18 YO son thinks its ok to spend night @ his GF's house (learn, mother)
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Good grief. I was not allowed to sleep with my BF who I was living with at age 35 at my parents house, we had separate rooms...that was what worked for them. I respected their rules, even at age 35. So, if this does not work for you, then tell your son he needs to make other arrangements.
Good grief. This behavior isn't occurring at the OP's home.
Yes - that's the right definition of "autonomous adult", just having sex in your parent's house doesn't make one an autonomous adult. Living on your own, paying your own bills does. Mooching off the parents like an 8 year old, letting them pay your housing costs is just living like an 8 year old.
I don't pay my own bills and I don't live on my own. My grandmother lives with my aunt and uncle. She has no income and doesn't contribute to the household bills.
I don't pay my own bills and I don't live on my own. My grandmother lives with my aunt and uncle. She has no income and doesn't contribute to the household bills.
Guess we are both "children", hmm?
Gosh, you really have a hard time comprehending what people are saying, don't you?
I'm wondering if some posters have personal issues with this, maybe they had a very strict upbringing, or something and fear parental "control" so strongly that it's hard to see the issue of legal adults acting like children being unacceptable, or a persons right to determine what is acceptable for those living in his/her household and their right to ask them to leave if they will not abide by the rules of the house.
I'm wondering if some posters have personal issues with this, maybe they had a very strict upbringing, or something and fear parental "control" so strongly that it's hard to see the real issue of legal adults acting like children being unacceptable, or a persons right to determine what is acceptable for those living in his/her household and their right to ask them to leave if they will not abide by the rules of the house.
Where did you get your psychiatry degree? This is not the place to psychoanalyze people. This is an issue of a group of people, a family unit, living together in harmony.
Where did you get your psychiatry degree? This is not the place to psychoanalyze people. This is an issue of a group of people, a family unit, living together in harmony.
I said I was wondering, I'm not psychoanalyzing any individual here, I'm just throwing around ideas which is what we do here. Sometimes people have issues that keeps them from seeing things clearly, thats all. I think it's a good idea to look at myself and think about why I am answering the way I do, rather than just going with my knee jerk reaction to something, we can learn more from each other if we are willing to look inside and make every attempt to think very clearly about the issues.
Or my parents who were infuriated to learn I was sleeping over at my GF's when I was 27 (not married yet)!!!! And I was living on my own, own job, renting own apartment, etc.
This is a tough one. Its a shame that your son could not have the politeness to adhere to your request. I know, I know, "they're 18 though." At the same time, they live in their parent's house which means follow their rules. Only common sense, since their paying for everything.
I feel that your stuck because if you kick him out. He will probably move in with her because her parents are apparently very liberal. Or the boy and girl will get an apartment that they can barely afford which might mean the bad side of town (been there, down that).
I think you might have to concede...somehow. Ever thought about allowing them to sleep over at your house. Currently, I have 17 yr old, with almost the same situation so I know that's not an easy question. Maybe the best thing to do, is to be very upfront with all of your concerns (sex, money, etc). At a minimum, kicking him out, will not work. Plus, we don't know if she is a keeper. For example, you kick him out then they breakup weeks later.
A very tough call! I would negotiate a compromise.
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