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Nope. Both my kids dressed to fit whatever the occasion. If they didn't like it I didn't care. They get to dress the way they want 99.9% of the time and can't complain about anything. Life is tough and learning you don't get to do whatever you want all the time is a lesson more parents need to teach their kids. That's just a hard fact that nobody can argue with.
But why? Not everyone is preoccupied with being a 'lady'. People should dress how they want. If the OP is more comfortable in pants from one department over the other, then that is what should be worn. After, it is the OP wearing the clothes, not the parent. "Oh, you have a vagina, so we assigned your gender as female for you when you were born, so now you have to wear clothes to accentuate your hips and breasts." Um, no. People need to get over this crap.
Standards for a wedding: clean, 'dressy' clothes. Why make it more rigid than that?
Part of 'dressy' is 'well-fitting'. Men's clothes aren't designed to fit well on women and vice versa. That's the reason you should buy the women's equivalent for a formal event, wearing ill-fitting clothes will always look sloppy no matter what the gender.
Why on earth would I dress girly girly when I'm going to get my clothes ripped by barbed wire, soaked in mud and manure or God forbid....risk the chance of girly clothes getting me hung up on a fence? I have dresses but PREFER to wear clothes more suited to my activities. Yes, I have to wear men's clothes to be comfortable. You ever try to wear a dress and heels and ride a horse?
That isn't the scenario the OP described, though....she said she was going with her family to a place "that required everyone to dress nice," so I don't imagine she will encounter any mud or barbed wire, LOL.
And I don't think "a dress and heels" is the female-type clothing I was referring to - I meant active wear, like sweats, comfy jeans or something along that line. Most women out and about today, do not wear dresses and heels, do they? Most women I see out have on pants and a top.
Yes, it was a man's shirt and tie. I'm dressing this way because I like to. I prefer wearing men's clothes, even if the women's version is similar.
So the issue here is that your mom doesn't approve of that attire for you, when attending a dressy affair? How about having a little consideration for your mom/parents? Really, would it KILL you to consider her feelings here? If you know something is going to embarrass your parents, why would you even consider it! You seem to have an issue here with them not considering your feelings..perhaps you ought to consider theirs? They're putting a roof over your head? food in your belly? clothes on your back? and you are so inconsiderate that you can't consider their feelings? Nice......real nice.
That isn't the scenario the OP described, though....she said she was going with her family to a place "that required everyone to dress nice," so I don't imagine she will encounter any mud or barbed wire, LOL.
And I don't think "a dress and heels" is the female-type clothing I was referring to - I meant active wear, like sweats, comfy jeans or something along that line. Most women out and about today, do not wear dresses and heels, do they? Most women I see out have on pants and a top.
I don't wear girly clothes to weddings, parties. I there isn't a woman in my town who wears dresses to work as everyday attire. We wear what is comfortable and that sometimes includes the dreaded pajama pants. We live at the top of the Rocky Mountains in Montana. Going to a concert at the school sometimes involves taking the blanket off, jumping in the truck that's been warming up for 1/2 hour, running into the school, watching concert and rushing back home to get under the blanket again. Just this morning I woke up to -9. The horses needed to be fed and I had to go into the school for a meeting. I had pajama pants on under my wool pants. My wool pants got wet from breaking the ice on the creek so off they came. Not one person at the school gave it a second thought. What I am trying to say is that some women don't need to dress in a "womanly" way to be a woman. It's a matter of choice. Don't down us women who don't need to do the girly frilly thing.
Part of 'dressy' is 'well-fitting'. Men's clothes aren't designed to fit well on women and vice versa. That's the reason you should buy the women's equivalent for a formal event, wearing ill-fitting clothes will always look sloppy no matter what the gender.
I know plenty of butch women who look mighty fine in their well-fitting men's clothes ... they prefer men's cut clothing because they don't want their hips or breasts accentuated, which is what 'well-fitting' women's clothing does. Just because something doesn't hug an hourglass figure doesn't mean it is sloppy.
Am I the only one here who thinks there is a lot more going on between our OP and her parents besides a buzz cut and a shirt and tie?
I think not.
Could be. But it could also just be this issue. For some reason, having our children dress exactly as the opposite sex really hits a nerve with most people (myself included). A really big nerve. Like I said, we have been going through this with my niece for ten years now. She has never done it to annoy her mom or purposely make people outraged. We have all learned to accept that this is her. In our case, there are past issues that that may contribute to her dressing as a boy--but only maybe. She started wanting to be a boy and dress like a boy extremely early on. My duty is to make sure the past issues are resolved enough and that she has coping strageties to deal with life--not to change what she wears. It is also my duty to teach her proper hygene and decorum. She knows what fallout there is to dressing as a boy and appears to be fine with it, so as long as she dresses nice to appropriate functions, I'm not going to worry if it is a dress or male dress pants.
My biggest worry is teaching her that you can be strong, independent, AND a woman. The rest is between her and God.
Sounds like your daughter might be gay or not. The best thing to do is just love her and accept her and keept the communication open. It's hard not to talk about her clothing choices, but for a teen if you attack the clothing you are attacking them in their minds. Just embrace her for the kind of girl she is.
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