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Old 12-15-2010, 07:41 PM
 
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You are complaining about 32+ hours a week! Try 50-60+/wk and then get back to me
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Old 12-15-2010, 07:49 PM
 
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She works more than 32 hours a week.

32 hours at BBB
15 hours nanny
+ extra hours nannying as needed

She is scheduled to work 47 hours per week. And she works more than 47 hours because she works extra hours nannying.

Sheduled 47 hours with up to 57 hours and more on a regular basis.

It's the deal she made. She just wants a schedule and warning.
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Old 12-15-2010, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,256 posts, read 23,874,016 times
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Quote:
not extravagant trips to paris
Extravagance is relative. You have a brand new car and a smartphone. Those were extravagant choices given your situation. And now, you need to figure out how to live with one unpleasantness or another to pay for those extravagances. What are you willing to compromise on and to what extent. Make a list. That's where you begin. Draw up a list of things -"must haves" and "would be nice"..

Last edited by maciesmom; 12-15-2010 at 07:59 PM.. Reason: sp
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Old 12-15-2010, 07:50 PM
 
32,525 posts, read 31,619,701 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psr13 View Post
Oh no, 32 hours a week. Sorry, but that argument won't garner any sympathy from me. My husband works three jobs, and never works under 40 hours a week. Some of the other stuff is fine to gripe about, but that is not.
Nor from me. I worked two jobs in college, plus volunteer work, plus a full course load. And one of those jobs had me standing on my feet the whole time, saying "Yes, Sir!", "No, Mam!" all evening then washing their dirty dishes until midnight. First class was 7:30 in the morning.

After I got married I was paying most of the bills because my husband was just back from Vietnam and people weren't exactly lining up to give those men jobs back then. So he was going to school and working where and when he could. Do not get me started on dealing with his PTSD at 3am.

And the corker is we thought we were supposed to work hard and struggle. All of our friends were. Nobody I knew had a family member who could afford to cash out bonds and buy us new cars. We were all students. Everyone was broke. Half the guys we knew and ate beans and franks with were keeping their wives awake with nightmares.

On another note:

Didn't txtqueen say at one time her grandmother was also dishing out $$ for college?
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Old 12-15-2010, 08:12 PM
 
11,636 posts, read 20,952,537 times
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You have to work until midnight and then get up a 7AM so you can work at your second job? That's not a big deal. You are going to need to grow up A LOT if you want to be a real adult.

I can't tell you how many times my son would have a football game that ended at 11PM on Friday and then be at a chemistry lab at 7AM on Saturday and he's only 16. Stuff like this happens to people all the time. Get used to it.

When you take a job you should have a written agreement with your employer. Since you did not have this then I suggest that you respectfully approach them and try to hammer out an agreement. I don't see them agreeing to have to give you notice though. Why have a nanny if they aren't available when you need them?

Having 2 jobs rarely works out. One job has to be your highest priority and the employer who is low priority does not want to hear that they are not your priority so usually you wind up getting fired from that job. It's not just you. You will have to decide which is your priority.
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Old 12-15-2010, 08:17 PM
 
11,636 posts, read 20,952,537 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Extravagance is relative. You have a brand new car and a smartphone. Those were extravagant choices given your situation. And now, you need to figure out how to live with one unpleasantness or another to pay for those extravagances. What are you willing to compromise on and to what extent. Make a list. That's where you begin. Draw up a list of things -"must haves" and "would be nice"..
I got my first brand new car (1993 Nissan Sentra) when I was 28 years old and out of college for 6 years.
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Old 12-15-2010, 10:43 PM
 
9,245 posts, read 7,282,727 times
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Here's my take on the whole "nanny" thing, FWIW.

I think the term "nanny" is misused. Real nannies are professional caregivers. They have qualifications, references and compensation above and beyond room and board that is equal to them being a respected employee and a skilled practitioner.

I think the situation we have here and anywhere where you need to give the "nanny" a set of rules equal to that of a teenager that's overstayed their welcome in the home and not a contract equal to a professional person's adult status then you are looking at a glorified babysitter (no offense intended) who you want to have on hand for convenience rather than a proper "live in nanny".

The employer's (if you aren't reporting the employee to the gov and you don't have an EIN, I use that term loosely) have really set up a barter system here, where they provide room and board in exchange for childcare duties, with a little extra $$ on top. If you are not working on the books with a proper employee/er contract then you really are a boarder who works in exchange for a roof, not a "nanny".

So, seeing as that's the case with txtqueen, and she doesn't have any recourse with fair labor acts or anything that might support her position as far as unfair expectations from the family - she needs to sit down and draft a contract immediately and ask for at least a 1099 for the year or realize that these people can pretty much set the terms of the deal because as far as anybody else is concerned she lives there in exchange for whatever duties they might ask of her and is at their mercy and is not really an employed live in nanny at all.
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Old 12-16-2010, 02:14 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 10,306,702 times
Reputation: 19472
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Here's my take on the whole "nanny" thing, FWIW.

I think the term "nanny" is misused. Real nannies are professional caregivers. They have qualifications, references and compensation above and beyond room and board that is equal to them being a respected employee and a skilled practitioner.

I think the situation we have here and anywhere where you need to give the "nanny" a set of rules equal to that of a teenager that's overstayed their welcome in the home and not a contract equal to a professional person's adult status then you are looking at a glorified babysitter (no offense intended) who you want to have on hand for convenience rather than a proper "live in nanny".

The employer's (if you aren't reporting the employee to the gov and you don't have an EIN, I use that term loosely) have really set up a barter system here, where they provide room and board in exchange for childcare duties, with a little extra $$ on top. If you are not working on the books with a proper employee/er contract then you really are a boarder who works in exchange for a roof, not a "nanny".

So, seeing as that's the case with txtqueen, and she doesn't have any recourse with fair labor acts or anything that might support her position as far as unfair expectations from the family - she needs to sit down and draft a contract immediately and ask for at least a 1099 for the year or realize that these people can pretty much set the terms of the deal because as far as anybody else is concerned she lives there in exchange for whatever duties they might ask of her and is at their mercy and is not really an employed live in nanny at all.

^^^^This one right here.....EXACTLY! She agreed to babysit and help with household chores in exchange for rent and utilities. Who's not living up to their agreement. There IS no legal recourse here, it's a matter of doing what you agreed to do, in order to pay your rent....or move out. They are not obligated to listen to any of your excuses about why you CAN'T fulfill your duties.

You agreed to watch the kids and do chores, in exchange for rent. I don't understand what's so difficult about that. There are 7 days in a week.....if you have weekend off, that means you have less than 3 1/2 hrs. that you're being responsible for watching kids and doing chores. OMG! If it's 7 days per week, that's about 2 hrs per day! That's a small damn price to pay for your rent, electric, WSG, cable, internet (?). Good God, do you know what most working mom's do in order to have a roof over their heads? They get up in the morning, do laundry, do housework, take care of kids, (no REST times), take a shower, go to work, come home, clean house, do laundry, cook meals, wash dishes, go to sporting events if necessary, sleep a few hours and get up and do it all over again.

My God, you still have no idea of what it means to be a responsible adult, do you? I don't think I've ever heard you actually be grateful for anything. It's always you who is being taken advantage of...always. You made promises you're not keeping or are willing to keep. You're not paying your rent to these people. You're not. If you're not babysitting and doing your chores as you agreed to do, you are freeloading and expecting them to simply buy into your crap. What do you need to do? Sleep less, eat on the go, and honor your agreement.

P.S. For the record, yeah.....you and the family should have written up and signed a contract. That way, it would have been perfectly clear and in black and white what was expected of both parties. If the contract was violated, your agreement would be legally terminated. The contract should have a set number of hours you would be required to work as well as the hourly rate of pay, cost of rent per day and chores expected of you every day....any extra time, they'd pay you.....any less than agreed upon, you'd pay the pro-rated rent amount. If you aren't doing your agreed upon chores around the house, then you should have to pay that money back as well. An agreement is an agreement. Neither of you should have entered into one unless you planned on sticking to it.

Last edited by beachmel; 12-16-2010 at 02:23 AM..
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Old 12-16-2010, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Oxford, Connecticut
524 posts, read 877,300 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
^^^^This one right here.....EXACTLY! She agreed to babysit and help with household chores in exchange for rent and utilities. Who's not living up to their agreement. There IS no legal recourse here, it's a matter of doing what you agreed to do, in order to pay your rent....or move out. They are not obligated to listen to any of your excuses about why you CAN'T fulfill your duties.

You agreed to watch the kids and do chores, in exchange for rent. I don't understand what's so difficult about that. There are 7 days in a week.....if you have weekend off, that means you have less than 3 1/2 hrs. that you're being responsible for watching kids and doing chores. OMG! If it's 7 days per week, that's about 2 hrs per day! That's a small damn price to pay for your rent, electric, WSG, cable, internet (?). Good God, do you know what most working mom's do in order to have a roof over their heads? They get up in the morning, do laundry, do housework, take care of kids, (no REST times), take a shower, go to work, come home, clean house, do laundry, cook meals, wash dishes, go to sporting events if necessary, sleep a few hours and get up and do it all over again.

My God, you still have no idea of what it means to be a responsible adult, do you? I don't think I've ever heard you actually be grateful for anything. It's always you who is being taken advantage of...always. You made promises you're not keeping or are willing to keep. You're not paying your rent to these people. You're not. If you're not babysitting and doing your chores as you agreed to do, you are freeloading and expecting them to simply buy into your crap. What do you need to do? Sleep less, eat on the go, and honor your agreement.

P.S. For the record, yeah.....you and the family should have written up and signed a contract. That way, it would have been perfectly clear and in black and white what was expected of both parties. If the contract was violated, your agreement would be legally terminated. The contract should have a set number of hours you would be required to work as well as the hourly rate of pay, cost of rent per day and chores expected of you every day....any extra time, they'd pay you.....any less than agreed upon, you'd pay the pro-rated rent amount. If you aren't doing your agreed upon chores around the house, then you should have to pay that money back as well. An agreement is an agreement. Neither of you should have entered into one unless you planned on sticking to it.

This exactly plus, It is completely unprofessional to complain to one employer about a separate job. Your nanny family doesn't care about BB&B, they only care about the work you are doing for them.
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Old 12-16-2010, 08:34 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 94,687,053 times
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Originally Posted by laulob View Post
This exactly plus, It is completely unprofessional to complain to one employer about a separate job. Your nanny family doesn't care about BB&B, they only care about the work you are doing for them.
The employer hired her knowing she had a job at BB&B and was attending community college. The employer said they would work around her work and school schedules.
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