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Old 12-06-2010, 07:31 AM
 
2,776 posts, read 3,581,987 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Is it actually against the law in most states for two underaged people to have sex with one another? I don't know what the law is in my state. I know the age of consent is 18 in most cases and 17 in some cases but I don't know if it is an actual crime for 2 15 year olds to have sex with one another. Even if it were a crime I would not be willing to give my child a criminal record over consensual sex.

By me a few teenage girls(14, 15 or so) have been arrested and charged with sending child pornography after sending nude pics of themselves.

Not sure if any have served jail time or had been sentenced yet, but the newspaper article mentioned they will have to register as sex offenders(since its a felony) afterwards if found guilty.

 
Old 12-06-2010, 07:36 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,846,111 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kreutz View Post
By me a few teenage girls(14, 15 or so) have been arrested and charged with sending child pornography after sending nude pics of themselves.

Not sure if any have served jail time or had been sentenced yet, but the newspaper article mentioned they will have to register as sex offenders(since its a felony) afterwards if found guilty.

They generally work out deals to make sure they don't have to. But you are starting to see states craft legislation to make these things misdemeanors.
 
Old 12-06-2010, 07:59 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX, USA
5,142 posts, read 13,078,561 times
Reputation: 2515
I remember in high school that who I thought were my best friends spread a rumor about me that my parents caught me with a boyfriend in my parents bedroom and that's why my parents were so strict because of that incident.
Don't know how that would happen if they were strict to begin with! SMH!
For those dads that are strict with their daughters, word spreads among the boys at school. All the boys at high school knew my parents were strict so they didn't even bother asking me out. Why go through all the trouble with me when there were plenty of girls at my school who had parents that were less strict and were able to date, etc.?
I sometimes didn't like it but looking back at it, it sure saved me a lot of grief.
 
Old 12-06-2010, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,307 posts, read 38,690,548 times
Reputation: 7185
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
And all you will do is ensure they go off and have sex....and sneak in your house and do it when you are at work...and do generally the opposite of what you want them to do. But hey go right ahead and do that .
Which is something that I have no control over and kids are going to do exactly opposite of what you want them to do completely without regard to the relative levels of parental leniency. The point is not to have utter control - that's impossible. The point is to maintain rules. If they go elsewhere to have sex, then they are at least recognizing that there are rules.

Where would you draw the line?

"It's okay for you two to have sex in my house, it's okay to have a few drinks with friends, but NO REEFER!"

The above would be arbitrary. Balance is good in parenting but parents that do not draw their lines in the sand at logical places are not doing their kids any favors. That is parenting full of mixed-messages and it is likely to create someone who leaves the parents' home believing that the world is a consequence-free environment. I don't want my kids to learn about consequences completely on their own and my job is not to be a friend. If they are going to break my rules, that is their decision. If they don't get caught, congratulations to them; they pulled one over on an old man. If they do get caught, they're in deep...
 
Old 12-06-2010, 09:38 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,846,111 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimboburnsy View Post
Which is something that I have no control over and kids are going to do exactly opposite of what you want them to do completely without regard to the relative levels of parental leniency. The point is not to have utter control - that's impossible. The point is to maintain rules. If they go elsewhere to have sex, then they are at least recognizing that there are rules.

Where would you draw the line?

"It's okay for you two to have sex in my house, it's okay to have a few drinks with friends, but NO REEFER!"

The above would be arbitrary. Balance is good in parenting but parents that do not draw their lines in the sand at logical places are not doing their kids any favors. That is parenting full of mixed-messages and it is likely to create someone who leaves the parents' home believing that the world is a consequence-free environment. I don't want my kids to learn about consequences completely on their own and my job is not to be a friend. If they are going to break my rules, that is their decision. If they don't get caught, congratulations to them; they pulled one over on an old man. If they do get caught, they're in deep...

You can have consequences of course as long as you state them out. If you catch your daughter doing it after you explained not in the house then you are free to punish. But punishing her by taking her door off if you have never even discussed it with her is going to show her you don't even trust her and breed resentment.
 
Old 12-06-2010, 09:39 AM
 
224 posts, read 687,016 times
Reputation: 185
Default Use your brain.

Quote:
Originally Posted by $hayT93 View Post
But that's not what you said at first, you should have been more clear and say you would talk to HER about HIS promiscuity. All you said was "I would talk to her about the responsibilities that come alongwith promiscuity" nowhere in that post did you mention it was his promiscuity you were talking about. Even I took the post out of context because you weren't clear.
I shouldn't have to break it down into crayons, geez. Any one with a brain should be able to distinguish what I would talk about with her. I think that simple sentence speaks volumes.

"I would talk to her about the responsibilities that come along with promiscuity."

I shouldn't have to get technical and list every little thing that would be talked about. I shouldn't have to S-P-E-L-L out every little thing, because a very select few can't seem to grasp what was meant by what was said, or because someone makes close minded assumptions.

But then I guess, you're always gonna have those few who sniff around all these posts like they are litte red fire hydrants. Here's a thought... Have some common courtesy for the rest of us: and

Remember your pooper scooper.
 
Old 12-06-2010, 09:40 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,846,111 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by skeet09 View Post
I remember in high school that who I thought were my best friends spread a rumor about me that my parents caught me with a boyfriend in my parents bedroom and that's why my parents were so strict because of that incident.
Don't know how that would happen if they were strict to begin with! SMH!
For those dads that are strict with their daughters, word spreads among the boys at school. All the boys at high school knew my parents were strict so they didn't even bother asking me out. Why go through all the trouble with me when there were plenty of girls at my school who had parents that were less strict and were able to date, etc.?
I sometimes didn't like it but looking back at it, it sure saved me a lot of grief.

it depends on the girl not the parents though. There are many girls which super strict parents who are the most godawful wild children around.
 
Old 12-06-2010, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,307 posts, read 38,690,548 times
Reputation: 7185
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
You can have consequences of course as long as you state them out. If you catch your daughter doing it after you explained not in the house then you are free to punish. But punishing her by taking her door off if you have never even discussed it with her is going to show her you don't even trust her and breed resentment.
I thought the whole premise of this thread was that there was an "open door" policy?
 
Old 12-06-2010, 10:52 AM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 9,250,521 times
Reputation: 3165
Since there are rules in our house for our kids and one of those rules is very clearly stated as "no sex in the house" then if one of my kids had gotten caught having sex, there would be no more boyfriend/girlfriend over while parents aren't home, no doors shut, and when I went to bed the kid would go home. I would not be okay if I caught my child having sex in my house. It would be completely disrespectful to my husband myself and they all know this. So if they chose to break the rules then there would be consequences.
 
Old 12-06-2010, 11:30 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,846,111 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimboburnsy View Post
I thought the whole premise of this thread was that there was an "open door" policy?

If your daughter has been told when her bf is in the house the door is open and she violates it then yes i agree take it off. I personally don't see the point in the rule as it doesn't keep her from having sex but whatever floats someones boat.
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