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I said I was LOOKING FOR the cause of the boy's sickness. That means, I was looking for the missing pieces. And what was missing (and what's still missing) is "what role did this boy's father play, in the life of the boy, prior to puberty?" You're saying he worked. You're NOT saying he participated in ANY father-son activities. I'm looking at what is missing. What is missing, is a LOT of information about this tale. The father's role in it, is ONE OF THE MANY piece of information that has not been mentioned. And still hasn't been mentioned. It's still missing information. I find your dodging the question and getting defensive about a claim that was never made, is a lot more revealing than anything you've posted about this so far.
This post disturbs me to no end, to think that a child that is so violent cannot be helped. No parent EVER wants to get to this point, but maybe it is time the OP has him arrested and sent to juvie. If he really is threatening his sister and mother with a knife that is assault and an adult would be arrested if they were doing this. To think the CPS and the police don't think this is a serious matter blows my mind, if this boy is as violent as we are being told and if he is only violent at home and does not get in trouble in school, then he has awesome control. I would think if someone had such seemingly serious mental issues as we are being told he does, then that person would be unable to control themselves and would be doing this at school. Like I said I have only read some of the OP's previous posts so it is possible I am missing part of the story in regards to this child.
He was arrested and sent to juvenile when we lived in our previous county. it didn't seem to affect him at all. Besides, you simply don't "have a person arrested'. I've pleaded with police here to arrest the kid and they refuse to do so. the only thing they did, if you've read through this whole thread, was to charge me with child abandonment because I insisted he be arrested, I stated I wasn't going to spend the night with that kid alone (dh was not at home that night), then they called CPS and said I had abandoned him, even though he was right there in the house.
I know these "tales' might seem incredible, but truth is often strange. basically, the "system" doesn't do much of anyhting when it come to viiolent, out-of-control teens, they actually almost encourage it by allowing them to get away with it.
Tot the poster who doubed my story when i said dh was grappling with him and he called 911, well, he had a cordless phone hidden in the jacket he was wearing, and, obviously, he managed to gain access to it during the process somehow. Go figure this any way you wish.that's what happened.
This post disturbs me to no end, to think that a child that is so violent cannot be helped. No parent EVER wants to get to this point, but maybe it is time the OP has him arrested and sent to juvie. If he really is threatening his sister and mother with a knife that is assault and an adult would be arrested if they were doing this. To think the CPS and the police don't think this is a serious matter blows my mind, if this boy is as violent as we are being told and if he is only violent at home and does not get in trouble in school, then he has awesome control. I would think if someone had such seemingly serious mental issues as we are being told he does, then that person would be unable to control themselves and would be doing this at school. Like I said I have only read some of the OP's previous posts so it is possible I am missing part of the story in regards to this child.
He does get in trouble at school. They send him to ISS (in school suspension), they have expelled him several times, and have sent him to alternative shcools. See, I'm not the only one who's exhausted their resources without much results.
He was arrested and sent to juvenile when we lived in our previous county. it didn't seem to affect him at all. Besides, you simply don't "have a person arrested'. I've pleaded with police here to arrest the kid and they refuse to do so. the only thing they did, if you've read through this whole thread, was to charge me with child abandonment because I insisted he be arrested, I stated I wasn't going to spend the night with that kid alone (dh was not at home that night), then they called CPS and said I had abandoned him, even though he was right there in the house.
I know these "tales' might seem incredible, but truth is often strange. basically, the "system" doesn't do much of anyhting when it come to viiolent, out-of-control teens, they actually almost encourage it by allowing them to get away with it.
Tot the poster who doubed my story when i said dh was grappling with him and he called 911, well, he had a cordless phone hidden in the jacket he was wearing, and, obviously, he managed to gain access to it during the process somehow. Go figure this any way you wish.that's what happened.
I am still wondering if this boy is her biological child, and if he is how in the world did things get so out of control. I could understand if he was adopted and noone knew what he had gone through before his adoption that could explain his behaviour.
I find it strange that a day or two ago the OP had managed to make strides in getting the kids to help with chores and now things are crazy again.
I am still wondering if this boy is her biological child, and if he is how in the world did things get so out of control. I could understand if he was adopted and noone knew what he had gone through before his adoption that could explain his behaviour.
I find it strange that a day or two ago the OP had managed to make strides in getting the kids to help with chores and now things are crazy again.
I've seen this type of thing happen before. My girlfriend, who lives in a different state, had similar problems with her daughter. He daughter pulled a knife on her once too.
Turns out that her daughter was involved in drugs (pills, nonprescription and prescription pills). She'd be sweet and fine one day and violent the next.
Drugs change children's behavior. Before her mother figured out she was doing drugs, they had her receiving mental treatment.
Yeah, it doesn't seem normal unless you know families that have struggled with children who were seriously using drugs, not just experimenting, but lost to drugs.
I think this mom has received some good information mixed with some judgmental rubber-necking. I get it that the story sounds dramatic and the poster might come across as not very sympathetic, but she came here for advice and support - not to be put on the defensive.
I hope this family finds some help somewhere. I don't think judgmental questioning is going to get them any closer to a peaceful home.
I've seen this type of thing happen before. My girlfriend, who lives in a different state, had similar problems with her daughter. He daughter pulled a knife on her once too.
Turns out that her daughter was involved in drugs (pills, nonprescription and prescription pills). She'd be sweet and fine one day and violent the next.
Drugs change children's behavior. Before her mother figured out she was doing drugs, they had her receiving mental treatment.
Yeah, it doesn't seem normal unless you know families that have struggled with children who were seriously using drugs, not just experimenting, but lost to drugs.
Yeah that might be the case, but this kid has been in trouble with the law, is on probation, has been in juvenile lockup, all several times in the past. These incidences come with mandatory drug testing - and probation comes with mandatory random drug testing.
If he is a serious or even casual drug user, then one of these drug tests would have picked up something along the way. If he was never tested, then this is just one more thing in a list of things that countless professionals in a myriad of specialties failed to do. And it would give me even more reason to question the entire situation.
Yeah that might be the case, but this kid has been in trouble with the law, is on probation, has been in juvenile lockup, all several times in the past. These incidences come with mandatory drug testing - and probation comes with mandatory random drug testing.
If he is a serious or even casual drug user, then one of these drug tests would have picked up something along the way. If he was never tested, then this is just one more thing in a list of things that countless professionals in a myriad of specialties failed to do. And it would give me even more reason to question the entire situation.
He's been tested for drugs many times, but those tests aren't all inclusive, subject to human error, and probation does come with random drug testing, but that doesn't mean they always catch the person in the act. Its just like auditing income taxes, that doesn't guarantee all cheats will be caught.
I don't know if h'es actually using drugs or not, nor does anyone else! Question the situation if you wish, like I said in my O_P, I'm simply not disclosing every little detail, mainly to protect our privacy, and not to titillate the rubber neckers.
See, I'm not the only one who's exhausted their resources without much results.
Marylee, sometimes I feel like I'm here to be your cheerleader.
The "exhausted their resources" is negative thinking and talking. Have you? Are you absolutely sure you have looked under ever rock to find what you need? I know you are sick and tired but you have to turn your thinking around to, "tried everything and it all sucks" to "OK. That didn't work, what's next?"
Part of that you are doing by coming on here. But please, you need to re-read a few of these posts because I think some people have pointed you in directions you haven't yet gone. A few people have given you links. Have you looked at those web sites? What about the drug angle? Have you started your research on that? This is the afternoon to start. Today.
And you have to decide just how much you are willing to fight. If this boy had a terminal disease would you give up?
Trust me on one thing: You are not the only family in America who has had to downsize, work extra jobs, in the attempt to get a child help. You do what you have to do.
How much does your husband help? There are, and have been through history, men who have worked two and three jobs, come home dead tired, and are still hands on dads and supportive, involved fathers. If I thought my husband wasn't pulling his half of the load emotionally, I'd sit him down and we'd talk. Until he understood what I needed and I understood where he was coming from.
BTW: There are home drug tests. Personally, I'd test his hair.
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