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Old 04-03-2011, 07:34 PM
 
149 posts, read 829,885 times
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Thank you all for your advices. The other question I have is what should I do if other kids hit my son while their parents are not aware of that or they don't do anything about it?
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Old 04-03-2011, 09:44 PM
 
Location: 89074
500 posts, read 746,673 times
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To answer your latest question, I don't know the ages of the kids hitting your son, but just remove him from the situation. If it's repeated hitting I would inform the parents. One thing I have learned raising kids, is that they do hit unless they learn otherwise. I used to think it was kids who were hit by their parents, but no, most kids do it even if they are not hit. Usually because they lack words and skills to appropriately communicate their frustrations.

I would not be that concerned about it. Yes, tell him in a firm voice 'no' and redirect him. Don't go for all the fearmongering and 'my child will never learn if I don't come down on him like a ton of bricks nonsense'. It's overkill. Kids will learn when you are calm, mature, and understand that there are challenges at every developmental stage, trust me.
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Old 04-01-2013, 06:38 AM
 
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Does he hit all the time when fustrated or does it occur more when the child is also tired / hungry / soiled?

Does the child have any issues communicating their needs clearly with verbal cues?

What other's have said, hold the hand gently and say "No, we can not hit", or "You are hitting because you feel xyz, but we can not hit".

Try to reflect to the child that you understand why they are doing what they are doing and try to give them a different option to express their feelings.

Hope things work out!
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Old 04-01-2013, 07:13 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,157,398 times
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Time out is not useful here. You don't want to wind up in a battle over making your tiny kid STAY in time out to distract him from the real lesson. When he goes to strike you, you intercept his hand(s) and guide him to soft touches saying something like "gentle touches". If/when he lands one, you say OW that hurt. Put him down somewhat unceremoniously (not painfully) somewhere safe and leave. You can say something like I don't interact with people who hurt me. When he howls, which he very likely will since he wants whatever caused him to lash out at you AND you have upset his expectation that the hitting was going to do anything, you let him howl. Rinse, repeat. He will get it in short order.
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Old 04-01-2013, 08:20 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
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This thread is 2 yrs old.
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Old 04-01-2013, 08:46 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,157,398 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
This thread is 2 yrs old.

Ooops. Sorry. I saw new unread and thought it was recent.
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Old 04-01-2013, 08:41 PM
 
3,633 posts, read 6,156,724 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetchas View Post
Firmly say no and explain why, if he does it again id swat his hand or bottom.
Teaching kids not to hit by hitting them is either confusing because it's hypocritical, or makes them think it's ok to hit if you're bigger or stronger than the person you're hitting, which is a good start down the road to being a bully. I don't think that's a good message to send.
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Old 04-03-2013, 10:40 AM
 
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So what if the threads 2 years old...the issues never age, and the opinions are just as good today as they were 2 years ago....maybe not for the OP, but for someone else.
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Old 04-04-2013, 08:54 PM
 
Location: New Hampshire
1,137 posts, read 1,395,674 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
if you don't nip this bad behavior in the bud now, it will only get worse. don't let it ride. loud no NO grab his arms as he is going at you and put him in time out-just for a few minutes but enough for him to know this is wrong. don't let it slide.

no kudzu makes a good point but also please understand that this is completely normal behavior for a 17 month old. he wants to be independent and express his frustration but he just hasn't learned how to do these things in the socially acceptable way yet...........

I would reccommend always explaining to him why you are punishing him when you do punish him. Many times baby and young children understand much more than we think they do.
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Old 04-09-2013, 12:55 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
18,408 posts, read 31,536,289 times
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I would have pinched him really hard, and the baby would then realize, "hey that hurts," I better better not scratch my Dad in the face again.


forget this explaining crap, you gotta be kidding.
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