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Would your parents admit they love or like one of your brothers or sisters more than another? I know this is quite common but has an incredible effect on the kids and adults who are not favored.
Due to chemistry and ease of communication--- do you favor one of your kids more than others? How does it affect your kids?
I think it is completely normal and acceptable for parents to "favor/like/love" SOMETHING about one child more than another.
I don't think "normal" parents LOVE one child more than another. Each child offers something different. Each parent loves each child differently.
My sister NEED/s my parents more than I do/did. That is why they pushed me to move out when I was 18. She still however lives with them at 22! She is a hard worker who loves to party. My parents are the same. I however love school and volunteer work and yearn to see the world and it's people. At the time I felt as if they were pushing me out so they could enjoy the pad without me, almost like a free for all. But I now realize how different we are and I just don't fit in in their lifestyle.
But do they love me any less? NO WAY. Do they like me less? NO WAY. Do they have more fun with my sis? HELL YES! Will my sister be taking care of them in their old age? HELL NO! That's where I come in
My brother was the 'golden child' in our family. He could do no wrong, which turned out to be a horrible way to raise him. He is mean, addicted to drugs, and a criminal. I wish my parents had held him to the same standards they held me to. Things might have turned out differently. My husband and I have been together since 10th grade, so he saw alot of what went on in my house as a teenager. As parents we do everything we can to be as fair to each of our kids as possible.
I have one younger brother, and he always told me I was my parent's favorite. I never saw it that way; I thought they favored him. We were only one year apart. He always had trouble in school, so I felt like he got more attention about school things. He also had a later curfew even though I was older, and my dad fully admitted it was because he was a boy. He also was given a car in college, while I had to bum rides. DB says that since I made better grades I got more positive attention, that type of thing. Now, we have a better relationship and get on really well. I think for us it was all perspective.
I now have a son and daughter, 17 months apart. We used to call our son the Miracle Baby since he was my 4th pregnancy and our first child. He was VERY wanted. So was DD, but we didn't have such a nickname for her.
DS has been diagnosed with Asperger's, so now I worry about all the extra attention he will have because of special ed and other services. We try to make things as fair as possible, but as my mom always said, fair is not always equal. DS requires the extra attention because of his disability, so DD will just have to understand that he will always receive certain things that she will never get.
I was the only child from my parents together. The issue I had was that my mom had six other kids from a previous marriage. They were all grown by the time I was born. They all resented me because I was given more and had better opportunities than they did growing up. The only reason for this was that my parents were in a better financial position than my mom was when they were kids. The fact that there was only one of me probably made it easier to provide for. They were really rotten to me as a teenager, but I always brushed it off. They still don't talk to me - no loss here!!
Now, as far as me with my kids - they are both equally loved and I feel that they know that. Naturally they each have qualities that I love, and some that I don't love quite as much! One thing that I love about my dd is that she is extremely funny and outgoing - she is the life of the party! But, on the other hand, when she is not happy, she is so unbelievably hard to get along with that it drives me crazy! Now, my ds doesn't quite have the personality that dd does, but he is very even keeled. He doesn't seem to have many "bad days", and when you have to discipline him, he just listens and takes it (I love that)!
When I was a child I always knew that my mother favored my brother over me because she constantly told me so . I was always dressed by goodwill and if I got any new clothes they were from relatives but yet she could go buy my brother a new pair of jeans if he wanted them . She did not let me go to prom because she told me school was not about dances and party dresses . She did not buy me a prom dress and some of my friends tried to give me one of theirs and she made me take them back to the girls . but yet my brother got to go to his prom with a brand new suit to boot . I resented her and him and have not spoken to my mother in over ten years and my brother says I am the one who is wrong for treating her this way . Of course he would he got everything from her and I got nothing .
As for my kids i treated them equally if one got the other got and that is what is fair even if the money was tight if one got new clothes so did the other one . I can remember several times my grandmother slipping five dollar bills in my hand calling it mad money and not to tell the old witch (my mom ). My grandmother hated my mother , she was my dads mom and she adored me and told me many times if she had been younger she would have seen about taking me away from my mother who obviously never wanted me the way she treated me . I really do miss my grandmother .
My son thinks I favor my daughter. My daughter swears I favor my son. I'm not sure if that means I did something wrong, or I did something right?
I love them both equally, just not the same.
In my family, I was the favored one, my siblings all agree. Even in grandchildren, I am always the favored one. I am the first born of the first born, and my dad was my grandma's Golden Child: Grad at the top of his class in Mexico, put himself thru law school, successful lawyer up until his untimely death 4 years ago. So when I was born I was "set up" to be successful. I was always a smart kid in Mexico, learned to speak 2 languages very young, put myself thru college, etc, etc. Yes, my mom still favors me. I can't do anything about it. I think I am the easy going one. I don't argue a lot with her or my grandma. The other two do.
I don't favor either with my kids. All 3 are special although the oldest now tells me I favor the youngest one. But I tell her I used to treat her the same at his age and it will all pass.
When I was a child I always knew that my mother favored my brother over me because she constantly told me so . I was always dressed by goodwill and if I got any new clothes they were from relatives but yet she could go buy my brother a new pair of jeans if he wanted them . She did not let me go to prom because she told me school was not about dances and party dresses . She did not buy me a prom dress and some of my friends tried to give me one of theirs and she made me take them back to the girls . but yet my brother got to go to his prom with a brand new suit to boot . I resented her and him and have not spoken to my mother in over ten years and my brother says I am the one who is wrong for treating her this way . Of course he would he got everything from her and I got nothing .
As for my kids i treated them equally if one got the other got and that is what is fair even if the money was tight if one got new clothes so did the other one . I can remember several times my grandmother slipping five dollar bills in my hand calling it mad money and not to tell the old witch (my mom ). My grandmother hated my mother , she was my dads mom and she adored me and told me many times if she had been younger she would have seen about taking me away from my mother who obviously never wanted me the way she treated me . I really do miss my grandmother .
Oh, what a rotten person, that must have been very hard! How can someone, as a mom be that way? My husbands father in law (who I guess would be considered our kids grandpa) is awful to my son, but fawns all over my daughter - - - it makes me so mad! It got to where we wouldn't even go around him, cause it didn't want him to do any more "damage" to my son. I talked with ds many times and explained to him that the one with the problem was grandpa, not him. DS is pretty thick skinned and it didn't seem to bother him, but it still worried me. It was kind of funny, ds did say "Eeeewww, I wouldn't want him fawning all over me anyways!"
I'm really glad you had your grandma, she sounds like she was a very cool person!
I am the yungest daughter of 3. the only thing my prents favor about me is that i have gotten staight A's since kindergareden. the middle sister ( whos 2 yrs older) gets babied and is favorite becaus she is the middle child and everyone says that the middle gets less attention. my mom works very ard to keep her happy andshe ovelooks everythng i do because she busy thinkngof her. the only thing i've got is smarts and now its like mom doesnt even care now. when i ge my report card she jut signs it and doesnt even check t anymore because, and i quote, im get thesame thing everytime so its not really interesting. my parents didnt notice or 3 months when i broke my leg but she gets sent to he hospital when she sneezes. i go jealous so i act out and i admit it. i get F's on my progress report (i always fix it though) i argue, and im the only one who lets my mom know hen she's wrong. i know it sounds evil but she's the angel. and u cant have theangel without e evil right!
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! One thing that I love about my dd is that she is extremely funny and outgoing - she is the life of the party
! Now, my ds doesn't quite have the personality that dd does, but he is very even keeled. He doesn't seem to have many "bad days", and when you have to discipline him, he just listens and takes it (I love that
! How can someone, as a mom be that way? My husbands father in law (who I guess would be considered our kids grandpa) is awful to my son, but fawns all over my daughter - - - it makes me so mad
! It got to where we wouldn't even go around him, cause it didn't want him to do any more "damage" to my son. I talked with ds many times and explained to him that the one with the problem was grandpa, not him. DS is pretty thick skinned and it didn't seem to bother him, but it still worried me. It was kind of funny, ds did say "Eeeewww, I wouldn't want him fawning all over me anyways!" 
!
