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Old 12-16-2010, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 10,256,457 times
Reputation: 19461

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Yeah-the people are probably trying to take advantage of her. I wonder how many nannies they have gone through. When my kids were small I had a nanny and we had the same one for about 4 years. My next door neighbor had about 6 or 7 in the same timer period because they treated them so poorly.

However, I do not think that asking someone to work at 8AM is unreasonable. I do think that they need to come to some sort of written agreement about what the expectations are in the house but the OP will not be successful with that negotiation if she takes the "woe is me" approach with her employers.
I agree that some folks are poor employers, however, perhaps YOU had a great and responsible nanny, who was grateful for her employment. It's darn hard to find good, reliable, hardworking employees, however. Some of these people feel as if being a "nanny", entails simply being in the house with the children so that the kids don't burn it down. LOL
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Old 12-16-2010, 11:39 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,490,556 times
Reputation: 3331
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
So Hopes told me to start a new thread...commence the chair throwing at her.

A) Let's start off with I don't have a set schedule besides Monday and Wednesday from 830-130. That means I need 4 more hours for the week in order to meet my "quota" of hours for the month. Usually I work over the 14 a week I need to get, which leads me to point B.

B) They keep asking or telling me last minute LITERALLY that I will need to work. Like the other day she told me they had a therapy session the next day, then the next day she told me what time 4 hours before the session and told me I would be working right up until 315, when I had class at 330 that day. Or the other night I stayed the night at a friends house and was suppose to have the morning off and I got a text a 8am of all the chores I needed to get done that morning. Like I was suppose to just drop everything on a day I was not scheduled.

C) The car insurance on the mini van, nuff said.

D) They think I should ALWAYS be asking what else I can do, even if I am not working. There is little to no distinction between on the clock and off the clock.


I don't ask for much.
1. I want a set schedule.
2. I want to work my scheduled hours and be OFF when I am not scheduled.
3. They need to ask 14 days in advance if they need me to request off work for a night or two, that's how many days in advance I need to request off work. If they want me to work during my off time, they need to ASK a day in advance and if I have something I am doing I won't be able to and I understand about emergency situations but those shouldn't be happening very often. I shouldn't just be expected to drop everything and rush home to do something. It is a job, it doesn't work that way at BBB and it shouldn't be working that way at this job either.

Wow ...from your last posts..I got the impression...you had the dream job...Now things dont look so sparkly after all do they...
And you have your car payment to your grandmother...
Welcome to real world..
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Old 12-16-2010, 11:42 AM
 
2,060 posts, read 5,147,124 times
Reputation: 1655
Quote:
Originally Posted by sskkc View Post
My hope is that now she will leave these people's home without damaging their children any more than she has already done.
I couldn't agree more with every single point of this post, but this point in particular is my favorite.
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Old 12-16-2010, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 10,256,457 times
Reputation: 19461
Okay, all of you grownups out there......What are the cardinal rules in life??????? "If it seems too good to be true.......it probably is!" "Everything has a price.....everything!" "Live and learn" "Don't sh*t where you eat!"
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Old 12-16-2010, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,121 posts, read 23,718,794 times
Reputation: 37814
I doubt that txt is harming the children with her attitude....They are 1 and 3. I'm guessing she is perfectly pleasant to them and responsible with them. Frankly, I think the parents, if they have a constant stream of live-in babysitters who they pay in cash and don't check out are doing far more damage. I believe txt is young and we do want her to succeed. Some of us are more "tough love" parents than others. Obviously, most of these things are things her mom should have been teaching and guiding her while she was growing up. Obviously, that's not what happened. Better late than never, even if it comes from a whole host of cyber-moms. The thing is though...she has to at some point accept some responsibility. People would be much more likely to not be all if she actually took some advice instead of brushing us all off all the time with "I've got it under control"...Saying "hey - I screwed up. Now how can I get myself out of this mess?" instead of being all whiney about how hard things are and none of it is her fault and it's unfair.....
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Old 12-16-2010, 01:27 PM
 
15,246 posts, read 17,249,659 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I doubt that txt is harming the children with her attitude....They are 1 and 3. I'm guessing she is perfectly pleasant to them and responsible with them. Frankly, I think the parents, if they have a constant stream of live-in babysitters who they pay in cash and don't check out are doing far more damage. I believe txt is young and we do want her to succeed. Some of us are more "tough love" parents than others. Obviously, most of these things are things her mom should have been teaching and guiding her while she was growing up. Obviously, that's not what happened. Better late than never, even if it comes from a whole host of cyber-moms. The thing is though...she has to at some point accept some responsibility. People would be much more likely to not be all if she actually took some advice instead of brushing us all off all the time with "I've got it under control"...Saying "hey - I screwed up. Now how can I get myself out of this mess?" instead of being all whiney about how hard things are and none of it is her fault and it's unfair.....
And it makes you wonder about whether her mom is as bad as she makes her out to be. Maybe she just got tired of being ignored.
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Old 12-16-2010, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,121 posts, read 23,718,794 times
Reputation: 37814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Something has to give. She has to decide to do some or all of the following:

1. Lose the car payment.
2. Lose the expensive phone.
3. Move back with her mother.
4. Suck it up and sleep less.
5. Quit school and work full time.
6. Quit the nanny job and share a cheap place with someone.

She can't have it both ways. She can't have 2 jobs, go to school and still sleep 10 hours a night.

She can't live in a nice place rent free and not have to do SOMETHING to earn her keep.

She can't drive a brand new car without working for it.

Life doesn't happen that way.
Problem is, she can't get rid of the car. She's most likely upside down on it.
Same with the phone. Assuming she has a contract and she's stuck for awhile.
I agree that 3-6 are all things she needs to consider. Even the ones she doesn't particularly want to consider.

I do think it is reasonable to ask to have some advance notice on working. I think 14 days is not reasonable in her position. I think that calling someone and expecting them to be available pronto is also not reasonable. Additionally, she should not have to pay for the privilege of driving their kids in their car. It is reasonable to expect to not be locked out of the house unless you forgot your key. It is reasonable to ask to be communicated to in a respectful and professional manner (that goes for both parties).
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Old 12-16-2010, 02:17 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 94,238,952 times
Reputation: 30447
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
Same with the phone. Assuming she has a contract and she's stuck for awhile.
I think the phone is on the employer's plan. She mentioned that's something she pays them for. If she does eventually leave the job, she's not obligated to continue paying their cell phone contract. BUT she'll never give up having an expensive cell phone. If she gets off of their contract, she'll just buy another expensive plan of her own. She's actually getting a deal by being added to the employer's plan instead of being on her own plan.

Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
I do think it is reasonable to ask to have some advance notice on working. I think 14 days is not reasonable in her position. I think that calling someone and expecting them to be available pronto is also not reasonable. Additionally, she should not have to pay for the privilege of driving their kids in their car. It is reasonable to expect to not be locked out of the house unless you forgot your key. It is reasonable to ask to be communicated to in a respectful and professional manner (that goes for both parties).
I agree with all of this.
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Old 12-16-2010, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,121 posts, read 23,718,794 times
Reputation: 37814
Quote:
BUT she'll never give up having an expensive cell phone. If she gets off of their contract, she'll just buy another expensive plan of her own.
And this is the kind of thing that makes everyone crazy. She can't seem to differentiate that temporary sacrifices can and should be made to achieve long term goals. Having a less expensive cell phone plan for the next 2 years (which, contrary to txt's understanding of the word, IS temporary) keeps her expenses down. The lower her expenses are, the more choices she has on living arrangements. If she works extra hours temporarily,that allows her to get out of debt faster and again...increases her choices down the road....for work, living arrangements and schooling. She has great goals but she wants to have it all now. Who doesn't? The sign of maturity however, is recognizing the difference between what we WANT and what can actually be done. The ability to delay gratification. And it's not just txt...she's just representative of a whole slew of people who seem to feel entitled to a bunch of stuff. And now. Without sacrificing anything.

I don't tell txt anything I wouldn't tell my very own children. She deserves to be told the truth.

Last edited by maciesmom; 12-16-2010 at 02:51 PM..
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Old 12-16-2010, 02:50 PM
 
4,557 posts, read 9,893,285 times
Reputation: 3892
I guess the biggest frustration is all the excuses. We all come up with great advice, but there is always an excuse.

The fact that in her position, she obligated herself to a $17,000 car and all that goes with it, says her grandmother MADE her get a new car. I mean, come on....no one put a gun to her head. She could have said, "Grandma, I really appreciate it, but I just can't afford that. I can afford a $3,000 car" or whatever that amount could have been.

She basically has only two options -

Either suck it up, stop whining and get through the next few weeks with the extra hours at BB&B and what they need her for -

Or, sit down and have a serious talk with them, but before doing that, have a plan B, because I wouldn't be surprised one bit that they opted to let her go rather than bend.
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