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And since you dont know too much about foreclosure/bankruptcy. One is able to be obtain a mortgage after 3 years via FHA. Also, there is a non for profit company called NACA that will qualify you even sooner....Look it up hun. Ive been a member since the summer. And on top of that, the credit union I belong to in NC does portfolio mortgages, non conforming and that is another option. I am not worried about that. That part is already figured.
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https://www.naca.com/members/purchaseStep.jsp
Identified below the common documents required for the Home Save Program. Provide as many of the following documents to your Mortgage Consultant.
Bank Statements – last three months
Pay Stubs – last 30 days
W-2 – current job
Photo ID
Items listed on your Task List
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And on top of that, the credit union I belong to in NC does portfolio mortgages, non conforming and that is another option. I am not worried about that. That part is already figured.
Really, you have poor credit and no job in NC. Perhaps the lending market has tightened for everyone but you.
HEY!!!!!!!!!! Let get this state, I didnt post this for people to argue over the fact that there are parents who use the system to keep the children from the other parent. this does happen, Im not talking, about unfit parents, no one, knows outtaNJ whole story, so NO ONE can judge I dont care if you have your kids, or NOT!! you walk one mile in her shoes before judging, this is bul$$#$%, whats the matter with this world, that good decent people, cant come together for suppose instead of bashing!!! SHAME ON YOU !!!!
HEY!!!!!!!!!! Let get this state, I didnt post this for people to argue over the fact that there are parents who use the system to keep the children from the other parent. this does happen, Im not talking, about unfit parents, no one, knows outtaNJ whole story, so NO ONE can judge I dont care if you have your kids, or NOT!! you walk one mile in her shoes before judging, this is bul$$#$%, whats the matter with this world, that good decent people, cant come together for suppose instead of bashing!!! SHAME ON YOU !!!!
Did you read the entire prior thread? This person has some serious issues. Pay very close attention to the dates (OP was 2/2009, with no responses from 2/21/2009 until 12/2/2010).
and I qoute from the original post: "I ended up moving in with a complete stranger, a woman i met on the internet who owns a home. "
She lived in an urban area near / where she grew up. She needed to move in with a stranger 1.5 hours away. There were no sane extended family nor friends of any sort where she could stay so she moved in with someone she met on the internet.
Further,
1. They initially agreed to no CS.
2. She left
3. The father agreed to let her move to NC after proclaiming she was a lesbian (nothing against lesbians, but it does make for a difficult marriage - trust me, I know).
4. The father only filed for custody AFTER she lost the house in NC, not before. He was awarded $1,000/mo in CS (by her own admission).
5. The father makes $60k/yr, presumably as a realtor.
6. I went to the NJ CS calculator website and $1,000/mo CS for her means she was making roughly $60k/yr in NC.
7. She up and leaves that gig and moves back to NJ. It is real safe to assume she wasn't working at the McDonalds drive-thru window in NJ. So what happened? Why did she leave a good job in NJ, take a good job in NC, then be unable to find anything remotely similar for 2+ years? Waht about the employer in NJ she left? No references? And people just don't walk out on a $60k/yr job. Or maybe, just maybe, the $1000/mo CS is BS.
Any way you cut it, there is a lot more here than meets the eye.
Did you read the entire prior thread? This person has some serious issues. Pay very close attention to the dates (OP was 2/2009, with no responses from 2/21/2009 until 12/2/2010).
and I qoute from the original post: "I ended up moving in with a complete stranger, a woman i met on the internet who owns a home. "
She lived in an urban area near / where she grew up. She needed to move in with a stranger 1.5 hours away. There were no sane extended family nor friends of any sort where she could stay so she moved in with someone she met on the internet.
Further,
1. They initially agreed to no CS.
2. She left
3. The father agreed to let her move to NC after proclaiming she was a lesbian (nothing against lesbians, but it does make for a difficult marriage - trust me, I know).
4. The father only filed for custody AFTER she lost the house in NC, not before. He was awarded $1,000/mo in CS (by her own admission).
5. The father makes $60k/yr, presumably as a realtor.
6. I went to the NJ CS calculator website and $1,000/mo CS for her means she was making roughly $60k/yr in NC.
7. She up and leaves that gig and moves back to NJ. It is real safe to assume she wasn't working at the McDonalds drive-thru window in NJ. So what happened? Why did she leave a good job in NJ, take a good job in NC, then be unable to find anything remotely similar for 2+ years? Waht about the employer in NJ she left? No references? And people just don't walk out on a $60k/yr job. Or maybe, just maybe, the $1000/mo CS is BS.
Any way you cut it, there is a lot more here than meets the eye.
I understood! the whole situation, I was saying/what I Meant is whether or not one parent makes a wrong decision, doesnt mean the other parent should use the system over the other parents head for control out of anger thats what my point is!!! there is not one parent out her in this world from one time or another that they make a not so smart decision, some parents dont have any alternative, choices and in there current situations! that doesnt make them a bad parent, Im speaking in general, I work closely enough with these types, and I see the system allows a parent to do this due to the fact one parent has money and the other one, not as much, which should be irrelevant, as long as the child has healthy food, warm clean clothes, and a roof over there head, is what matters, but see if the other parent has a bigger home, cars, money, the children are often put in there care, and more times, then not, that parent hires, others to watch there children, or marry to have someone else parent the children, just out of power and control! this does happen if your not aware of it, and its a shame, for the children involved, they are raised with feelings, of neglect, why doesnt daddy or mommy love me, or see me as much? I dont care what job a person works, as long as there working to provide, doing there best, for there children is what matters!
Look I feel sorry for you that you lost your kids, and I can only imagine how hard it must be to not see them as much as you want, but ultimately your kids would be better off if you found a way to work with the current situation instead of trying to change it.
Why not look for a job and home in the same town as your ex? Then you could effectively share custody. Your kids wouldn't have to change schools, nobody would have to pay child support. I can't imagine any judge would award you full custody to move them across the country now given your history, so instead of exhausting yourself and your finances, and putting your kids through all of this, why not try to be more flexible and adapt to the situation that you ultimately brought on by asking him to look after them initially when you first planned to move?
In my opinion you are fighting a battle you will never win. And I'm not sure you should win it - you clearly have had a lot of problems and your kids are probably quite settled now. That's the problem with these custody battles - you are so engrossed in your own side of the story that you can't see it from any other perspective, least of all that of your kids.
I understood! the whole situation, I was saying/what I Meant is whether or not one parent makes a wrong decision, doesnt mean the other parent should use the system over the other parents head for control out of anger thats what my point is!!! there is not one parent out her in this world from one time or another that they make a not so smart decision, some parents dont have any alternative, choices and in there current situations! that doesnt make them a bad parent, Im speaking in general, I work closely enough with these types, and I see the system allows a parent to do this due to the fact one parent has money and the other one, not as much, which should be irrelevant, as long as the child has healthy food, warm clean clothes, and a roof over there head, is what matters, but see if the other parent has a bigger home, cars, money, the children are often put in there care, and more times, then not, that parent hires, others to watch there children, or marry to have someone else parent the children, just out of power and control! this does happen if your not aware of it, and its a shame, for the children involved, they are raised with feelings, of neglect, why doesnt daddy or mommy love me, or see me as much? I dont care what job a person works, as long as there working to provide, doing there best, for there children is what matters!
Reread everything on both threads very closely. Very closely. Please.
Reread everything on both threads very closely. Very closely. Please.
ok I have reread through everything, first I wanna say I have 5 beautiful children that i love dearly, I truly believe that children need both parents, in there lives,, under the exception abuse etc. I without judgement did here her say over and over me me me, which is selfish, however I understand being a mom, the desire to be with your children, I dont know her, and my heart goes out to her I dont judge any of her faults which i do see where she went wrong, in leaving in the first place, where im coming from is, coulda shoula woulda, she needs, support to guide her in making right decisions, I agree she would do better moving to the town the kids, are in, find a job and a place and get 50 50 custody for the children!
All bashing aside...OP...get a job close to your kids, find a stable living arrangement, become a part of their lives, I repeat...their lives. From everything you have said, it sounds like Dad is doing a good job. The kids not being allowed into the bedroom he shares with his girlfriend does not equal abuse or neglect. My daughter is not allowed in our bedroom without knocking. I don't think thats abuse, I think it is normal. I wouldn't want her walking in on her stepdad dressing.
If Dad is doing a good job then let him do it. Get yourself together and see your kids as often as possible. If down the road you are stable enough to have them then hire a lawyer and try to get them back.
You are their mother. No one will ever replace you. But, you need to get yourself together before you can even think about being the custodial parent again.
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