbringing. with my little one, i am already weeding out overly religious kids books, although i have let noah's ark stuff stay. i am open to them becoming religious on their own terms when they are older, but when they are so young it just doesn't feel right to me.
With the exception of #9, which I think is optional, I think it's pretty much a "duh!" list.
Aconite, there are families who do not do this. I know. I grew up in one. It is not "duh" to those children who have now grown up and have children of their own. In fact, the things I have learned about relationships especially with one's own children have shaken me to my core. Sometimes I think, what if I didn't want to improve and never sought different POVs? I can't imagine where my daughter and I would be right now.
I think that number 3 is really important, especially if you are divorced. My ex and I don't always agree on things, but we have put our relationship issues on the back burner for our children. We are always a united front to them. No tag teaming on us...that is for sure! The kids complain that we are no fun at all...they can't get away with anything, or manipulate us...they tell us that their other friends with divorced parents get away with everything...oh...sad.
Last edited by jasper12; 11-29-2010 at 03:11 PM..
Reason: edit
Aconite, there are families who do not do this. I know. I grew up in one. It is not "duh" to those children who have now grown up and have children of their own. In fact, the things I have learned about relationships especially with one's own children have shaken me to my core. Sometimes I think, what if I didn't want to improve and never sought different POVs? I can't imagine where my daughter and I would be right now.
I'm sure there are families who do not. There are people who do all sorts of appalling things. However, I'm guessing those people are also not the ones who are likely to read parenting articles or books, either.
I'm sorry you were parented poorly, and I'm glad you want to do better by your daughter. You are to be commended. I still expect that, for most people, that list would be intuitive....or maybe I'm just getting crotchety in my old age. It seems like many of the younger parents I know need more instruction than most, which leads me to assume that perhaps there were a lot of people born in the seventies who were themselves badly parented.
well this list is what we all HOPE children are getting, but look at the thread about those 5 kids who no one even knew existed and you will see that there is no "DUH" about it. some people just have a skewed view of life/reality, maybe because of upbringing, or mental illness, or having a child you really didnt want or were not mentally prepared for.
So...I preface this by saying that I'm not religious and didn't grow up in a church. However, studies have shown that religion is good for kids, probably because it emphasizes a lot of the other things on the list.
it's all good not counting number 9..the spiritual part will come naturally, the religion part is something they should choose if they want, when they are old enough to make their own choice..
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