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If he isn't 18 then they will just force his parents to take him back in and press charges.
As I said, I'm seeing what I can do ASIDE from calling CYS.
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80
I understand he stole from your son, but still letting him live on the street because of it is a tad harsh....
He's not on the streets now. They kicked him out into the streets.
He is staying at another friend's house. Those parents don't want him to stay permanently, but he is currently being provided shelter and food for now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80
...given i can see why they kid might have problems.
I understand that. But I've done everything for this kid. His stealing from my son is like biting the hand that feeds him.
I can't just ignore that he stole from my son. My son has a right to chose who he associates with.
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Originally Posted by paganmama80
He could try to emcipate but that takes time, and chances are he would be 18 by the time it happens.
Emancipation isn't a possibility. He's not capable of taking care of himself----financially and maturity-wise. He has a lot of growing up to do
Quote:
Originally Posted by VBmom
If the state finds out he will more than likely be put into state custody and taken away from both parents. He would be put in a foster home. Poor kid...doesn't stand a chance with both parents fighting that they don't want him. I can't even imagine kicking my kid out when still a minor.
Thank you for being concerned about him. Every kid needs someone who cares.
Yeah, it's been a very sad year for him. These latest developments are just breaking my heart.
I'm not sure he could petition for it on his own but if he were living with another adult, that adult could petition for support from the parents.
We were wondering about that. The family he is staying with is very poor. They have no problem with him being there whatsoever other than the fact they can't afford it. Just having him there for the past two weeks has been a serious strain on them. Can they petition for support even if they aren't official guardians?
As I said, I'm seeing what I can do ASIDE from calling CYS.
Why not call CYS? That's why they are there. They help kids who are not being cared for properly get care.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
Emancipation isn't a possibility. He's not capable of taking care of himself----financially and maturity-wise. He has a lot of growing up to do
Yeah, it's been a very sad year for him. These latest developments are just breaking my heart.
Honestly, once he graduates from high school he will be on his own. Most states do not require parental support after a child graduates from high school. Perhaps CYS can help him get ready to support himself. It really does NOT matter whether he is ready or not. If his parents won't support him (I would LOVE to hear why) he will have to support himself.
We were wondering about that. The family he is staying with is very poor. They have no problem with him being there whatsoever other than the fact they can't afford it. Just having him there for the past two weeks has been a serious strain on them. Can they petition for support even if they aren't official guardians?
I think they would have to become official guardians but it might not be that hard to do since both parents are washing their hands of him. To get support they would have to go through the courts anyway so they could probably petition for guardianship and support at the same time.
I think you should not rely on this forum to give you precise legal advice for your state. If you want to help him surely there is an agency short of child protection who can guide you on how to help. You are to be commended on your caring attitude. Is this the kid you took in some time ago or another kid?
How sad he is so close to finishing high school ( I assume he graduates in May or June) and neither of his parents can bite the bullet for a few months.
A child advocate is not a lawyer (although I'm sure some of them have law degrees and licenses to practice, that isn't their function when they put their advocate hat on). They're court-appointed citizens who assist the courts in helping to determine the best outcome for a given child-custody case with particular regard to an abusive and neglectful home life. They assist not on the mother's behalf or the father's behalf, but on the child's behalf.
If a boy is -that- bad off that both parents are kicking him out and wanting to abdicate responsibility of their own son, there really has to be something more to it than just a bratty misbehaving child. There's got to be something in the family dynamic causing this behavior.
However, their website also has information on resources for kids who have no court custody hearing, but might still need help.
Why not call CYS? That's why they are there. They help kids who are not being cared for properly get care.
I'll do it if necessary. I'm trying to avoid his being moved from the school district during his senior year.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear
Honestly, once he graduates from high school he will be on his own. Most states do not require parental support after a child graduates from high school. Perhaps CYS can help him get ready to support himself. It really does NOT matter whether he is ready or not. If his parents won't support him, he will have to support himself.
I realize that. I took him out to eat dinner last night, and had a long hard talk with him about realizing his situation is dire and needing to start taking responsibility for himself. He is in la la land. His hours at work were cut back to practically nothing because he was always calling off to socialize. I had a talk with him about responsibilities come first. I told him having freedom doesn't mean he can have fun all the time----having freedom means having responsibilities. Basically, this is the main thing that annoys the family that he stays with. He's clueless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear
(I would LOVE to hear why)
I guess it's tough love. I can see why they were frustrated with him. He's irresponsible, selfish, and has his head in the clouds. He didn't respond to strict discipline and he didn't respond to having freedom. (One parent tried on way, the other parent tried the other way.)
The tipping point was not paying any payments towards a car. The car was taken away, and he still didn't make any payments towards it to either parent. Both parents have gone through this with him about this darn car. Anyways, they just threw up their hands and kicked him out.
I don't know if they are hoping he will come to his senses and come back begging. He won't go back begging because he doesn't know if they would take him back. Alternately, he doesn't want to go back. He has some crazy idea that he's "out on his own."
It's all just madness. He's a likable kid. He just doesn't seem very bright. If something isn't clearly spelled out for him, he doesn't 'get' it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skahar
I think they would have to become official guardians but it might not be that hard to do since both parents are washing their hands of him. To get support they would have to go through the courts anyway so they could probably petition for guardianship and support at the same time.
That's what I was thinking. We'll see if finances are their main problem or if they are using it as an excuse, which is their right.
I think you should not rely on this forum to give you precise legal advice for your state. If you want to help him surely there is an agency short of child protection who can guide you on how to help.
I know. Everything is closed because it's the weekend. I'm just hoping to find some ideas so I can hit the ground running on Monday morning.
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Originally Posted by no kudzu
You are to be commended on your caring attitude. Is this the kid you took in some time ago or another kid?
No. This is a different kid. The one I took in is doing fine. Remember there were two at once? A girl who needed a safe place until basic training for the reserves? She went through basic training this summer, her military schooling, and she's now living at college. The boy worked things out with his parents over the summer and things are going well for them at home.
I must live in some crazy area of the world with how many children I know who have been kicked out this past year. My son's guidance counselor says it's very common during senior year.
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu
How sad he is so close to finishing high school ( I assume he graduates in May or June) and neither of his parents can bite the bullet for a few months.
I know! I can't even understand putting them out into the street at 18, but to do it before graduating high school is even more cruel.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick
A child advocate is not a lawyer (although I'm sure some of them have law degrees and licenses to practice, that isn't their function when they put their advocate hat on). They're court-appointed citizens who assist the courts in helping to determine the best outcome for a given child-custody case with particular regard to an abusive and neglectful home life. They assist not on the mother's behalf or the father's behalf, but on the child's behalf.
I assumed as much. I used to be a PFA advocate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick
If a boy is -that- bad off that both parents are kicking him out and wanting to abdicate responsibility of their own son, there really has to be something more to it than just a bratty misbehaving child. There's got to be something in the family dynamic causing this behavior.
I did. I also found the website for the local CASA in my city. They're closed for the weekend. The 24 hour phone numbers are to CYS---I talked to a women at that number. We weighed some options. I wasn't ready to take the step and report it yet.
I also talked to my neighbor who is the director of foster care earlier today. She wasn't able to offer me any insight other than to call CYS.
Really, CYS looks like the best solution if I can get a guarantee that he can stay in the school district. If he's in the foster system when he's 18, he'll qualify for all sorts of help with education. I just really need to know all of the options before I take that leap.
I guess it's tough love. I can see why they were frustrated with him. He's irresponsible, selfish, and has his head in the clouds. He didn't respond to strict discipline and he didn't respond to having freedom. (One parent tried on way, the other parent tried the other way.)
Sounds like he learned it from his parents. What the hell kind of parents toss their kid back and forth between one another like he is a piece of unwanted furniture? I don't care how irresponsible, selfish, ect he is. He is UNDERAGE and it is his PARENTS responsibility to teach him how to gain those traits/skills. Sounds like they gave up when the tough got going. ****ty parents if you ask me. No wonder why the kid has issues. He doesn't even have parents that give a damn.
Now, had this kid already graduated high school and then started this crap, no job, ect, kicking him out would be a little bit more reasonable. However, you DO NOT do this to a kid still in high school! Those parents should be arrested IMHO because had he ran away, they could have him arrested at his age. If he doesn't show up to school, they could be the ones who get in trouble with the law.
Sounds like he learned it from his parents. What the hell kind of parents toss their kid back and forth between one another like he is a piece of unwanted furniture? I don't care how irresponsible, selfish, ect he is. He is UNDERAGE and it is his PARENTS responsibility to teach him how to gain those traits/skills. Sounds like they gave up when the tough got going. ****ty parents if you ask me. No wonder why the kid has issues. He doesn't even have parents that give a damn.
I know. I'm just trying to explain their view because MommaBear asked. He's not perfect, but he's sweet and he doesn't deserve to be treated like dirt.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEOhioBound
Now, had this kid already graduated high school and then started this crap, no job, ect, kicking him out would be a little bit more reasonable. However, you DO NOT do this to a kid still in high school! Those parents should be arrested IMHO because had he ran away, they could have him arrested at his age. If he doesn't show up to school, they could be the ones who get in trouble with the law.
I was wondering about that. Kicking him back and forth all year was abuse. Kicking him out with nowhere to live is abandonment. But I doubt anything will happen to them. The worst that will likely happen is they will have to pay the state child support. That doesn't seem like a strong enough punishment. I wonder if only the parent with custody will have to pay the state child support. I think both parents need to be punished.
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