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Can you name a couple (?) because I've been rackin' my brain all day trying to think of one hotel I know of that doesn't accept kids under 12. Granted I always looked for the "Kids Eat Free" places but still...
Anybody?
Me too, because I've been in many upscale hotels and seen plenty of children as guests. Also, if the OP can afford all of these trips, perhaps the family should do as other wealthy families do, and fly privately. Where there's a will....
Last edited by LVKim8; 02-08-2011 at 03:53 PM..
Reason: duplicate word
I think it depends on your desired outcome. If you just want to say you're a parent, and produce kids, then what you're doing is fine.
If you wish to have a meaningful connection with your kids that can influence their choices and futures in a positive way, then you'll want to spend more time with them - even when it's inconvenient, and messy, and hectic. Did you not expect that kids would need care when you had them? Did you think they would sit, quietly and meekly, until you desired their company? Kids are real people, with their own desires, needs, and personalities! They're not props.
If you treat them like props, depending on their temperament, they may have mental health issues in the future, be unable to connect with others on a deep level, etc.
But if you just want to check off on a list: 'had kids' then you're good to go.
I think it depends on your desired outcome. If you just want to say you're a parent, and produce kids, then what you're doing is fine.
If you wish to have a meaningful connection with your kids that can influence their choices and futures in a positive way, then you'll want to spend more time with them - even when it's inconvenient, and messy, and hectic. Did you not expect that kids would need care when you had them? Did you think they would sit, quietly and meekly, until you desired their company? Kids are real people, with their own desires, needs, and personalities! They're not props.
If you treat them like props, depending on their temperament, they may have mental health issues in the future, be unable to connect with others on a deep level, etc.
But if you just want to check off on a list: 'had kids' then you're good to go.
Choose long hours or alone time but not both- your children have no choice. If you are working tough hours - you need to take those children on vacations with you - or sacrifice the vacations. You will not get these years back. I worked a tough schedule when mine were your age and we sacrificed our alone time for vacations for all of us. Every vacation - I learned something new by being with my children with a week at a time - uninterrupted.
Last edited by Green Irish Eyes; 02-08-2011 at 04:46 PM..
Reason: We're trying not to use that word, please. Thanks!
You spend 5 hours a week with your kids. Can you quantify how you are spending the other 163 hours each week?
You made a life-long commitment to be a parent when you got knocked up. What you are doing now is laying the groundwork to raise 3 kids who will have dysfunctional relationships because they dont know the unconditional love of a parent- kids who will probably need a lot of therapy and will lash out greatly in their teen years (sex, drugs, etc) because they have money and no morals/values instilled by their parents.
5-year-olds are PLENTY old enough to travel with you and the 3 year old is almost old enough. They all have 2 legs, I presume, and can walk all over any US, European, or other city. Your job as their parent is to teach them about the world and themselves- family trips should be planned around something educational (appropriate for their age- ie, read Make Way For Ducklings with them and then go to Boston and see the famous swan boats in the Boston Commons). Of course, you and hubby should have your own romantic getaways from time to time....but you should WANT to spend time as a family. You seem to be full of excuses why you don't want to spend time as a family.
Wow. Just wow. I can't imagine spending just 5 hours a week with my son. My kid is my best friend AND I'm a big, bad Momma Bear on top of that. You can't just produce kids and then leave them to fend for themselves mentally. You are responsible for creating a model citizen that makes good judgment choices in life. If they start reproducing at age 14, getting arrested, doing drugs, drinking, lying, stealing and not being held accountable for their actions, you have nobody to blame but yourself. A cousin of mine is a good person but a terrible Mother. She let her kids know from day one that she did her "wifely duty" to conceive them and that as soon as they were 18 yrs old they were on their own. So, basically her kids are degenerates right now and it's no wonder why. She'd rather sit in a casino feeding a machine rather than heat up a tv dinner for her family. Don't let that happen to your kids.
It's all about QUALITY than quantity. What good would it be for a child to spend all day long with a parent who is physically around, but not paying attention to them?
I stay home with my daughter. In the morning I take her out and spend "quality" time with her. That would be around 2 hours. Other times and especially in the afternoon, I do my domestic duties but I am still available to her. I always ask her if she would like to help and she does for about 10 minutes at a time. During this time she is learning how to wash, sweep, put things away, match lids with tupperware, etc.. When she gets bored but sees that I am busy, she has learned how to entertain herself without the TV and without feeling neglected. She has also learned how to handle things on her own because I wont always stop what I am doing. Then we go to the park so she can play with other children. By 7 pm, things wind down, I can spend time with my husband because many of the domestic duties, my job, were taken care of during the day.
I would much prefer this than to a parent who works long hours, spends every non-working moment with their child but doesn't have any time for herself or her spouse.
We have never taken a trip w/out our children. We rarely do anything w/out our children, partly because we don't live near any family & haven't bothered to find a babysitter, but mainly, because we don't want to.
Yes, it would be so nice to have a dinner out once in awhile w/just my husband but I don't think I would do well on several vacations away from them...
This is why I say that just because someone gave birth to a child, doesn't make them a parent..... (speaking as an adoptive mom).
hmmm ok- i thought your answers would be something like that. but just to add to someone who said her husband was in boarding school and now he wants different for his kids.
well i don't think boarding school is a punishement- it is a privilege. i'm happy that my parents could give me something like that. i don't see that as something bad.
i suppose we are all different. but i would be mental if i was forced to be stay at home mom- and doing same thing over and over again. i'm not saying that is wrong but just not my thing.
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