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Well this is how I handle it , I no longer go to nice restaraunts because the last time I went I had food thrown on me , a crayon to hit me in the eye and several other things and I was wearing a nice white pantsuit and neither the restaraunt or the parents offered to pay for cleaning . the mom just eyeballed me when I gave her a dirty look. I asked the waiter to please ask the parents to make the child behave . I was told by the waiter that he could not do that because coporate would be called and he would lose his job . I called the corporate office and do you know what ? he was right , the lady I spoke with said that they did not want to offend their diners with kids from coming to their restaraunts and now I have to wonder is this the stance that all nice restaraunts are taking ? If so I will probably never eat again in a five star restaraunt or the local bk either . I will do drive through or stay home because I dont want to have to tell people how to make their kids behave I do however when I see them , behaving in public places i compliment the mom and dad cause I feel as though they have done their job at home therefore the kids behave out in public .
That's true. But this restaurant wasn't a waiter/waitress style restaurant. The pizza is already made. You pick out what you want and they heat it up. It takes 5 minutes and then you go to your seat. These people were already eating when we took our seats.
Sheesh! If her child behaves like that in this type of establishment where the wait time is very short, can you imagine if she takes this child to a restaurant where you have to wait to be served at your table? Honestly, it sounds like this mother was being just plain lazy. And, of course, extremely inconsiderate. I can't imagine ever ignoring my child's behavior like that. Definitely laziness.
I was at a popular sit down pizza joint at the mall today. It was packed---every table taken.
The table near us had two mothers with three young children. One mother had a four year old. The other had a six year old and a three year old. Dressed super cute in Christmas sweater dresses. Stunningly beautiful children, not just due to their outfits.
These kids were all over the place. I really didn't care until one mother yelled at her child. It was so loud. Right in my ear. The tables are packed in this restaurant. She was only 18" away from me. Her yell was ineffective. The kid didn't stop. As a matter of fact, the children got worse. Fortunately, the mother didn't continue yelling. But she didn't do anything.
Then the kids start grabbing empty chairs, their empty chairs from their table and empty chairs from neighboring tables, and pushing them around the floor and around their table, between that 18" space between the mother's seat and our table. One chair gets stuck. The kid is pushing it. Our table is rocking. The mother never even turns around to stop the child. She had to have known---her chair was being pushed too! And the chairs dragging on the tile floor were loud, sounded like nails on a chaulk board. The whole restaurant could hear these chairs but the parents were oblivous.
I know people have posted in previous "restaurant" threads that we should expect these things in family style or informal restaurants. BUT WHY do people think this is acceptable? This restaurant was PACKED with families and parents who had well-behaved children. Every other child in this restaurant managed to sit in their seats quietly!
I didn't say a word. When they left, my son (who had been grabbing spare chairs from the children and pushing them behind where he was sitting) commented on how aweful their behavior was and their mothers' not saying anything. I told him that was why we required him to sit at the dinner table until everyone was done eating when he was younger. Young children don't learn how to behave in public at restaurants if they are not taught at home.
I wanted to go to each of the tables with well behaved children and thank those parents for having taught their children! All too often, we only notice that parents with misbehaving children. I think all of the parents who have children who behave should be commended!
So, my "restaruant rant" thread is a tribute to all parents out there who taught their children how to behave in public!
You are in the majority and you deserve recognition!
Neither myself nor my husband has no problem yelling at children that need to be yelled at. You would be AMAZED how a kid will react when a perfect stranger disciplines them! LOL
One day we were at McDonalds and there was a four or five year old girl next to our table doing ballet. She accidentally hit our table with her foot. My husband bent over and in a VERY GRUFF, LOUD voice told her to go away and sit down. She about fell over herself rushing back to her parent's table where she sat for the remainder of the meal.
Momma_bear, I do think I was expecting too much. However, I know that does not translate into letting my daughter misbehave. Instead, to me it means that I react to her behavior differently, I guess that would be modeling. I would get all worked up and take things personally. I hated meal times.
Your suggestions are great and I believe that is what I have been trying to do. Its just so tiring to do it over and over that I thought I was missing something or starting too early. Then add on top of that my frustration building and not being able to eat especially if we are out. This is why eating out is rare and usually done if other little children are there to sit with her.
After reading the suggestions here, I decided to change my attitude (nothing else) and "poof" (seriously) my daughter sits 20 minutes without fussing. This week she stopped eating breakfast in front of the TV and I stopped trying to get things done while she ate. I asked her questions like how she slept, tell her what we are doing today, etc. I would take a bite and put my utensil down and listen to her. In other words, the point of meal time was not only to eat or use as a distractions but to talk to one another. I believe she really enjoys it and so do I. I also believe this allows her to focus on our table manners because she is suddenly much better about using utensils and her napkin.
So that is a start and probably the most important, my own behavior. (Don't laugh, I really didn't know these things )Thanks, Crisan
ETA: Today, instead of rushing around in the car to go to somebody's house or the mall or the park, and then rush back home to prepare dinner, we are WALKING to the grocery store and then coming back to prepare dinner. I will let her wash the vegetables and scoop out the seeds. Should be fun with messes, meltdowns and all.
After reading the suggestions here, I decided to change my attitude (nothing else) and "poof" (seriously) my daughter sits 20 minutes without fussing. This week she stopped eating breakfast in front of the TV and I stopped trying to get things done while she ate. I asked her questions like how she slept, tell her what we are doing today, etc. I would take a bite and put my utensil down and listen to her. In other words, the point of meal time was not only to eat or use as a distractions but to talk to one another. I believe she really enjoys it and so do I. I also believe this allows her to focus on our table manners because she is suddenly much better about using utensils and her napkin.
Crisan, I hope this continues to work for you. Stick with it and I think it will. It's what we did with our boys. Mealtime was always family-sits-together-and-talks time. No TV. We turned off the radio, but many times would have music (classical or quiet jazz - no rock) in the background. Everybody talked about their day. We started when they were in high-chairs.
We also never made them eat food they didn't like. No screaming, "You'll finish your peas, young man!" If they didn't like it, fine. Eat something else. (And I made no special meals for finicky eaters. If they filled up on mashed potatoes at least their stomachs were full. They got vitamins and healthy snacks.) We also excused them from the table once they were finished. To this day, as adults, they say, "May I be excused?" when they're done. (Actually I kind of liked just sitting there with my DH, eating and having time with him after a long day.)
I have no horror stories about mis-behavior at the table. We made it family time. A time to enjoy each other. It's all they ever knew and would come home amazed if they ate at a friend's house and it was a battlefield. I truly, truly hope this works for you!
This is one area my wife and I have been struggling with. When we just had DS we went out all the time. He has always been exceptionally well behaved in restraunts of all types, probably because he grew up eating in a restraunt 2 or 3 times a week. When DD1 came along we ate out a lot less, but still maybe once a week or every other week. She has simply been a holy terror in a restraunt since she was maybe 1. This in turn has led to us simply not going to restraunts with her.
With the assistance of grandparents we are starting to take her to places where it's just her and us, but she still has issues. I guess what I am getting at is that some kids just can't handle the restraunt thing until they are older and IMO a responsible parent doesn't simply go anyway and ruin everyone elses meal.
Not really. She's 2 1/2 now and very good at it, but nothing abnormal. She's generally a very well behaved little girl. She occasionally has issues when we're in a store, but usually only if it's because we have been out for a while and she is tired of shopping. However, everytime we have tried to go to a restraunt she refuses to sit and is literally bouncing off the walls if she isn't eating. I will say, that she is a light eater. She is what I would term a "grazer" and not really into giant meals. She'd rather eat a couple apple slices with peanut butter and maybe a couple pieces of cheese than sit down and have a full meal.
I think part of it though may have to do with her being an incredibly social little girl. She likes the world to notice her and is always waving to people, saying hi and trying to start a conversation. That may be cute as she rolls past people in the cart at the grocery store, but most people aren't looking to converse with a 2 year old when they're at a restraunt. Maybe it's the social aspect for her being surrounded by so many people? She's really interested in what's going on around her and wants to say hi to everyone and mom and dad are telling her to sit and color or read a book while she waits for her meal and that just isn't what she wants to do.
We also never made them eat food they didn't like. No screaming, "You'll finish your peas, young man!" If they didn't like it, fine. Eat something else. (And I made no special meals for finicky eaters. If they filled up on mashed potatoes at least their stomachs were full. They got vitamins and healthy snacks.)
I completely agree. I'm having this mini battle with my husband now. As I said in an earlier post, my son just turned 1 and there are definitely things he prefers to eat. If we've heated up mixed veggies, if he's eating the carrots and zucchini, I don't care if he eats the green beans. But my DH is all "Eat this. Eat this," until our son throws a fit. Ugh.
NJGOAT -If she's very sociable she's probably seeing the restaurant as one FABULOUS place. Who wants to eat (or just sit and color - that's boring) when there's all these new people to talk to? Sounds like a little raconteur in the making. I'm thinking once she's old enough to understand more about what's acceptable and what's not she'll be just fine.
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)Thanks, Crisan
