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Because part of my job as a mother is to be her guide and mentor. I often tell her that she'll have many, many years as a grown-up but only a few short years as a child and that she should enjoy them. To me, and I'm clearly in the minority here, coloring one's hair is more of a grown-up activity.
If you are I'm in the minority with you Though I do understand that being a responsible parent instead of just your childs friend is becoming less and less the norm - to the detriment of us all.
I'd let her do it, but warn her that it will be permanent until she cuts it out. Even semi-permanent colors, which I would recommend in her case, don't gradually wash out if you use a color that is darker than your natural shade.
She isn't really a child anymore...and certainly when she is 14 she won't be. And i agree you are the mentor, but her doing her hair isn't a grownup activity. Letting her do these little things to experiment with growing up helps avoid larger things in life.
Of course she's still a child. Not the same as an 8-year-old, but not the same as a 16-year-old either.
What "larger things in life" am I helping her to avoid?
A responsible parent doing their best to guide their young daughter into womanhood doesn't need a "logical" reason to say no, just an appropriate reason.
Letting a child in middle school start coloring their hair is very irresponsible because it robs them of their childhood and allows them to do things they are years away from being mature enough to understand the consequences of.
What consequences? And robbing them of what childhood how? What is more childlike then doing goofy things for fun? Or doing things to just see how they turn out? And once you are in middle school you are pretty much robbed of what is left of childhood anyway in this day and age. And an appropriate reason should always be logical .
Of course she's still a child. Not the same as an 8-year-old, but not the same as a 16-year-old either.
What "larger things in life" am I helping her to avoid?
No she is on the path to becoming a young adult but she is not really a child either...somewhere in between. Because if you crack down on every little thing she wants to do...she will eventually rebel over things. Part of being a parent is recognizing that kids do grow up and you need to allow them to allow them little things to make them feel like they are.
If you are I'm in the minority with you Though I do understand that being a responsible parent instead of just your childs friend is becoming less and less the norm - to the detriment of us all.
I don't believe in being my childrens friend either. But i also understand that allowing them to do little things that make them feel like they are growing up is a good thing.
If you are I'm in the minority with you Though I do understand that being a responsible parent instead of just your childs friend is becoming less and less the norm - to the detriment of us all.
Years ago a friend told me that with a child, "No's" are like fences. They keep them in and keep them safe. You wouldn't let your child wander out of your yard by themselves and you don't let them wander through childhood without secure boundaries. As they get older, the fences move further and further out, til they're gone altogether. We're just moving their boundaries out more slowly than other parents. I don't think it's a problem.
Well, we won't agree on this one. God gave kids parents for a reason. The parents do what they think is best. Not all parents parent their children the same and have different expectations or boundries.
In MY house, I am the mother and she is the child. She can wait until high school to start messing with her hair. Some parents would be ok if their kid made a huge mistake, hated their hair and had to live with it. I wouldn't do that to my daughter. If she hated her hair and it looked awful I would fix it for her. But not at 13 years old.
You wash it out lol....i messed up my hair a few times and had to wash it out. And making mistakes and living with the consequences is part of life.
No she is on the path to becoming a young adult but she is not really a child either...somewhere in between. Because if you crack down on every little thing she wants to do...she will eventually rebel over things. Part of being a parent is recognizing that kids do grow up and you need to allow them to allow them little things to make them feel like they are.
Little things: what clothes/style to wear, which earings, short or long hair, decorating their room, shoes, music, activities (choir, band, sports, cheerleading), friends, ect.
They have all kinds of things that they get to chose. An extream hair color change is not one of them in my house.
No she is on the path to becoming a young adult but she is not really a child either...somewhere in between. Because if you crack down on every little thing she wants to do...she will eventually rebel over things. Part of being a parent is recognizing that kids do grow up and you need to allow them to allow them little things to make them feel like they are.
Yes. "On the path" is the key. She's not there yet. I hardly crack down on every little thing she wants to do. She shaves her legs, gets mani's/pedi's, chooses her own clothes, just went to her first school dance.
She's just not going to dye her hair yet.
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Though I do understand that being a responsible parent instead of just your childs friend is becoming less and less the norm - to the detriment of us all.
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