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Parents always say they will stop but they never do.
Well into a an adult childs life they will hover and control and try to do for them in regards to everything.
I know a 21 year old who's mom tries to still control everything and tries to micromanage and its not beneficial to the 21 year old I know in any way, its the most detrimental thing happening to her.
My priority is the safety and well-being of my children, but I do believe the hovering is getting a bit out of control. A good example is the drop off at my kids school. If you bring kids to school by car you can park in the lot and walk them in, or use the car-pool line. In the car-pool line a teacher will walk up to your car, help your kid out, and close the door. I notice more and more that the parents are now inclined to stop the car, get out, and take the children out themselves giving hugs and kisses while the teacher stands watching them. It's ridiculous. There is no safety issue involved, it is very inconsiderate to others.
My priority is the safety and well-being of my children, but I do believe the hovering is getting a bit out of control. A good example is the drop off at my kids school. If you bring kids to school by car you can park in the lot and walk them in, or use the car-pool line. In the car-pool line a teacher will walk up to your car, help your kid out, and close the door. I notice more and more that the parents are now inclined to stop the car, get out, and take the children out themselves giving hugs and kisses while the teacher stands watching them. It's ridiculous. There is no safety issue involved, it is very inconsiderate to others.
I agree. Criminy, how much safer could they be in the above situation?
My kids are well beyond the "hovering" age, 23 and almost 27 and don't live with us any more. However, back in the day, I let my middle schoolers go to the ice rink w/o any direct adult supervision. After all, there are adults working there to supervise. Of course, limits were set re: how much money I'd give them, when I would pick up, etc. They also went to the mall with a group of friends by early high school. This was before the days when "everyone" had a cell phone. We didn't get cell phones for anyone, even ourselves until they were about 13 and 16, about 10 years ago.
I do not think the world is more dangerous than it was when my kids were younger, or when I was younger. A pedophile can always figure out a way to get to a kid, for example. S/he doesn't need Facebook, a cell phone, etc. This is nothing new.
Parents always say they will stop but they never do.
Well into a an adult childs life they will hover and control and try to do for them in regards to everything.
You never met my mother. Who put her size 6 shoe firmly on our backsides and said, "Fly, dang it!"
Parents always say they will stop but they never do.
Well into a an adult childs life they will hover and control and try to do for them in regards to everything.
I know a 21 year old who's mom tries to still control everything and tries to micromanage and its not beneficial to the 21 year old I know in any way, its the most detrimental thing happening to her.
When a 21 year old still lives in the parents' home then either that 21 year old hasn't grown up yet or doesn't really mind having rules.
Hopefully the 21 year old will grow up and move out and make it on his/her own or else stop complaining. A parent will tend to hover until the child proves he has grown up completely and is self-sufficient.
I know a woman who is 60 who stayed with her elderly mother when she got out from the hospital and the mother still told her it was time for her to go to bed, and mothers will tell grown men - adult sons - to wash their hands and come eat dinner - it's really only after the grown child leaves home that the relationship changes.
Parents always say they will stop but they never do.
Well into a an adult childs life they will hover and control and try to do for them in regards to everything.
I know a 21 year old who's mom tries to still control everything and tries to micromanage and its not beneficial to the 21 year old I know in any way, its the most detrimental thing happening to her.
Then if Mom's hovering is the most detremental thing happening to this 21 yr old then the 21 yr old should make their own way in this world and separate themselves from their Mom.
I am 43 and my Mother passed away in November. I wish she was still here to hover and be my Mother...
I plan on being there LONG after my daughter turns 18. I seek not too control but to have a long lasting loving relationship with my daughter, so she feels that no matter what, she has someone who will always be on her side.
When a 21 year old still lives in the parents' home then either that 21 year old hasn't grown up yet or doesn't really mind having rules.
Hopefully the 21 year old will grow up and move out and make it on his/her own or else stop complaining. A parent will tend to hover until the child proves he has grown up completely and is self-sufficient.
I know a woman who is 60 who stayed with her elderly mother when she got out from the hospital and the mother still told her it was time for her to go to bed, and mothers will tell grown men - adult sons - to wash their hands and come eat dinner - it's really only after the grown child leaves home that the relationship changes.
That's true in general, but not in all cases. My mother has lived with me for the past 5 years and goes through my stuff all the time. I eventually put a keyed lock on my door and she got a locksmith in while I was at work. Her opinion is that if I had nothing to hide I wouldn't have done it. She opens my mail, ... She has absolutely refused to acknowledge I want and deserve privacy for the past 40 years. She does the same with my daughter, just not as bad as with me. She also doesn't trust or belive a word I say. Really frustrating and dangerous. For example she will leave the mayo on the counter all day so I throw it out for food safety issues (I am diabetic so I get sick easy). She will pick it out and put it into the fridge. She stopped this when I got my aunt to tell her it was dangerous for me. I've been an actuary for 25 years yet ignores anything I say about insurance in lieu of the people on TV as they are the experts. Oh well, at least my dad was sane I miss him.
I wish she would move out, but she has nowhere to go (wonder why).
I am 43 and my Mother passed away in November. I wish she was still here to hover and be my Mother...
I plan on being there LONG after my daughter turns 18. I seek not too control but to have a long lasting loving relationship with my daughter, so she feels that no matter what, she has someone who will always be on her side.
Same here. My dad was like that. Just because they're 18 or 21 or 35 doesn't mean they don't have questions or need advise.
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