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I have five siblings. My father had three boys by his first wife. My mother had a girl by her first husband and a boy by her second. Then there's me...the only full biological child of both of my parents. So basically it's a really messed up Brady Bunch situation.
The 3 boys on my dad's side are very rowdy. My brother on my mom's side is very smart. And I'm...well, weird, but also smart. Neither my brother or myself ever got blamed for ANYTHING. My mother would make the 3 boys stand in separate corners until they confessed to which one committed the crime of the hour. It was taken as a given that my 'smart' brother and myself were innocent.
So of course I would set things up (like leaving a radio on high so it would blare music when plugged in) to watch my brothers get the blame.
In my defense, they were kind of jerks to me growing up.
I must tell you a funny story, I used to teach disabled children, and this one little boy, was blind, and autistic, he had several brothers and sisters. Well, candy bars kept "disappearing" from the cupboard, apparently those were fund raising candy only, not to be just eaten all the time. And the Mother was telling me how mad she was at the older kids, for taking those candy bars. They said they never did it, and accused each other...no one "copped" to the "crime"...but one day, the Mom was in the kitchen, and she saw my student trailing the wall, turning, and feeling for the cupboard with the candy, he reached in, and got out four candy bars, and walked back to his room. His Mom cried when she told me this story, because she blamed her other kids, and just never imagined that "Jimmy" could take that candy, or even find it. She did not even know that he knew where it was...she just thought that he could never do anything "bad"...the funny thing, is that he just smiled when the family all talked about the missing candy. He never said a word...and no one even thought of asking him if he knew what happened...
And she was not sure whether to be mad at him, or not...she was just so happy he could find the candy by himself in the kitchen, and sneak it away and eat in his room.
Last edited by jasper12; 08-19-2011 at 12:23 AM..
Reason: edit.
My parents love my little brother more than me, and I'm not just saying that. I've never said anything to anyone, but the other day a friend of mine came up to me and flat out told me that it was obvious they love him more. I think he's favored because of his ridiculously good athletic abilities, something I never quite achieved. He's the world's biggest prick, constantly shoving me around and going out of his way to do/say something rude, and guess who gets the hard end of the stick when I stand up for myself? You guessed it. It's kind of tragic because there really is no one else to love me in my life currently, and I was under the impression that it was a parent's job to love unconditionally, and to stand up for their child when they are mistreated, but I guess that's not the world I live in.
My parents love my little brother more than me, and I'm not just saying that. I've never said anything to anyone, but the other day a friend of mine came up to me and flat out told me that it was obvious they love him more. I think he's favored because of his ridiculously good athletic abilities, something I never quite achieved. He's the world's biggest prick, constantly shoving me around and going out of his way to do/say something rude, and guess who gets the hard end of the stick when I stand up for myself? You guessed it. It's kind of tragic because there really is no one else to love me in my life currently, and I was under the impression that it was a parent's job to love unconditionally, and to stand up for their child when they are mistreated, but I guess that's not the world I live in.
I'm so sorry that you've suffered from a jerk brother like that. Many of us have. I had a brother who did the exact same thing to me as a child. Shove you into things, then act innocent while I got in trouble for "reacting"....while he innocently said, "GOD, I barely touched her! It was an ACCIDENT!" Meanwhile, my parents would say, "You need to stop being such a GD brat! What's WRONG with you!?"
My parents continued this pattern throughout his life. He is now 52, had multiple marriages, multiple restraining orders taken out against him for his abuse of women....etc. He STILL stands back and pretends to be the poor innocent victim in everything he does. Like your brother, he's a major jerk. Eventually, it all comes out in the wash and people like that dig themselves into hole after hole. Some of those "enabling" parents learn from their mistakes, but most of them continue to blame everyone else for their child's behavior. Hang in there. There are a whole lot more important things in life than being a ridiculously gifted athlete......puhlease!
Depending on how the favoritism arises if can be damaging to your relationship with your parents and between siblings as well. It also depends on why the parents are playing favorites as well.
I don't know. All the "favoritism" I witnessed growing up tended to be toward the children who were less capable. The absence of the favorite position was a great asset to my childhood. I had a lot more freedom to be myself as a child. It depends so much on the nature of the dynamic. I actually feel bad for my favorite sister.
I've seen this in families. What often happens is that the siblings resent the heck out of each other when they are adults and often have a hard time letting go of that old hurt. If parents want their kids to grow up and be close to each other they need to be careful how they treat them in terms of favoritism and comparing them to each other, etc.
i know exactly how you feel. i try soo hard to be like my sister and act like her because my parents love her and prefer to talk to her. my dad even told me that he liked her more so than i. i just do not know what to do anymore...it makes me sad to think that one day i will pretty much be by myself because i plan to cut off communication with them after high school. i am my own person and they will never be able to accept that, no matter how well i do or how much i try. i have known this since i was about 13 and havent talked to anyone about because i am afraid too. my dad is not the kind o person you can talk to about personal stuff. also because of this dilemma i have began to resent m sister and we fight more than ever. she knows she is favored and pushes the limits so she can get away with stuff. i know in my heart that i will never live up to their expectations and i am trying to accept that.
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