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So, my son finally got his permit; he's been putting it off forever.
We went out today for his first time in the car. He did beautifully in the school parking lot and on our neighborhood streets.
We accidentally ended up on a main road and I offered to take the wheel but he thought he could make it home. We were both nervous. He did fine until we got to our neighborhood and turned into our street; there was a car coming out of the same street and he almost hit it head on. He did not stop prior to executing his turn.
I told him to stop and he did not ~ he kept aiming for the oncoming vehicle. I finally yelled 'Stop" and he did but he became very upset that I yelled at him.
How do I not raise my voice when he is not stopping (I realize he panicked) and we are about to hit an oncoming vehicle?
I need some help as to how to handle this thing. We got in way over our heads by ending up on the main road (we're new to the area to boot).
Don't worry about yelling "stop!" You did what was necessary.
To prevent this in the future, map your practice routes in advance to use roads with extremely low traffic for now, and pick those with very low speed limits. Pick a start spot and end spot. Period. Branch out slowly as he gets some experience. Good luck.
FIRST call your doctor and get yourself a prescription for Klonopin.
THEN you start with him driving in cemeteries. Cemeteries have lots of roads, virtually no traffic. You can talk him through it, pretend intersections have stop signs, etc.
(Cemeteries are where my parents started me. That's where I started my daughter and I'm currently teaching my son. We go every day for an hour for two weeks.)
THEN you go out on weekend mornings. EARLY. There isn't much traffic then. Do that for a few weeks.
THEN you go out on weekdays to more rural areas (along with everything else you're already doing). Do that for a few weeks.
THEN you go out in your neighborhood during busier times (along with everything else you're doing). Do that for a few weeks.
THEN you go out onto the highway when there isn't much traffic (along with everything else you're already doing.) Do that for a few weeks.
THEN you go out onto the highway when there is more traffic (along with everything else you're already doing)
Did I mention getting a prescription for Klonopin?
I wish I had good advice! I let my DH do the majority of teaching because getting in the car with my son made me a wreck. I just wasn't up for it and my husband was SO much better. It is stressful.
I think didee had good advice - start out slow and small outings and go from there.
My son is 17 now and has had his license since 16. He is a good driver. So don't lose heart - you'll get there.
One more thing to mention. There is so much we take for granted because after driving for so long, it's automatic. We don't even think about it. But it's not for the new driver.
My DH took our son out on a curvy road outside of town. He didn't say a word when he knew they were approaching a turn too soon. It scared our son - and my husband knew what he was doing and was prepared if something should happen.
They pulled over and my DH asked, "Did you not see the sign that said showed a curve ahead to the speed was 15?". Our son said, "no - never noticed". So they talked about little things like that. That he had to be more aware of signs, etc.
They get so caught up in the "driving" aspect, that they fail to see what is going on around them. It's just a matter of talking about it and reinforcing it. It doesn't come naturally. It has to be learned.
FIRST call your doctor and get yourself a prescription for Klonopin.
THEN you start with him driving in cemeteries. Cemeteries have lots of roads, virtually no traffic. You can talk him through it, pretend intersections have stop signs, etc.
(Cemeteries are where my parents started me. That's where I started my daughter and I'm currently teaching my son. We go every day for an hour for two weeks.)
THEN you go out on weekend mornings. EARLY. There isn't much traffic then. Do that for a few weeks.
THEN you go out on weekdays to more rural areas (along with everything else you're already doing). Do that for a few weeks.
THEN you go out in your neighborhood during busier times (along with everything else you're doing). Do that for a few weeks.
THEN you go out onto the highway when there isn't much traffic (along with everything else you're already doing.) Do that for a few weeks.
THEN you go out onto the highway when there is more traffic (along with everything else you're already doing)
Did I mention getting a prescription for Klonopin?
I suggest the first thing you do is YOU drive and give a narrative of what you are doing so that he can focus on these things while not having the stress of actually driving.
Point out signs-speed limit, stop, yield, intersection, railroad, merge, curve, and so on. Explain exactly what each one means and what to do. Even if you think he knows or HE thinks he knows, explain it.
Speed limit - it's there for a reason. 30 on residential streets because you never know when a a person or vehicle may enter the street suddenly from a driveway or yard. 55 on highway to keep traffic flowing smoothly. 10 in a park because children are playing and might chase a ball into your path and it's up to YOU to prevent an accident.
Stop-come to a full and complete stop and look all directions before continuing. Pay attention to the lane you are in and do not go straight if you are in a turn lane and vice versa.
Intersection-understand that means more than one road are about to intersect. Pay attention to stop signs or signals and don't assume all the other drivers will abide by the rules. That's how many accidents happen-people running stop signs or red lights.
Yield means to give way to the other driver, but it also may mean you have to come to a complete stop. Do not continue until your path is clear.
Railroad means you pay attention to flashing lights, crossing arms coming down (don't be under them or run through them!) and don't ever stop on the tracks!
Merge - traffic from different streets or lanes need to share one soon, so be prepared to let others in or safely work your way into the shared lane.
Curve- as mentioned you must slow your speed, especially in bad weather conditions. Rain just beginning is far more dangerous than rain that's been occurring for a while as all the oil on the road has not been washed away yet, so it's the slipperiest then..
All those things that we as long time drivers know automatically doesn't seep into their pores just because they are in the car with you. So talk him through it all. Ask him what you should do to see if he knows.
Then get him out for practice. Maybe try an industrial area on the weekend where there are all kinds of roads, yet not much traffic and you don't have to worry about children, bicycles or motorcycles.
don't walk on the sidewalks to close to the street.
run for cover whenever you can.
when asked to take him out driving act like you have a headache.
also get yourself a script for some trancs, you'll need them, so far I've tought my two daughters and still have my son to go....next year, hhmmm, now where did I put that script?
I considered it an opportunity for me to drink when we went out to dinner, or drink prior to getting into the car. Just a glass of wine, to take the "edge" off. And yes, we only practiced early, or on weekend after noons on residential streets, familiar routes. I think my worst moment was when my son missed a turn, so he decided to make a U-turn in our SUV going no less than 35 miles an hour without slowing down. So, I would tell your son, no U turns. Thank Gosh I am a hefty Mama, I literally felt those wheels on the car lifting up to roll...if I had been staying on my diet, I am sure we would have flipped. You will survive, just don't yell, relax, be quiet, I did have a "cue" for my kids, when I felt like they were making poor choices, I said, "slow, slow" even if they were going the speed limit. Note, no radio, no cell phone, no passengers, and never let them drive to school, wait a year for that. Buy some nice wine.
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My mother nearly had a heart attack. 
