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my 9 year old granddaughter is slow doing homework, slow getting dressed, slow doing anything she is supposed to do. this is affecting her grades (she gets all A's but it takes her 6 hours to do homework every nite which is outrageous and taxing on the family), home life, etc. now apparently she can't even keep up in class because the teacher is "going too fast" for her standards. she's having crying fits at school because of this and the teacher has told my daughter she is worried about her and her "anxiety" prokblem.
teacher says she's a perfectionist and likes to take her time
i tell my daughter she needs to be punished so that she learns that sometimes in life you need to have a sense of urgency
how do other people deal with dawdling kids???? my daughter just puts up with it and says "she's a turtle, that's just how she is."
my 9 year old granddaughter is slow doing homework, slow getting dressed, slow doing anything she is supposed to do. this is affecting her grades (she gets all A's but it takes her 6 hours to do homework every nite which is outrageous and taxing on the family), home life, etc. now apparently she can't even keep up in class because the teacher is "going too fast" for her standards. she's having crying fits at school because of this and the teacher has told my daughter she is worried about her and her "anxiety" prokblem.
teacher says she's a perfectionist and likes to take her time
i tell my daughter she needs to be punished so that she learns that sometimes in life you need to have a sense of urgency
how do other people deal with dawdling kids???? my daughter just puts up with it and says "she's a turtle, that's just how she is."
Good grief woman - you do not punish a child who has a real psychological problem!
Get some professional guidance - or better yet, have the child's PARENTS get her some professional help.
If you don't help a child with anxiety and perfectionism learn to cope they grow into miserable adults unable to function in the real world without a lot of struggles.
yes, punish. i find it curious that she is NOT SLOW when it comes to things she wants to do, like playing extremely intricate and fast-moving video games, watching movies, spending hours on the computer, playing sports, going to theme parks, etc. she's real fast when it comes to those things.
i think she may be being passive aggressive here with the school work and with getting dressed in the morning and doing things she just doesn't give a hoot about
also while i assume the teacher has some training, she is certainly not qualified to diagnose anxiety disorder in a child. and lets face it, EVERY CHILD HAS ANXIETY DISORDER or ADD or ADHD these days. i think some of those diagnoses are legitimate, and many are not
i will recommend to my daughter that she be evaluated
but i think a lot of this is that she is a SPOILED BRAT
yes, punish. i find it curious that she is NOT SLOW when it comes to things she wants to do, like playing extremely intricate and fast-moving video games, watching movies, spending hours on the computer, playing sports, going to theme parks, etc. she's real fast when it comes to those things.
i think she may be being passive aggressive here with the school work and with getting dressed in the morning and doing things she just doesn't give a hoot about
also while i assume the teacher has some training, she is certainly not qualified to diagnose anxiety disorder in a child. and lets face it, EVERY CHILD HAS ANXIETY DISORDER or ADD or ADHD these days. i think some of those diagnoses are legitimate, and many are not
i will recommend to my daughter that she be evaluated
but i think a lot of this is that she is a SPOILED BRAT
Wow.
And if she is "spoiled", SOMEBODY had to do that TO her. She didn't spoil herself.
Last edited by Jaded; 10-27-2013 at 01:03 AM..
Reason: Removed personal attack
my 9 year old granddaughter is slow doing homework, slow getting dressed, slow doing anything she is supposed to do. this is affecting her grades (she gets all A's but it takes her 6 hours to do homework every nite which is outrageous and taxing on the family), home life, etc. now apparently she can't even keep up in class because the teacher is "going too fast" for her standards. she's having crying fits at school because of this and the teacher has told my daughter she is worried about her and her "anxiety" prokblem.
teacher says she's a perfectionist and likes to take her time
i tell my daughter she needs to be punished so that she learns that sometimes in life you need to have a sense of urgency
how do other people deal with dawdling kids???? my daughter just puts up with it and says "she's a turtle, that's just how she is."
While it is true that dawdling can result from children's personalities, it seems her mother still has to deal with it since it is causing such disruption in the child's life.
It sounds like she has been this way since she was quite young, so I don't know that there have been any changes that might account for it. Still, does she have a new sibling? Did she just begin a new school? Think about anything that might be causing her to be distracted.
Instead of asking her to do things several times, try getting down on her level or touching her arm to get her attention and making sure she is hearing what you want her to do. Don't yell or lose your cool. Explain to her what the consequences of dawdling are. You won't have time enough to play before you leave or you will not get to go to a favorite activity.
Build extra time into her schedule.
Is the school work too hard? too easy? Can accommodations be made in the classroom that help her with that. Is the classroom too distracting? Could she be having problems with bullying? Is she a perfectionist wanting to do everything right so she takes her time? Is she getting enough sleep? Is she getting enough active play?
Do get an evaluation for anxiety or other possible disorders as well.
my 9 year old granddaughter is slow doing homework, slow getting dressed, slow doing anything she is supposed to do. this is affecting her grades (she gets all A's but it takes her 6 hours to do homework every nite which is outrageous and taxing on the family), home life, etc. now apparently she can't even keep up in class because the teacher is "going too fast" for her standards. she's having crying fits at school because of this and the teacher has told my daughter she is worried about her and her "anxiety" prokblem.
teacher says she's a perfectionist and likes to take her time
i tell my daughter she needs to be punished so that she learns that sometimes in life you need to have a sense of urgency
how do other people deal with dawdling kids???? my daughter just puts up with it and says "she's a turtle, that's just how she is."
She might be a bit OCD, but then you have to look at what's going on in the home that would make her OCD and try to help her relax more so she can get her work done.
She may be so hung up on details, being too perfect that it's bogging her down. Perfectionists can end up always struggling because it's all or nothing, and in fact sometimes they end up failing completely for that reason.
Now I don't care what YOUR VIEW IS of anxiety disorders, ADHD or add. But what you are describing needs professional help. You should seek separate treatment.
Your granddaughter is going to need tutoring to keep up with what is going on. And therapy to learn how to cope with whatever is slowing her down. She is struggling too. Don't forget that. You think a 9 year old wants to have a meltdown in front of their peers?! She is screaming for help. Help her!
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