What to do if you think your child overspent on a Christmas gift? (teenager, parent)

[skahar]

I found out my 17yo DD spent way too much on a gift for me this year. My first instinct was to have DH make her take it back, but then I start thinking will that be rude or make her feel bad or even make her think she should always look out for herself rather than do something special for someone else?

I'm kinda torn as to what to do, it was a ton of money ($300) and she should not be spending that kind of money with college only 7 months away, on the other hand I know how good it feels to do something really special for someone else.

What would you do or have done in similar situations?

[didee]

When I was a teenager, one Christmas I bought something for my mother that I knew she loved and wanted. It was in a whole different $ range from any gift I had ever given anyone, but in my mind, it was the perfect thing. I knew it was a lot of money for me to spend, but I really wanted to do it. (I was financially responsible for a kid BTW). Plus, there was no way anyone would have made me return it....neither my mom nor dad knew what I bought her until Christmas morning.

It gave me so much joy to give her that gift. (I was probably happier about it than she was.)

Let her do it for you. How sweet.

[DewDropInn]

Say nothing.

You have a daughter who wants to do something special for you because she loves you! Think about how wonderful that is. Of course you're worried about the money she spent. Because she's your daughter and you love her and you worry about her. But life is short and love between mother and daughter doesn't always happen. But for the two of you it did through a combination of good luck, good parenting, good genes and the grace of God. You have a special Christmas coming. Embrace it. And her.

[Momma_bear]

Let her spend her money the way she wants. Be really happy and excited when you get the gift. I think it's great that she wants to show you some appreciation.

[omigawd]

What did she buy you?

[phonelady61]

Oh wow Im torn on this one because I spent money on my mother for xmas and she got mad and she took it back to the store that was the last time I celebrated christmas with anyone . My husband and I really do agree on christmas . See this is why I hate this time of year because it causes hurt feelings and too much money is spent . My mother gave me the money back but to tell you the money did not matter to me . So I guess im saying the money would not matter to her . But do want you want to do , you are the parent and have the final say so .

[skahar]

I think it is incredibly sweet that she would think enough of me to buy me something that expensive (she's kind of a miser) and I am not mad at her for doing it, I just worry that the money could be better spent on things that she'll need when she starts college.

I think you guys are right and I should leave it be and be incredibly thankful and happy on Christmas.

[no kudzu]

My father bought his mother a nice gift for Christmas when he was a little boy. It could not have been expensive as it was the depression but he earned it and wanted to do something nice. Well his mother got very angry, cussed him out about how irresponsible he was with his hard earned money and crushed his spirit.

He never forgot how this made him feel and quite frankly I think it ruined his spirit of giving for the rest of his life. You can only imagine the kind of mother who would ruin christmas and a small boy's anticipation by cussing him out right at the christmas tree on christmas morning. Please don't say anything and let her gift you as she pleases. She has plenty of time to figure out financial lessons.

[gimme it]

You have a wonderful, generous daughter.

[captain_hug99]

Let her spend her money. Later, have a great talk about budgeting to make sure she won't run up a ton of credit card debt and maybe find a way to give her back some of the money she spent on you.