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I think you can find a balance between throwaway toys and investing in a child's future. What about membership to a local children's museum, or a magazine subscription? My great-grandmother subscribed to Highlights for me for years, and I pored over those things every month. My grandparents got my two younger children a subscription, and they love getting it in the mail. There are plenty of educational toys from Melissa & Doug, Lego, etc. Heck, crayons and an art pad. I'm not a big fan of the Leapster and other videogame-style stuff. I think kids need to play and run around and pretend and build things--and read real books. Helping a kid do those things is just as much of an investment into his future as putting a check into a college fund.
Great Post.
Thanks for all the responses everyone I really enjoy reading what everyone has to say and I think we can all learn a little bit from a thread such as this... even if it is only a cool and useful birthday present for your childs next birthday
Good night everyone look forward to posting with you all.
In my opinion, the way that we give gifts through our children’s childhood is completely wasteful. I read that by the time a child is 18, they have received anywhere from 15,000 to 30,000 in gifts through birthdays, holidays, graduations, etc
I mean why do we put so much emphasis on little toys, trinkets or gift certificates when we could actually be making significant contributions to our children’s future? (Saving for college, first car, etc)
I say why even bother letting the kids be kids & just start them at a 9-5 job when they can walk. I mean, why not?
And I think the 15,000-30,000 was probably in monetary terms.
I don't raise other people's children, so it's really none of my business.
I do have kids of my own though & doing what "I" think is best to raise a well rounded child who has learned many of the basic tenets of life.
It's when the mommy wars start that it is like driving nails down a chalkboard.....
I think a little toy or a book is far more valuable than saving for a first car (not sure how that matters to a child's future)! Some gifts are wasteful, some aren't. And play is an essential part of a child's development (and is just plain fun!). That said, gifts don't have to be expensive, and there are some really over-priced and junky items out there being foisted off on families. I'd go for quality over quantity, with quality not being defined just by dollars.
I agree, and with all the subsequent similar posts that follow. Why not a little of each, say, $25 to the savings account and a small gift. Granted, they'll appreciate the savings acct. when they get older, and I'm all for teaching delayed gratification, but at 5, they don't really know what a savings account is. As kids get older, gifts can get more practical, e.g. girls almost always like clothes; there is always something the kids need.
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu
With our first set of kids, I found myself too much focused on number of gifts under the tree or around the birthday cake. I also felt like each kid had to have the same number of gifts to open. this was encouraged by a son who counted everything and kept track to make sure it was all "fair".
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A pack of origami paper and a library book about origami projects will give so much more enjoyment than 25 plastic farm animals.
I got the message across about "fairness" early on with my kids, e.g. "fair doesn't always mean 'the same'. OTOH, I think an equal # of Christmas presents is important for very young kids who have no idea of the value of money. An older child can hopefully understand that the video game or fancy piece of clothing s/he wanted costs more than little kids' toys.
Some kids may get a lot of play value out of the 25 plastic farm animals. Not everyone is into origami.
Quote:
Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist
I assume it was dollars. It would be interesting to see what that number includes, though; many of our gifts have included such essentials as clothing. Baby gifts, in particular, are often very practical.
Besides, gifts are gifts. Unless someone has asked, you can't exactly demand that friends and relatives give your kid only savings bonds (which is a GREAT present, by the way; just supplement them with a little something for the here-and-now!) or contribute to a savings fund.
And as noted, toys do have value for the future! (although I hope people don't only plan their lives around what is practical)
I assumed it was dollars, too. Another thing to keep in mind is that the item may have been purchased anyway, if not given as a gift. For example, each of my kids got a bike as a birthday gift at 7-8 (can't remember which right now). Truthfully, we would have gotten them bikes anyway, if we hadn't gotten them for their birthdays. Also, Christmas/birthdays are a good time to give something a child has coveted which is perhaps useful but not totally necessary, such as a nice pair of ski gloves, etc. (This for the older child, of course.)
Well, I agree about learning through play and books. We went to the library once a week. When my mom explained that I could get my own card with my name on it and a special "bag" for my books(an old canvas sack that she madeover) I was all over it. I loved those weekly trips and I'm sure it didn't cost a lot. I think if the parent feels that they are depriving their children then the children will pick up on it. I actually enjoyed homemade boardgames and maraca-ssins made out of shoe boxes filled with rice on my feet. We got a "big" gift at Christmas and birthdays. The rest of the time it was a reward for good grades or some other achievement. Maybe kids are different nowadays.
Gift-giving is one of the oldest and most useless forms of pageantry in human culture. The only reason it is retained is because the retail market for consumer goods keeps spending billions of dollars persuading people that NOT giving a gift is a direct path to social ostracization.
I do not ever want anybody to give me a gift, for any reason or pretext. If i need it or want it, i already have it. Which is a guarantee that If I don't already have it, I don't need and don't want it.
We've been invited to several birthday parties this year and last year where instead of giving the birthday person gifts, we were asked to donate to a local charity on behalf of the birthday boy or girl. It was pretty cool. One parent invited the entire grade - 130 kids - and raised almost $2000 for the local chapter of the humane society.
We like giving memberships. We call around to places like the science factories and local pools and gyms and theaters and such and find out if that family/child has a memberhips and if they dont, we buy them one for the gift. Experiences are way more fun and memorable than toys and junk.
We've been invited to several birthday parties this year and last year where instead of giving the birthday person gifts, we were asked to donate to a local charity on behalf of the birthday boy or girl. It was pretty cool. One parent invited the entire grade - 130 kids - and raised almost $2000 for the local chapter of the humane society.
We like giving memberships. We call around to places like the science factories and local pools and gyms and theaters and such and find out if that family/child has a memberhips and if they dont, we buy them one for the gift. Experiences are way more fun and memorable than toys and junk.
Apparently you missed the thread discussing this trend of asking for donations instead of gifts. A lot of us were lukewarm about this, especially when the donation is for a specific charity. Speaking for myself, I don't like to be told what charity to donate to. Memberships are great, but aren't they a little expensive?
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