U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-02-2010, 01:05 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,045,822 times
Reputation: 1726

Advertisements

What if you teen decides the path you follow isn't for them, would you allow them to look into other things, and if so at what age?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-02-2010, 01:17 PM
 
11,636 posts, read 20,865,833 times
Reputation: 12183
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
What if you teen decides the path you follow isn't for them, would you allow them to look into other things, and if so at what age?
How could you stop them?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-02-2010, 01:27 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,045,822 times
Reputation: 1726
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
How could you stop them?
Well i mean more like they have no interest in going to your church/temple/circle anymore and want to start doing their own thing. But i have known parents who will confiscat any material in regards to another belief system their kids follow or want to because of the ideal that "In this house you follow our belief system".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-02-2010, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,138 posts, read 23,739,107 times
Reputation: 37824
I think it is natural for parents to guide a child in their belief system and have practices they follow as a family (ie, if we go to church, whomever is home is expected to attend, it is something we choose to do as a family). That said, my DH and I are different denominations (within the same religion) and the church we attend is neither of those denominations...so...I have no problem with anyone questioning, researching or choosing a different path. As long as they are good people and lead a healthy life, how (or if) they choose to express themselves spiritually really is up to them as they get older. When we are at my parent's homes or my husband's parent's home, we respectfully attend the services they do. I would expect the same from my kids as they get older, whatever they choose for themselves.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-02-2010, 01:47 PM
 
4,557 posts, read 9,896,713 times
Reputation: 3892
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
But i have known parents who will confiscat any material in regards to another belief system their kids follow or want to because of the ideal that "In this house you follow our belief system".
Which will generally backfire. I know in my case it did.

I have no problem with my son looking into whatever he wants to look into. I wouldn't want him to just follow what we do (or in our case, don't do) just because that's what we do. Right now (at 17) he has no interest. We have in fact encouraged him to read about different beliefs/religions, if for nothing else, to be able to understand where others are coming from.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-02-2010, 01:49 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,045,822 times
Reputation: 1726
Quote:
Originally Posted by jkcoop View Post
Which will generally backfire. I know in my case it did.

I have no problem with my son looking into whatever he wants to look into. I wouldn't want him to just follow what we do (or in our case, don't do) just because that's what we do. Right now (at 17) he has no interest. We have in fact encouraged him to read about different beliefs/religions, if for nothing else, to be able to understand where others are coming from.

The same went for my grandmother trying to keep my mother as catholic as possible.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-02-2010, 01:50 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
15,785 posts, read 25,742,090 times
Reputation: 21286
YES, We teach out children what was taught to us. If they want to explore other options, thats a part of growing up and developing. I have no problem with it.

But in reality, we are really being brainwashed about religion, as our parents were, as their parents were and so on and so on...

I am getting to the point in life that I think religion has been a problem for mankind since day one. I also think it is un-necessary. It seems to be the biggest problem on Earth...
I believe in God, that's enough for me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-02-2010, 02:00 PM
 
32,525 posts, read 31,461,589 times
Reputation: 32389
We brought ours up as Christians. But as a family we had friends who were/are athiests, Mormons, Hindus, Jews, Buddhists, Quakers, Sikhs... whatever. (It's L.A. People worship asteroids in L.A.) If they wanted to go with a friend to a service we never had a problem with it. (We did steer them away from a few "religions/belief systems" that we were very uncomfortable with. And which shall remain nameless because that's for another thread.)

My best friend is a pagan and they knew that from the time they were little. She has no children so she is the "favorite aunt" and they always knew her faith was different. No biggee. We never "allowed" them to look into other religions. It was a given that they could if they wanted to. But we did establish a very strong belief in the Christian religion. We went to church as a family and prayed at home as a family. There was always a Bible or two or six to pick up and read and Christian books/magazines. Each of them attend Christian churches today.

Last edited by DewDropInn; 12-02-2010 at 03:18 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-02-2010, 02:11 PM
 
1,173 posts, read 4,199,287 times
Reputation: 1332
I'm atheist but I do not want to deny my son the right to follow a faith if he so chooses. Whenever he starts to show an interest in exploring a religion I have no issues in allowing him to explore the religion; depending on his age and the religion he is interested in I will either find a family member or friend to take him to services and explore, attend with him or allow him to attend alone. If he wants to explore anything remotely off the beaten path I will 100% be in attendance with him since I would hate to discover too late that it's a cult. I make an effort not make any skeptical remarks to him or around him but he's only 4 and religion and related items come up very rarely; we'll see how long I can bite my tongue.

However I do have one rule and it goes for all people I interact with NO PROSELYTIZING, I have zero tolerance for that. So if he chooses to follow a different belief system he is welcome to and even welcome to talk about what he is learning but no encouraging (harrassing) others especially myself to join.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-02-2010, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,496 posts, read 45,044,508 times
Reputation: 47401
whenever they show an interest
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top