U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 03-05-2011, 03:52 PM
 
13,749 posts, read 22,613,844 times
Reputation: 38402

Advertisements

When I used to hire a babysitter, I tried to make the night special for my kids. They would have a meal not usually on the menu, such as pizza or fast food, and I'd pick up a movie for them to watch before bedtime. I expected the babysitter to get them to bed at a reasonable hour, but wasn't too worried if they stayed up later than usual.

I have a good friend who insists her children be put to bed at the usual time (by 7:00), and is having a lot of trouble getting anyone to come back to sit a second time. Another friend with a daughter of babysitting age tells me her girl won't go back to this house, but she is reluctant to say why, and just makes excuses.

Friend #1 has three under the age of 5. If the kids won't stay in bed, the sitters are instructed to lock their doors(from the outside) to keep them in their room. If she gets a bad report on any of them, they will be spanked upon her return. But, nobody wants to be the mean babysitter who puts all that in motion, so instead, they say no if asked to sit again.

What do you expect from your sitters? I think my friend is asking too much of the teens she hires. Otherwise, although I don't believe in spanking, she is a wonderful, loving mother.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-05-2011, 03:55 PM
 
Location: NC
1,695 posts, read 4,235,050 times
Reputation: 1865
i wouldnt babysit for her at all with those rules in place.

when we do have (a neighbor, not a babysitter) watch the kids for us (which is very rare) I dont care if the kids stay up till we get home. heck, they usually crash on their own anyways- at the VERY latest 10 (at 12 and 4 years of age) and quite often much earlier than that.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2011, 04:05 PM
 
13,749 posts, read 22,613,844 times
Reputation: 38402
That's the way I played it too. If anything, I wanted a babysitter to be synonymous with fun. Meanwhile, I have two friends who are upset here. #1 can't get a sitter, and #2 think her rules are too strict for her teen to enforce.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2011, 04:36 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 16,014,412 times
Reputation: 12972
mattie I too think a night with the babysitter should be fun. I do disagree that the mom in your op doesn't sound like a great gal to me. locking your kids in their rooms seems like a cruel and easy way for a parent to cop out of real parenting. spanking them for a bad report? seems pretty unreasonable as well. how bad can kids under 5 be?

do her a favor and tell her why sitters won't come to her house. maybe she will lighten up. other than that I hope she finds a sitter who has enough self confidence to ignore her "rules"
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2011, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Rogers, Arkansas
1,280 posts, read 4,364,251 times
Reputation: 1219
I also think, other than rules which are basic and/or extremely important in your religion/ culture/ family, you should trust your babysitter enough not to micromanage everything for them. If you don't trust them enough, you shouldn't hire them anyways. I can understand keeping the same bed time, especially if the kids have to be up in the morning for school/ daycare. But like you, we allow fast food on babysitter nights, and the locking the door thing would freak me out if I was the sitter- or the child! I have no problem with spanking, but with kids so young it needs to be immediate (not that the babysitter should spank!)- hours later when you come home it is too difficult for the small child to connect the miss behaviour with the spanking.

Maybe your friend should look at older babysitters though; a professional service or, if kids go to playschool, maybe one of the teachers there? Not just because of the rules, but also because three under 5 are a lot to handle for a (young) teen. I have three under 3 (well, the twins just turned 3!), and I wouldn't hire anyone who isn't at least a student with experience handling several young kids.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2011, 04:50 PM
 
47,531 posts, read 63,687,267 times
Reputation: 22345
I remember being a kid. We were pretty bad for babysitters who tried to put rules on us but were pretty good for the ones who said we could stay up with them.

For that reason I think the parents should tell the babysitter that the kids can stay up an hour more but if they don't want to go to bed, just let them stay up longer.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2011, 05:56 PM
 
32,525 posts, read 32,880,229 times
Reputation: 32454
We always made "babysitter nights" special for them. It also helped when they were young and clingy and didn't want us to leave. A night with some treats in store helped us get out the door. Plus we had one babysitter whom we trusted and they adored. Young boys, cute hippie-ish baby sitter who brought over her music tapes. Win-win.

(You know she's good when they get in trouble and they're mad at you and they say, "I wish ____ was my mom!")
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2011, 06:37 PM
 
Location: Wildside of Oahu
1,412 posts, read 2,946,247 times
Reputation: 2453
I'm suprised no one has mentioned the danger of locking the kids in their rooms. What happens in the event of a fire? Someone needs to run around and unlock the doors? What if one of the kids threw up and then choked?

Sounds like this mom needs to have her noggin check.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2011, 06:44 PM
 
13,749 posts, read 22,613,844 times
Reputation: 38402
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joliefille View Post
I'm suprised no one has mentioned the danger of locking the kids in their rooms. What happens in the event of a fire? Someone needs to run around and unlock the doors? What if one of the kids threw up and then choked?

Sounds like this mom needs to have her noggin check.
That was my first thought too when I heard. She told me she only locks it when they refuse to stay in their rooms, and the doors are always unlocked before the parents go to bed, or when the kids fall asleep. I still think it's awful but that's how my friend was raised, and she sees it as a last resort.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2011, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Boston, MA
4,472 posts, read 9,024,817 times
Reputation: 4329
We always had fun with our babysitter. Both of the "regulars" where related to us. One was a cousin and one was my mom's cousin's daughter. My cousin and I still talk about the time me and he where locked outside in the summer while my sister was in her crib. We had to wait till my mom got home to go in! It was a summer afternoon and we where only waiting maybe an hour tops. It's a funny story that me, my mom and my cousin look back on.

When I babysat the mom literally said "bye have fun" and left. No rules, no guidelines, nothing.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top