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I read "Tiger Mother" in one sitting, lost in thought about the complexity of mother-daughter relationships. Chua's memoir is simultaneously laugh out loud funny and heart-wrenching. Please take time to read the entire book before passing judgement on its author. She's a terrific writer and not necessarily the person you assume she is based on the snippets you've seen in the press."
Thanks for this!
I LOVE to read and will probably pick this one up.
No longer raising my own daughter, but it sounds intriguing.
Feeling threatened when somebody questions the crux of your Western parenting ideals? You probably should.
Good call. I don't quite agree with the tiger mother concept of being a tyrant. But I believe the author is spot on that the kids should be disciplined well when it comes to education.
But western parents fare the worst when it comes to educating their kids. Sometimes I wonder if they even care about education in the first place. I guess it all comes down to the fact that they don't want to take that student debt into their bank accounts. It's easy to get rid of the kids once they turn 18, under the guise of their independence.
The stats say it all. Go to the ivy league schools and it's obvious who's in the majority. The Asian kids are running away with all the success. For the others, finishing high school itself is like landing on the moon
Hey Antlered: Seriously? I find it hard to believe that someone who used to live in Greenwood Village, ground central for competitive mothering, could have the impression that American parents do not care about their children's educations. There's a reason that Chua's memoir is flying off shelves at the Dry Creek Barnes & Noble!
Now, pardon me while I go drill multiplication tables with my third-grader.
Hey Antlered: Seriously? I find it hard to believe that someone who used to live in Greenwood Village, ground central for competitive mothering, could have the impression that American parents do not care about their children's educations. There's a reason that Chua's memoir is flying off shelves at the Dry Creek Barnes & Noble!
Now, pardon me while I go drill multiplication tables with my third-grader.
She just posted a link and asked for opinions. I'm sure it'll be an interesting discussion, but it hasn't really gotten going yet.
Hey Antlered: Seriously? I find it hard to believe that someone who used to live in Greenwood Village, ground central for competitive mothering, could have the impression that American parents do not care about their children's educations. There's a reason that Chua's memoir is flying off shelves at the Dry Creek Barnes & Noble!
Now, pardon me while I go drill multiplication tables with my third-grader.
Yo, now I remember you from the Denver board How are ya???
I miss CO, sorely. I was happy there, though the pay wasn't up to my expectation. But the rockies work like a charm for me any given day.
GV is up there. It's a posh place, out and out, with terrific homes and responsible parents. But my theory is that these rich people's kids don't impact a country's economy if they drop out of school and rot. They get to inherit and you never see them living off unemployment and food stamps. Though I'm a strong proponent of education at any cost.
But it turns out the rich are more focussed on education than the rest. They can also afford to send them to the best tutors, private schools, prep schools and the like.
But my gripe has always been with the upper and lower middle class. For any country, this lot forms the crux of the population. These are the ones who greatly talk about freedom, kids making their own choice, their individuality or whatever, blah blah blah, a majority of parents in America don't want to push their kids for fear of alienating them. They talk about kids rights and all kinds of baloney, when sometimes a little spanking does wonders, at least an angry face???
If the kid gets a B, it does not mean that he is still trying his best, or it's a stepping stone to success, this is where the un-tyrant like tiger parenting comes in, getting an A must be enforced. And there are ways to enforce without physical punishment.
On other areas, sometimes kids do not need cell phones, iphones, ipads and all stupid gadgets. They don't need a facebook page. They don't need to chat with strangers online, all that is quality time to be spent either in outdoor sports or studies or better, both.
I'm glad the book is flying off the shelves, I'll be happy if the kids in this country are able to raise themselves and put a stiff competition to the Asians. It's good for America, with all the jobs taking flight to the real Asia, which is more intelligent and more brutal when it comes to educational brilliance.
This is what Obama wants. In a world of changing dynamics, the only way to reassert dominance starts in schools. Today's kids are tomorrow's leaders. You don't want them to be the loser baby boomers who lived off Chinese credit, when their wall street fat cats goaded them to buy, buy, buy with promises of retirement homes in nude beaches with endless viagra. And you see what that has done to a once strong economy Look at the baby boomers, yesteryears children, all that brouhaha about world peace, flower power, woodstock, rock n roll, drugs, love for one another, John Lennon and calling themselves the golden generation - what did they really acieve? Nothing, except ruined retirement funds, trillions in deficit, MBS galore and a culture of debt and excesses. Do we want today's children to grow up like them??
If the kid gets a B, it does not mean that he is still trying his best, or it's a stepping stone to success, this is where the un-tyrant like tiger parenting comes in, getting an A must be enforced. And there are ways to enforce without physical punishment.
If a course is sufficiently challenging, a B may be the best grade that the child can get using his best effort.
My dd who is very smart and talented had a course in college where she got a C an in which she says she learned more about her craft than in any of the courses she got an A in.
Grades do NOT indicate learning necessarily. They indicate what a child could do on a particular day at a particular time in a particular subject.
If a course is sufficiently challenging, a B may be the best grade that the child can get using his best effort.
My dd who is very smart and talented had a course in college where she got a C an in which she says she learned more about her craft than in any of the courses she got an A in.
Grades do NOT indicate learning necessarily. They indicate what a child could do on a particular day at a particular time in a particular subject.
What a self-defeating statement.
Let me tell you about competitive tests I used to take in my teens for entry into professional engineering schools. 100 questions, combined in math and physics. Two hours of time and thousands taking the test. Only 300 seats. If you have a bad time on that particular day, guess what, you're out. The rest go to the second grade engineering school, where Intel and IBM don't stop by for campus interviews in the final year.
That's how Asia works. That's how the world works. That's what is meant by competition. And how do the 300 that get in get in?? I practiced multiple choice questions for three years, and towards the end I went hardcore with clock timers and trying my best to finish all 100 within two hours, with scores of companies publishing test booklets. Only practice and parental inspiration and a little scary talk about a scary, competitive world does the trick. Having a bad day is not okay.
And what happens when every parent decides what is challenging and not challenging for their wards?? Do they have a cross-sectional map of the young one's brains?
When generals send their troops to war in a siege, do they pick some guys out and say, you can't fight like the other soldiers, so you can stay in the barracks, you may have a bad day????
Let me tell you about competitive tests I used to take in my teens for entry into professional engineering schools. 100 questions, combined in math and physics. Two hours of time and thousands taking the test. Only 300 seats. If you have a bad time on that particular day, guess what, you're out. The rest go to the second grade engineering school, where Intel and IBM don't stop by for campus interviews in the final year.
That's how Asia works. That's how the world works. ...
I think your viewpoint is valid & many parents (especially Asian & Jewish moms) would concur. But just judging by the posts in this thread & talking to many of my friends who're professionals it's not the only strategy to attain success in your career, or for that fact, in your life.
Just as there are many parents who want to push their children into law, medicine or engineering (where GPA/ranking/test scores matter a lot), there's an equal number who would rather their children be less intellectually-focused, more well-rounded & take time to find their own path in life.
I think it really comes to down to how much your family values academic success or covets professional degrees. My gf's father is a multi-millionaire distributor of medical equipment and he dismisses anyone with a CPA, MBA or JD. He thinks that kind of schooling is a waste of time & money.
On the other hand, I get flack from my Indian cardiologist college buddy, who openly mocks anyone who doesn't have a post-grad degree from a named university (including me!). For him life is a race for status and the only way to assure success is through the fast track of traditional professions where you need to study & excel on every single test.
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How are ya???
Look at the baby boomers, yesteryears children, all that brouhaha about world peace, flower power, woodstock, rock n roll, drugs, love for one another, John Lennon and calling themselves the golden generation - what did they really acieve? Nothing, except ruined retirement funds, trillions in deficit, MBS galore and a culture of debt and excesses. Do we want today's children to grow up like them??
